Elon Musk’s Most Epic Troll Yet: No Free Lunches

Elon Musk’s Most Epic Troll Yet: No Free Lunches

Elon Musk’s Most Epic Troll Yet: No Free Lunches

Elon Musk came into Twitter with both barrels blazing (and a sink). If you talk to anyone on the left, Musk may very well be the human equivalent of the Grinch who stole Christmas.

That’s if the blue checks actually believed in Christmas. First strike: Elon Musk attempts to make the Twitter headquarters a more efficient workplace by putting the kibosh on yoga during company time, catered lunches and free-flowing wine on tap. What comes next will shock the biggest millennial snowflake into oblivion and to the point of can’t even times eleventy. Are you ready? Elon Musk called for an audit of “ghost employees” on the Twitter payroll.

Twitter had so many people “working” remotely, Musk had to check to make sure that alleged “employees” were truly real people. So, Elon Musk does what any savvy CEO would do to protect his investment that is currently not a profitable one. Before paying out bonuses to his employees, Musk called for an audit to make sure these faces who have not shown up to the physical workplace since March of 2020 are actually real people.

Makes sense to us.

What happened next sent shockwaves from San Francisco and beyond. After this audit, Elon Musk continued to slash the Twitter workforce by slashing 50 percent of the employees of the 7500 employees.

Let that sink in.

Those who are able to go hard core and play to win, Twitter is a good place, And those who are not, totally understand, but then Twitter is not for you.”-Elon Musk

Oh, the humanity! Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has to pay $8 bucks a month for her blue check and now, this? One cannot expect a Twitter employee making $122K and up a year to buy their own lunch!

Cue the hysterics, the barfing into garbage cans. Pass the Kleenex and get ready for some name-calling.

Says the self-proclaimed, “super-followable activist”. (What does this guy actually do for a living?) Of course, someone like Andrew Wortman would whine about not getting a free lunch and stoking hysteria by making false statements like “Elon Musk is trying to starve his employees”.

In subsequent tweets, Wortman calls Elon Musk the “failure incarnate”. You know what is a failure, here? The fact that individuals are openly upset that these employees are no longer getting free lunches! How many organizations provide lunch for their employees? Imagine living in a world where employees feel entitled to FREE lunch.

Dude. Elon Musk is not exactly “stealing from the poor” here, considering the lowest salary at Twitter logs in at around $70,000 a year. Some of us, back in the old days, worked three minimum-wage jobs through college and bought our own lunches, hoping and praying to make rent as we hustled waiting tables for tips. We did all of this while some of you lived off mom and dad’s trust funds, partied all night and slept in on Sundays. We may have complained about our bosses being cheap but we realized this is the real world and that no, we are not entitled to anything.

Is Elon Musk really the evil incarnate or is he just a CEO who recognizes excess when he sees it? As a manager in the tech sector, the mentality of some workers perplexes me. Some honestly think they are entitled to trainings and promotions even though their work ethic and team engagement sucks. They don’t take accountability for their actions that impact the rest of the team they are on and are always victims when called on their bad behavior. The Twitter workforce has been sheltered and coddled above and beyond reality. Let the ones who have been working from home commute to their offices in San Francisco. Let them venture out of their safe space to grab a bite to eat. I hope they get a good dose of the real world as they walk around the streets of San Francisco, get human excrement on their shoes, and see the cesspool they have been largely responsible in encouraging and creating.

The Twitter cafeteria has been closed. Grab some cheese, remaining Twitter employees. You’ll need to brown bag your own whine to wash it down.

You’re a mean one, Mr. Musk.

Photo Credit: Original artwork by VG, Darleen Click

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