If you are like any other person who tried to read the GOP House bill to replace Obamacare yesterday (here, if you care to try), and went cross-eyed, then you are not alone. The bill is so full of bureaucracy-ese that no normal person will be able to get much out of it without having experience reading these crazy things. (And I say that as someone well-versed in reading and comprehending health insurance plans. Today’s bills are not written for their brevity or clarity.)

So, it should come as little surprise that there’s only one really big good thing in the bill, and several bad things in it. The good thing is that the American Health Care Act (AHCA) would strip Planned Parenthood of its federal funding. As can be imagined, Planned Parenthood flipped out – because they were apparently told that they could keep the federal funding, provided they stopped providing abortions. That went over as well as you’d think.

Planned Parenthood is proud to provide abortion—a necessary service that’s as vital to our mission as birth control or cancer screenings. https://t.co/TWGOcVjBJ4

— Cecile Richards (@CecileRichards) March 6, 2017

We won't back down in the face of threats or intimidation, or turn our backs on the patients who count on us. Not today, tomorrow, not ever.

— Cecile Richards (@CecileRichards) March 6, 2017

To be clear, federal funds already DO NOT pay for abortions, an unfair law that has existed for over 40 years. #IStandWithPP

— Planned Parenthood (@PPact) March 6, 2017

The claim that federal money doesn’t pay for abortions at Planned Parenthood is a distinction without a difference. They receive federal money, it goes into the same bank account that gets drawn on to pay for abortion services. Money, by its nature, is fungible.

Of course, this exposes the lie – again – that only 3% of Planned Parenthood’s services involve abortion.

Defunding Planned Parenthood – which has proved that they only worship two things, death and money – is a very good thing. Unfortunately, the rest of the AHCA does not make up for it.

Don’t say “repeal and replace” when you really mean “tinker with.”

— Dana Loesch (@DLoesch) March 7, 2017

This isn't the #Obamacare repeal bill we’ve been waiting for. It's a missed opportunity and step in wrong direction: https://t.co/922ees4RFB

— Mike Lee (@SenMikeLee) March 7, 2017

On the Senate side, Kentucky’s Rand Paul told “Fox & Friends” on Tuesday morning that the proposal’s call to continue the original law’s Medicaid expansion through 2020 — before ending additional federal aid to participating states — is “untenable.”

While the House GOP bill would nix the so-called individual mandate to buy insurance and the accompanying penalties, Paul complained that the proposal would instead let insurers add a 30 percent premium surcharge for anyone whose insurance lapses.

Paul said that’s effectively a “mandate,” only the penalty is paid to insurance companies instead of the government.

“This is in all likelihood unconstitutional,” Paul said. “This is ObamaCare Lite. It will not pass. Conservatives are not going to take it.”

There are so many better ways to create a replacement to Obamacare, and this is not what conservatives were thinking of – or were even promised. There is nothing in this bill that President Trump touted during his joint address. But wait, he says! This is only phase one?

Don't worry, getting rid of state lines, which will promote competition, will be in phase 2 & 3 of healthcare rollout. @foxandfriends

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) March 7, 2017

According to Trump and the GOP, it’s a question of HOW they can pass what they want.

What do you mean by “correct”? Can you elaborate?

— Charles C. W. Cooke (@charlescwcooke) March 7, 2017

we’ve long talked about this in 3 parts: what we can do in recon, what the admin can do on its own, and what will need 60

— Brendan Buck (@BrendanBuck) March 7, 2017

yes. i know no one believes me, but we’ve been talking about all this together, with the WH, for quite some time.

— Brendan Buck (@BrendanBuck) March 7, 2017

The reason WHY no one believes you, Brendan Buck, counsel to Speaker of the House Paul Ryan, is that conservatives have been told before to eat the crap sandwich in order to get dessert passed down the table too many times before. And then dessert never shows up, or it’s a expired box of cookies, not the three-layer cake we were promised. There needs to be a more aggressive effort to repeal and replace Obamacare without trying to tinker with it.

Pushing a bill that continues subsidies is the exact opposite of “draining the swamp.” Midterms come fast, GOP.

— Dana Loesch (@DLoesch) March 7, 2017

That’s a promise, not a warning, GOP. Conservatives have not worked this long to fight Obamacare to simply end up with its slightly less cumbersome sibling.