It’s so sad when Grandma Hillary can’t remember how many times she has declared that she’s running for president.

Shorter @HillaryClinton – "1st official launch was such a disaster, we're having a second official launch."

Like a Hobbit second breakfast

— Jay Caruso (@JayCaruso) June 1, 2015

But because she insisted on having a big party, her campaign stuck one out in the middle of the East River on Roosevelt Island (which, ironically, used to be nicknamed “Welfare Island”) and let her give a big old speech to “launch” her campaign. Again.

You see corporations making record profits, with CEOs making record pay, but your paychecks have barely budged.

While many of you are working multiple jobs to make ends meet, you see the top 25 hedge fund managers making more than all of America’s kindergarten teachers combined. And, often paying a lower tax rate.

So, you have to wonder: “When does my hard work pay off? When does my family get ahead?”

Hillary complaining about hedge fund managers. Meanwhile, Chelsea's husband, a hedge fund manager, looks on.

— Comfortably Smug (@ComfortablySmug) June 13, 2015

Instead of an economy built by every American, for every American, we were told that if we let those at the top pay lower taxes and bend the rules, their success would trickle down to everyone else.

@ron_fournier Did you catch the bit where Hillary talked about other rich folks who bend the rules? Um, excuse me?!

— GeriRosman (@GeriRosman) June 13, 2015

When President Clinton honored the bargain, we had the longest peacetime expansion in history, a balanced budget, and the first time in decades we all grew together, with the bottom 20 percent of workers increasing their incomes by the same percentage as the top 5 percent.

When President Obama honored the bargain, we pulled back from the brink of Depression, saved the auto industry, provided health care to 16 million working people, and replaced the jobs we lost faster than after a financial crash.

But, it’s not 1941, or 1993, or even 2009. We face new challenges in our economy and our democracy.

So, both your husband and Obama had two terms each, and had Democratic control of the Congress at the beginning of each of their presidencies, and we’re still a wreck? Is this a subtle way to blame Bush without actually mentioning his name, or to blame Obama for not doing enough, or what?

And then we got into the “sainted mother” territory.

My mother taught me that everybody needs a chance and a champion. She knew what it was like not to have either one.

Her own parents abandoned her, and by 14 she was out on her own, working as a housemaid. Years later, when I was old enough to understand, I asked what kept her going.

You know what her answer was? Something very simple: Kindness from someone who believed she mattered.

The 1st grade teacher who saw she had nothing to eat at lunch and, without embarrassing her, brought extra food to share.

The woman whose house she cleaned letting her go to high school so long as her work got done. That was a bargain she leapt to accept.

And, because some people believed in her, she believed in me.

So, she didn’t believe in you because you were her own daughter? This is such a strangely framed anecdote.

Then we got into Hillary’s own work history.

My first job out of law school was for the Children’s Defense Fund. I walked door-to-door to find out how many children with disabilities couldn’t go to school, and to help build the case for a law guaranteeing them access to education.

As a leader of the Legal Services Corporation, I defended the right of poor people to have a lawyer. And saw lives changed because an abusive marriage ended or an illegal eviction stopped.

A little selective self-editing, and we’ll just leave out the part about getting a child rapist off, and getting fired from the House Judiciary Committee staff investigating Watergate.

So, what does she actually want to do as president to fix all bad stuff?

In the coming weeks, I’ll propose specific policies to:

Reward businesses who invest in long term value rather than the quick buck – because that leads to higher growth for the economy, higher wages for workers, and yes, bigger profits, everybody will have a better time.

I will rewrite the tax code so it rewards hard work and investments here at home, not quick trades or stashing profits overseas.

I will give new incentives to companies that give their employees a fair share of the profits their hard work earns.

We will unleash a new generation of entrepreneurs and small business owners by providing tax relief, cutting red tape, and making it easier to get a small business loan.

We will restore America to the cutting edge of innovation, science, and research by increasing both public and private investments.

Every single politician says stuff like this.

And we will make America the clean energy superpower of the 21st century.

So much for cutting all that red tape for businesses.

And let’s not forget that she will fix how people behave and how people think.

And it is way past time to end the outrage of so many women still earning less than men on the job — and women of color often making even less.

Perhaps she should clean her own closet first.

And, we should ban discrimination against LGBT Americans and their families so they can live, learn, marry, and work just like everybody else.

Cue the props!

@verumserum that wasnt staged, at all.

— illegalDeetz (@tahDeetz) June 13, 2015

You’d think a former Secretary of State would tout some foreign policy achievements. Well, not so much.

No other country on Earth is better positioned to thrive in the 21st century. No other country is better equipped to meet traditional threats from countries like Russia, North Korea, and Iran – and to deal with the rise of new powers like China.

So much for that reset button.

No other country is better prepared to meet emerging threats from cyber attacks, transnational terror networks like ISIS, and diseases that spread across oceans and continents.

As your President, I’ll do whatever it takes to keep Americans safe.

Ambassador Christopher Stevens was unavailable for comment.

It was a completely predictable speech that hit all of the predictable points. The only reason Hillary gave this speech was to throw a big photo-op party after her video and little coffee chats have not gone as well as she wanted.

But don’t mention her wardrobe.

I you're tweeting what @HillaryClinton is wearing, ask yourself if you've ever tweeted about @billclinton's attire

— Ron Fournier (@ron_fournier) June 13, 2015

You know, even if Hillary herself does.

Hillary is on Instagram! Follow along for a behind-the-scenes look at the campaign: http://t.co/N09gfgmFmN pic.twitter.com/IeabYmyWNh

— Hillary Clinton (@HillaryClinton) June 10, 2015

@ron_fournier @HillaryClinton @billclinton she’s selling t-shirts with mock pantsuits on them. If she’s gonna make it an issue….

— Toby Harshaw (@tobinharshaw) June 13, 2015

After all, we never talked about Bill Clinton and clothes. Ever.
https://twitter.com/TANSTAAFL23/status/609756521782603777
So, did Hillary manage to sell herself any better for this campaign launch do-over? Well, here are the crowds!

Beautiful day for a campaign launch: pic.twitter.com/7muwmQ8FVD

— Hillary Clinton (@HillaryClinton) June 13, 2015

And here is the overflow area!

Clinton's campaign set aside this area for overflow w jumbotron. Here it is 20 min to speech: pic.twitter.com/MUUhZJFiD0

— Dan Merica (@danmericaCNN) June 13, 2015

I can feel the excitement.

But it’s okay, she’ll do another “campaign launch” somewhere else when this one doesn’t give her a big enough boost. Or when she forgets that she did this already. Again.