Selective Service Website Crashes As Young America Fears Draft

Selective Service Website Crashes As Young America Fears Draft

Selective Service Website Crashes As Young America Fears Draft

The hysteria amongst the 18-25 crowd has begun. After news of the death of Qasem Soleimani, media outlets and public figures were quick to report that the possibility of World War III was around the corner. This, of course, caused the Selective Service Systems website to crash and burn:

And in come the comments:

If I had $50 for every time someone legitimately claimed they suffered from “bone spurs” on this Twitter feed, I’d be buying myself a new Louis Vuitton purse right now. Yet, some individuals are up-in arms about this. A young individual I know asked me yesterday if I heard the “wonderful” (sarcasm) news about what our “wonderful” (sarcasm, again) President did. After smiling and saying “yes” and seeing this, I now understand that he is legitimately upset about this and, probably, a bit fearful.

It was not just young men who made remarks on the site’s Twitter feed. Concerned parents commented. Angry adults put in their two cents. I mean, a draft for an 18-25 year-old could conceivably cramp a young adult’s style. There’s not much in the way of Instagram-worthy stuff in the middle of a desert or on a ship in the middle of an ocean. There’s not enough time in the day to play video games. And, well, SnapChat is a bit of a security risk when you are in the sandbox. So, yes, I can understand why a generation is thinking doomsday is upon them and crashing the Selective Service servers.

Just for clarification purposes:

With very few exceptions, all males between ages 18 and 25 must register with the Selective Service System (SSS) within 30 days of arriving in the United States. This includes U.S. born and naturalized citizens, parolees, undocumented immigrants, legal permanent residents, asylum seekers, refugees, and all males with visas of any kind which expired more than 30 days ago. The few individuals who are exempt from this requirement are those on current non-immigrant visas.”-sss.gov

But hold up. There’s no draft yet so let’s put a moratorium on the histrionics.

The Selective Service System is conducting business as usual. In the event that a national emergency necessitates a draft, Congress and the President would need to pass official legislation to authorize a draft.”

This is not to say that every male between the ages of 18-25 is a narcissistic, social media-addled, video game junkie who is shaking and quaking about being sent off to war. I do not mean to poke fun at the individuals who are straight-up, legit afraid of the possibility of going off to war. War is scary. I am not poking fun at parents who are afraid of their sons being sent into harms way. My husband and I had this very discussion this last week before any of the events of late transpired about how we would feel if our son followed in his footsteps and became a Marine. I actually think I saw my husband choke up a bit about being unable to protect him. Seeing the individual you brought into this world go out into this crazy world and fight for something bigger than themselves with no guarantees of a victory is a scary concept. But when a website crashes and a Twitter feed is riddled with lame-ass excuses and “not me’s” and questions about how to “unregister” because fighting for a country under President Trump “is not worth fighting for”, we’ve got problems.

I am going to venture and stereotype just a bit here because I know the types of men who would object to any war-especially one “initiated” by our current President. They don’t believe in Christian values and desperately want to read up on other religions. So, they will proudly discuss how they are reading the Quran to broaden their perspective on Islam because it is “taboo” in American society (or so they think). They are advocates for feminism and LGBTQ rights. They value their freedom to express themselves and their ideologies in this country. And even though they fiercely defend their feminist friends and stand with the LGBTQ community, they completely neglect that the fundamental principals of Islam, much like the fundamental Christianity they despise, also does not condone women in certain positions of power and any lifestyle that deviates from heterosexual behavior. They will call bigotry and intolerance on anyone who opposes this here in the U.S. where they are in their safe spaces but are unwilling to cross enemy lines to defend their ideologies and freedoms they enjoy in this country today.

It’s all about your brothers in arms. At least, that is what some young people feel to this day. I leave with one parting thought:

Some of these young men were barely 18. Some lied about their age to fight. Some did not come home to their loved ones. The ones who did, well, some say they would do it all over again. They didn’t want recognition or medals. But go ahead with your bone spurs, not wanting to support our President and blowing up Selective Service servers. Some other suckers will fight for you. For now, chill out. There is no draft. Back to SnapChat you go.

Photo Credit: FlickR/Creative Commons/Attribution 2.0 Generic (CC BY 2.0)

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7 Comments
  • Anchovy says:

    This story is completely false. The crash was caused by the “all about equality” American feminists calling to demand that they, like their male compatriots, be required to register with Selective Service.

  • Wfjag says:

    We have been involved in World War III since, at least, 1979, although our “betters” have done their best to deny it. There is a clash of civilizations occurring. Islam means submission – all non-followers are to be forced to submit and all believers have every aspect of their lives dictated to them. It is completely antithetical to Western thought and values. Fortunately for us, each sect of Islam regards all other sects as apostates and they hate and kill each other with greater frequency and ferocity than they attack us. However, in the next couple of decades there is a significant chance that one sect – the particular version of Shiite believers who control Iran – which has an especially apocalyptic vision of what is necessary to reveal the Hidden, Twelfth Imam, will have nuclear warheads, EMP technology and ICBMs. Unless they are prevented from obtaining those, there will be an open war to return the world to Seventh Century conditions.

    I don’t advocate universal service or a draft. The money that would cost would be much better spent on measures to better protect ourselves and to recover from such an attack. Decentralization of government and infrastructure would be excellent steps. Also, teaching about how different cultures actually view the world and other peoples should be pushed. 9/11 was just one attack on us. There have been and in the future will be, many more. And, remember, when people repeatedly shout slogans that call for your death – believe them that that is what they seek.

  • Linda Hagen-Mooney says:

    This has got to be complete BS. You don’t register for the draft when a war is imminent. You register within a month of your 18th B day. So unless all these silly ppl just turned 18 this is bunk

  • There’s no point in wasting a perfectly good World War at this point in time.
    When the US economy collapses under the weight of the National Debt, THAT’S when it’s time to pull the WWIII rabbit out of the hat.

    If you’re wondering about Iran’s next move, ask yourself this question: “Does Iran really want to unite a deeply divided America with another 9/11 or Pearl Harbor-style attack?”

    Gotta scoot; I’m late for Saturday night poker with Cummings, McCain, and Dingell.

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  • Horatio says:

    I mean, a draft for an 18-25 year-old could conceivably cramp a young adult’s style. There’s not much in the way of Instagram-worthy stuff in the middle of a desert or on a ship in the middle of an ocean. There’s not enough time in the day to play video games.

    Says the female who will never be drafted and who writes on the internet for fun and profit(?). Yes soyboys are annoying but what the hell does quoting someone who wanted to be in the military have to do with a draft? Why do conservatives have such a hard time denouncing the draft? Why do women still believe it their role to shame men into accepting military servitude?

    Some of these young men were barely 18. Some lied about their age to fight. Some did not come home to their loved ones. The ones who did, well, some say they would do it all over again.

    Well, some (25% in fact) WERE drafted and died without the liberty you and I take for granted. Conflating volunteer servicemen who fought an existential threat with slave labor is disgusting. I have great respect for those who choose to serve in dangerous conditions, be they fireman or servicemen, but I’ve nothing but disdain for those who would force my son to die in some foreign hellhole while calling him a lazy coward for liking “video games”. Sod off.

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