Spartacus Makes Last Minute Plea for More Moolah

Spartacus Makes Last Minute Plea for More Moolah

Spartacus Makes Last Minute Plea for More Moolah

Cory “Spartacus” Booker, pompous windbag par excellence, is in real financial trouble, according to his campaign manager. In fact, if Booker doesn’t raise $1.7 million by September 30, his campaign is toast.

Booker’s campaign manager, Addisu Demissie, sent out a memo on Saturday to staff alerting them to particularly weak fundraising in early September. He also said that “the next 10 days will determine whether Cory Booker can stay in this race.”

Demissie must be hoping for a miracle here. Not only are Booker’s finances in hot water, he’s polling at less than three percent, according to RealClearPolitics.

So here are some excerpts from the Spartacus-Needs-Mo’-Money memo:

I don’t see much chance of Booker beating Trump, but you be you, Spartacus.

“As the only candidate in the Democratic field who goes home to a low-income, majority-minority community, Cory is able to speak with uncommon moral clarity about the pain of Americans who feel left out and left behind. . .”

You mean the guy who was born to two IBM executives, grew up in a wealthy suburb, and attended Stanford? Tell us about being left behind, Spartacus.

But here’s the “bottom line:”

“Cory 2020 needs to raise an additional $1.7 million by September 30 to be in a position to build the organization necessary to continue competing for the nomination. Without a fundraising surge to close out this quarter, we do not see a legitimate long-term path forward.”

Oh, one more thing, in case you were wondering . . .

“This isn’t an end-of-quarter stunt or another one of those memos from a campaign trying to spin the press.”

Right. And finally:

“Help raise the $1.7 million needed before 11:59 pm on September 30.”

Otherwise Spartacus might turn into a pumpkin, or more likely a washed-up candidate.

Right now, however, in my head I’m hearing Freddie Mercury singing “Another One Bites the Dust.”

Spartacus

Credit: giphy.com.

In Iowa on Saturday, Booker also made his own pitch for more money, telling MSNBC:

“The fourth quarter’s when you gotta grow. Grow or get out and we are not in this for an ego exercise, this is not a vanity play. I’m in this to win the nomination and beat Donald Trump.”

Cory Booker not in this for his ego? Oh, my aching sides!

Ah, but the loser Democrats are starting to fall. On Friday, New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio dropped out of the race. So have Kirsten Gillibrand, John Hickenlooper, Jay Inslee, Seth Moulton, and Eric Swalwell.

And another one gone, and another one gone, another one bites the dust.

Face it, Spartacus, it’s time for you to go.

 

Featured image: Pictures of Money/flickr/cropped/CC BY 2.0.

Written by

Kim is a pint-sized patriot who packs some big contradictions. She is a Baby Boomer who never became a hippie, an active Republican who first registered as a Democrat (okay, it was to help a sorority sister's father in his run for sheriff), and a devout Lutheran who practices yoga. Growing up in small-town Indiana, now living in the Kansas City metro, Kim is a conservative Midwestern gal whose heart is also in the Seattle area, where her eldest daughter, son-in-law, and grandson live. Kim is a working speech pathologist who left school system employment behind to subcontract to an agency, and has never looked back. She describes her conservatism as falling in the mold of Russell Kirk's Ten Conservative Principles. Don't know what they are? Google them!

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