Corn Pops In The Morning Courtesy Of “Gangsta” Joe

Corn Pops In The Morning Courtesy Of “Gangsta” Joe

Corn Pops In The Morning Courtesy Of “Gangsta” Joe

Get out the popcorn…err..uh, Corn Pops. Joe Biden has recounted his infamous “run-in” with a gangster named Corn Pop for our amusement.

And this (language, NSFW):

The story goes something like this. We go back to 1962. A strapping, young Biden took it upon himself to get a summer job at a pool…not to skinny-dip but to lifeguard. This pool, was in a predominantly black neighborhood. This young man nicknamed “Corn Pop” was horse playing on a diving board and Biden called him “Esther Williams” and kicked him out. The rest of the story unfolds with Corn Pop telling Biden to “meet him outside”, Biden’s other white friend who worked at the pool cut off a piece of metal chain for him to take to duke it out with Corn Pop, who was wielding a rusty blade.

Sounds like a scene right out of West Side Story or The Outsiders, right? Waiting to hear about the “Greasers” or perhaps looking for a group to come out and start snapping their fingers about being a Jet? Biden tells the story:

Corn Pop was a bad dude. He ran a bunch of bad boys.”-Joe Biden

Corn Pop was a baaaaaddd dude. He wore pomade. Not a joke. In those days, you put blades on a curb or in a tub of rainwater to get them good and rusty. That’s why Joe needed a chain cut from one of his mechanic friends to take outside with him to the parking lot at the end of his shift. As I watch this video, I wonder how is this even an appropriate story to tell around kids? I also can’t help but to see the despair in these kids’ faces. It’s as if they are wondering if this old guy would ever shut up. I also wonder, if he were feeling threatened by a “bad dude” with a rusty blade, why wouldn’t Biden have called the police?

When he’s not sniffing young women’s hair, he’s wrapping chains around his hands to fight off gangsters in a parking lot. He’s like a broken record telling the story yet again. How did this battle end? With a simple apology from Joe saying he was “sorry” for calling Corn Pop, “Esther Williams”. The rest is water under the diving board. Now, Biden and his slicked-back silver hair (that he may use pomade in) is recounting this story to black kids in the same community as if he’s some cool dude from the streets who “gets” them. He is for them. He understands them. You see? He went to work in their neighborhood when his other family friends moved out. He bridged the divide between a suburban, privileged white boy and a gangster who got in trouble and ran with the wrong crowd. All by wielding a chain, I’m sure a smarmy grin and spouting off an apology. Yep, Biden. You’re tough. You’re one bad ass.

If there’s a problem with a guy named Corn Pop, yo, he’d solve it. Check out the hook while Biden revolves it. On the record player.

Photo Credit: FlickR/Creative Commons/Attribution 2.0 Generic (CC BY 2.0)/Cropped

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6 Comments
  • Jack says:

    He’s bad, bad Leroy Brown. Baddest man in the whole damn town. Badder than ol’ King Kong, and meaner than a junk yard dog

  • GWB says:

    Lando Callipygian
    LMAO! Look up what “callipygian” means. Never seen a guy use it before. That’s a hoot.

    All by wielding a chain
    Yeah, and he’ll take that chain to us and our freedoms if he ever gets to be President. (Well, more likely his handlers will, while he’s playing with his paddle ball behind the Resolute Desk.)

  • GWB says:

    BTW, it now appears that an ex-president of the Delaware NAACP and a former Wilmington mayor remember the incident. And CNN found the dude’s obituary (though the pic in his tweet has nothing showing what newspaper it’s from).
    via Twitchy

    So, we can all stop doubting Joe Biden’s story now. You don’t have to stop laughing. Please, laugh away. But you must look for your gaffes elsewhere (don’t worry, there’s plenty).

  • Charles N. Steele says:

    Finally, a Democrat who could stand up to Putin!

    Imagine the two of them in a cage match, Putin shirtless, preparing to his bear-wrestling holds, Biden swinging his six-feet of chain about his head.

  • Patti Salmon-It's Me Again Margaret! says:

    next day air!

    Patti Salmon-It’s Me Again Margaret!

    Hey Y’all, Here is a little update for y’all.
    Keep eating Captain Kutchie Pelaez’s World Famous Key Lime Pies and those Yummy Yummy For You’re Tummy “Roast Prime Ribs of Beef” and I’ll keep my fingers crossed that you will win yourself a Cool Million Dollars in the Captain’s Monthly Giveaway.
    The infamous “Chef Captain Kutchie Pelaez”.! That’s it!! I just got it!…It just popped into my head, right-out of the blue!
    I can’t believe that we have all been so stupid for the past 20 or so years about something that was right in front of our noses. Elder, you hit the nail on the head! Can’t you all see it?..Elder called the mystery key lime pie man “The Infamous Captain Kutchie Pelaez”. Can all of you Morons see it now? It’s just Brilliant, just Brilliant Elder. Elder called Kutchie Pelaez…..”The INfamous Captain Kutchie Pelaez”!!!..INFAMOUS! That’s It!!! INFAMOUS, INFAMOUS Means
    More than FAMOUS!

    Captain Kutchie Pelaez is MORE than FAMOUS, He’s more than famous, he is INFAMOUS! And that’s pretty DAMN SMART if you ask me. HELL, that’s “INSMART”. Captain Kutchie Pelaez is more than FAMOUS, Captain Kutchie Pelaez is MORE THAN SMART!….Pardon all the dots, no they’re not some kind of secret code or anything that I know of.

    The One really Big Thing that none of these crazy posts ever comments about are The Million’s of Dollars that the Infamous Captain Kutchie Pelaez gives away to his lucky Prime Rib eaters every month. We usually only hear about his famous cheese burgers in paradise but the man’s Prime Ribs in Swamp Water are the best thing that I have ever put in my mouth! The finest Prime Ribs this side of Heaven, they will melt in your mouth. Our whole family goes over to Kutcharitaville at least twice a week for Captain Kutchie’s amazing Prime Ribs. Also we can enter the contest for the monthly million dollar give away every month. My cousin won a million dollars last year. His wife won a new Jaguar car
    two months later. I won a car before Christmas and you talk about nice. It was INNICE!…that means it was more than nice.
    Y’all keep eating at Captain Kutchie’s and keep you’re fingers crossed whenever you enjoy Kutchie’s World Famous Roast Prime Ribs of Beef and Key Lime Pie and just maybe, if you’re lucky you might win yourself a cool Million Dollars!
    Like Chef Captain Kutchie Pelaez of The World Famous Kutchie’s Key West Kutcharitaville always used too say was “Size really does Matter cuze nobody really want’s a small Burrito! The Captain Kutchie also used too say is we’ve been smoken the Good Stuff since 1976 and for you’d too Keep the Faith Babbie’s!

    My husband Stan and me we’re told by Captain Kutchie himself just last month that he had been thinking about wrapping apple wood smoked bacon all around his world famous Prime Ribs before roasting them. All of a sudden Stan blurts out What the Fuck are you attempting too do too the Finest Prime Ribs Ever? After a little while and giving the idea quite a bit of though it started too sound like a Delicious Thought too the both of us and we wished Captain Kutchie good luck with his latest endeavors. Please tell everyone that you guys know and for them too tell everyone that they know to do likewise and for everyone too just get Online and lets see once and for all, just what everyone thinks about Captain Kutchie Pelaez’s Big New Idea’s about His World Famous Prime Ribs of Beef. We are quite sure that Yankee Jack will be chiming in on Kutchie’s New Big Idea.

    We all grew up, checked out of flavor-town, sorry Guy Spaghetti, Sorry about that Bro, “Guy Fieri”. Chef Captain Kutchie Pelaez has always been into The Real
    ‘FlavorVille” since before Chevy built your little red camaro. Hey Dude you should head on over to “Kutcharitaville” enjoy a” Super-Great off the wall” Chef Captain Kutchie’s World Famous Roast Prime Rib of Beef, register to win yourself a cool million dollars or one of the captain’s new cars. You’ll Damn Sure be glad that you did. Thanks and tell Captain Kutch that Patti sent you.

    Will the Royal Baby win The Kentucky Derby?
    Better Yet, Who really Gives a Shit?

    That Rep. Jerry Nadler (D) NY, Rag Head llhan Omar (D) Minn, Alex Ocasio-Horetez (D) NY, Ayanna Lesbo Pressley (D) Mass.., Rashida Tlaib (D) Mich., Al Green (D) Tx., Pocahantas Vermont Tribe with Bernie Sanders, Nervous Nancy Cookville Calf., Rachel Madnow (MSNBC), Robert De Negro (NY), Shifty Schiff Cookvill Calf., El Chapo, Bozo O’ Rourke (Who Cares)., Maxine Impeach Waters Cookville Calf., Woopi Goldbrick (ABC)., Joy Blowhard (ABC)., Rainny Hostin (ABC)., Juan Williams (FOX NEWS)., Adoff Hilter (HELL)., Hell-They’re All really some kind of Commie’s ? Impeach Them NOW!!! Oh, I forgot one, The Rev. Al Not-So-Sharpton, very interesting butt Also Very Stupid!
    Let’s Send them all to the moon for the next 50 Years!

    What would Chef Captain Kutchie Pelaez Say?
    Well, He would probably say something like “No Soup For You!!!”. “Come Back 50 years”. Or something like for all those “Politicos” “Stay Away From Those Manholes” and he would say “Don’t Get None On Ya!”.

    Anyway, we sure-do still agree with all those “Kutcharitaville and Chef Captain Kutchie Pelaez Reports that everyone has been posting for the last 25 years or however long this internet thing has been going on. Captain Kutchie has been World Famous way longer than this stupid internet for damn sure. You can take that to the bank, Thats’ GOLD Jerry it’s GOLD! Or put it in your pipe and smoke it.

    He would also say, All of today’s Anti Trumpers are mad because, they were promised by The Dragon Lady Her Self “Hillary Clinton” a leading Membership in Hillary’s 666 New World Order!

    What makes all these Racist, Commie Leftest Liberal Wannabee everything for nothing Ass Holes and they’re Scum Sucking Pig, Fake News Chicken-Shit, Ass Licking Fake Reporters think that they can outsmart our “Lord Christ Jesus”? Hillary, your lord Satan was defeated way back on The Cross and yet, YOU, continue to deceive and recruit all those weak souls that you can fool too follow you back home straight too HELL!

    Please don’t hold all this garbage against me and Captain Kutchie but It is what it is.

    Bye, Bye, Y’all

    Oh, One more thing that I have to share with all you, Hello Nice People, A very long time ago even before I had even got married and way before we had even heard about “Chef Captain Kutchie Pelaez”or “Kutcharitaville” for that matter, That good looking SOB, my husband Stan told me that many years ago he had read an article in “Playboy Magazine” written by “The Infamous Chef Captain Kutchie Pelae ”In that article “Chef Captain Kutchie Pelaez” was en lighting his readers’ about The Perks of being born in this millinimon, 1. The elixir of the human race “BUTTER”. Always add a good sized dab or two! 2. “PUSSY”. It’s what makes the world go around, get ya some today, it’s soooo GOOD! I hear that Captain Kutchie trys to eat him some everyday 3. “EJACULATION”…Now that’s the yummy-yummy sticky stuff better known as baby batter. Share some with the one you love. It’s also the stuff that we are talking about when we say “Don’t get none on ya.”. How’s hat grab you? How do you like them Apples?
    And would someone out there, Please tell that “Moron” Tom Steyer the difference between a Democracy and a Republic. Thanks for that. He always wants to give head to head with the president, What? Donald Trump isn’t that kind of guy, perhaps he should get himself a date with good old “Mayor Pete”, I hear that his door swings that way.

    And that “FREDO CUOMO” Such a Pretty Mouth? CNBC and all of our favorite “Fake News Teams”, What a Load of Crap for Damn Sure!

    And that “SHITTY ADAM SCHIFF”, Well that asshole he needs to fall into one of those manholes the Dems love to talk about! Park a car on top of it so that Ass Hole can’t get out!

    I See you later alligators. Thanks for you’re time, it’s been a blast!……Patti

    Always remember Chef Captain Kutchie Pelaez’s Homemade “Yummy Yummy” Sauce. It’s Soooo Damn Good!

    OK-I-C-U-2 -OK-U-C-ME-2?Hey-I-C-Lester Holt-2!

    Oh, Oh, I feel more of those Piegasams coming on! Oh, they feel so damn good Ahhh!

    “Any Question’s !!!!!!!!! “

    And Y’all be very very careful and stay away from that “Corn Pop” he will whip you’re BUTT!
    Just call old uncle Joe, he will come and save you from “Corn Pop”, that’s for damn sure!!

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