Natalie Harp really, really likes her boss. More than I have ever liked a boss. More than I can imagine liking a boss. I have never chased an employer across a golf course, climbed into the trunk of a vehicle to stay near him, or felt compelled to call him “Guardian and Protector.” And here I thought showing up on time was enough.

But yes, Natalie may want to consider a hobby. Knitting is nice. But judging by the absolute meltdown over this woman during this past week, Washington might consider one too.

Apparently We Must Have An Explanation

There is no middle setting left in Washington. You can’t simply look at Natalie Harp and think, Well, there’s an unusually dedicated employee. No, we must now determine What It All Means, preferably on cable television.

And in hit pieces from the likes of the New York Times, Vanity Fair and the Miami Herald, with increasingly dramatic adjectives.

Maureen Dowd has called the relationship “pathological.”

The president’s proclivity for surrounding himself with sycophants — and attractive young blondes — is well known.

But this relationship is pathological, and a source of great irritation among other courtiers. It is Trump distilled to his essence: cult leader and his most rabid follower, narcissist and his most flattering mirror. – Maureen Dowd

Vanity Fair writer Chris Whipple gave us “troubled young woman” and “fact-free fangirl,” while assuring everyone he wasn’t trying to play armchair psychologist.

Miami Herald reporter Julie K. Brown dispensed with the psychology altogether and called Harp Trump’s “side piece.”

None of these people defending Trump’s side piece seemed to have any issue with Trump calling female reporters “piggy” and “hag.” https://t.co/1DnGIVXioG

— julie k. brown (@jkbjournalist) August 19, 2026

Bill Maher, meanwhile, looked around at the spectacle and wondered why he couldn’t find a millennial willing to work that hard. I’m going to have to give Maher this round.

🚨 BOOM! Bill Maher just rushed to the defense of Donald Trump aide NATALIE HARP against the fake news

“She had BONE cancer in her 20s, and liked Trump because he sped up the experimental treatment!”

“Let the man have a f–king friend!”

“I don’t know why you have to go after…

— Eric Daugherty (@EricLDaugh) August 22, 2026

Employee Of The Month, Every Month

If you love your job, good for you; you’ve landed in the right spot, and you worked hard for it. You knew what you wanted and went after it.

This is the president. I can’t imagine being one of his personal aides comes with regular office hours and a firm “don’t call me after five” policy. It’s most definitely a 24-hour, seven-day-a-week kind of job because, well, your boss is the President of the United States.

She’s just really enthusiastic is all. And Natalie needs to be to keep up with Donald J. Trump.

I think the portable printer is my favorite part of this whole saga. Apparently Trump’s internet must occasionally become paper, and Natalie is the woman who makes that happen. As a person born in the mid 1960s, I still like to see words on paper to read. And to have it On Demand is a genius idea.

Natalie Harp, known as Donald Trump’s “human printer,” is the incredibly devoted (some might say unsettlingly obsessed) Trump aide whose job is to print out flattering articles about Trump and deliver them to him in a Lululemon bag. But her whole deal is even weirder.

According… pic.twitter.com/BaqiDpaEQI

— New York Magazine (@NYMag) August 18, 2026

Honestly, there is no story-story here. There’s no evidence of anything illicit going on, no secret affair that anyone has uncovered, no great White House scandal lurking behind that portable printer. There’s a very devoted employee who may be a little more devoted to her boss than most of us can relate to. That’s about it. At some point, people need to get a life. I’m looking at you, Ossoff.

Everybody Could Use Some Fresh Air

Natalie might benefit from a little work-life balance. Take a Saturday. Sleep late. Go to Target. Buy some yarn. Leave the portable printer charging at home and discover the liberating feeling of not knowing what Donald Trump is reading for an entire afternoon.

The rest of Washington might try something similar. Maybe turn off the armchair psychology, put down the Natalie Harp dossier, and go find some actual news. There’s an entire world out there, and I feel reasonably certain something happened in it while everyone was busy trying to figure out just how much Natalie likes Donald Trump.

Feature Image: By The White House – Natalie Harp, Public Domain, Link/and Donald Trump By Daniel Torok – White HouseFacebook, Public Domain, Link/edited in Canva Pro