Corn Pops In The Morning Courtesy Of “Gangsta” Joe

Corn Pops In The Morning Courtesy Of “Gangsta” Joe

Corn Pops In The Morning Courtesy Of “Gangsta” Joe

Get out the popcorn…err..uh, Corn Pops. Joe Biden has recounted his infamous “run-in” with a gangster named Corn Pop for our amusement.

And this (language, NSFW):

The story goes something like this. We go back to 1962. A strapping, young Biden took it upon himself to get a summer job at a pool…not to skinny-dip but to lifeguard. This pool, was in a predominantly black neighborhood. This young man nicknamed “Corn Pop” was horse playing on a diving board and Biden called him “Esther Williams” and kicked him out. The rest of the story unfolds with Corn Pop telling Biden to “meet him outside”, Biden’s other white friend who worked at the pool cut off a piece of metal chain for him to take to duke it out with Corn Pop, who was wielding a rusty blade.

Sounds like a scene right out of West Side Story or The Outsiders, right? Waiting to hear about the “Greasers” or perhaps looking for a group to come out and start snapping their fingers about being a Jet? Biden tells the story:

Corn Pop was a bad dude. He ran a bunch of bad boys.”-Joe Biden

Corn Pop was a baaaaaddd dude. He wore pomade. Not a joke. In those days, you put blades on a curb or in a tub of rainwater to get them good and rusty. That’s why Joe needed a chain cut from one of his mechanic friends to take outside with him to the parking lot at the end of his shift. As I watch this video, I wonder how is this even an appropriate story to tell around kids? I also can’t help but to see the despair in these kids’ faces. It’s as if they are wondering if this old guy would ever shut up. I also wonder, if he were feeling threatened by a “bad dude” with a rusty blade, why wouldn’t Biden have called the police?

When he’s not sniffing young women’s hair, he’s wrapping chains around his hands to fight off gangsters in a parking lot. He’s like a broken record telling the story yet again. How did this battle end? With a simple apology from Joe saying he was “sorry” for calling Corn Pop, “Esther Williams”. The rest is water under the diving board. Now, Biden and his slicked-back silver hair (that he may use pomade in) is recounting this story to black kids in the same community as if he’s some cool dude from the streets who “gets” them. He is for them. He understands them. You see? He went to work in their neighborhood when his other family friends moved out. He bridged the divide between a suburban, privileged white boy and a gangster who got in trouble and ran with the wrong crowd. All by wielding a chain, I’m sure a smarmy grin and spouting off an apology. Yep, Biden. You’re tough. You’re one bad ass.

If there’s a problem with a guy named Corn Pop, yo, he’d solve it. Check out the hook while Biden revolves it. On the record player.

Photo Credit: FlickR/Creative Commons/Attribution 2.0 Generic (CC BY 2.0)/Cropped

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5 Comments
  • Jack says:

    He’s bad, bad Leroy Brown. Baddest man in the whole damn town. Badder than ol’ King Kong, and meaner than a junk yard dog

  • GWB says:

    Lando Callipygian
    LMAO! Look up what “callipygian” means. Never seen a guy use it before. That’s a hoot.

    All by wielding a chain
    Yeah, and he’ll take that chain to us and our freedoms if he ever gets to be President. (Well, more likely his handlers will, while he’s playing with his paddle ball behind the Resolute Desk.)

  • GWB says:

    BTW, it now appears that an ex-president of the Delaware NAACP and a former Wilmington mayor remember the incident. And CNN found the dude’s obituary (though the pic in his tweet has nothing showing what newspaper it’s from).
    via Twitchy

    So, we can all stop doubting Joe Biden’s story now. You don’t have to stop laughing. Please, laugh away. But you must look for your gaffes elsewhere (don’t worry, there’s plenty).

  • Charles N. Steele says:

    Finally, a Democrat who could stand up to Putin!

    Imagine the two of them in a cage match, Putin shirtless, preparing to his bear-wrestling holds, Biden swinging his six-feet of chain about his head.

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