Old blowhard Mark Hamill teamed up with Obama a few weeks back and now, Harrison Ford is stumping in the name of climate change and social justice at commencement.

At least we could credit Mr. Ford for more movie accolades than Mr. Hamill, who is still grasping for relevance because he played Luke Skywalker a long time ago in a galaxy far away. Hans Solo took to the stage at Arizona State University to receive his honorary Doctorate (because celebs deserve honorary Doctorates any time they set foot on a college campus) and caution the young whipper-snappers on what he knows. In fact, Indiana Jones thinks we may be on the verge of becoming extinct.

Humanity is a part of nature, not above it. We have an essential mandate to protect 30% of the world’s land and sea by 2030, to prevent the mass extinction, to slow the warming of our planet.”-Harrison Ford

Says the guy who probably flew a private jet from Los Angeles metro to his speaking engagement in Tempe, but moving on…

Still, despite new science, new policies, we are still losing nature to profiteering, corruption, conflict — including land that is already protected on paper. These efforts matter, but they’re not enough.

We need cultural change. We need to extend social justice. We need to respect and elevate the Indigenous people that are being marginalized and, in many cases, killed in cold blood.

These communities have long understood that the trees, the mountain, water, soil are not commodities. They are relatives to be cherished for following generations to embrace and protect.”-Harrison Ford

The trees, the mountain, the water, the animals, the soil produced commodities, Harrison. Ancient civilizations and Indigenous peoples TRADED these commodities. They created an ECONOMY, dumbass. And, Indigenous peoples being marginalized? Dude, have you seen some of the casinos in the desert southwest? Old, white people on fixed incomes are hoping the next slot machine hits the big payout are the reason they laugh all the way to the bank. I can tell you that my father, back in his gambling days largely subsidized the sparkly new hotel and expansion of their local casino while he was mopping floors at a Wal-Mart. MY college fund was pissed away and went to the Indigenous tribes. Sidebar: I was a liberal then and thought everyone owed me for majoring in something of no utility, so take my complaints about my degree not being financed by mummy and daddy at face value. But, please. Respect and elevate? Give it a rest.

The only thing that is extinct is Harrison Ford’s functioning brain.

it’s very sad, but I prefer to remember the Harrison we knew back when he had a functioning brain…. pic.twitter.com/A8ZIwcuFSb

— Poiseuille (@JLM_Poiseuille) May 15, 2026

Harrison Ford, Champion to the Indigenous Peoples:

As a Choctaw Indian, I don’t need these clowns to tell me what I need. I’ve earned everything I have on my own without using a crutch or a handout. Earned a college degree, worked in healthcare my whole career. America has been very good to me.

— ST470 (@AmericanFreak9x) May 15, 2026

And, is his sprawling Wyoming ranch built on stolen land? I’m betting it is…

When I’m up in Wyoming, I just walk out the door and keep walking. Well, if my chores are done and there’s nothing more pressing and the weather’s good, I’ll go flying — I love to fly up there — or walk in the woods, do some work, ride my road bike or mountain bike.”-Harrison Ford

Oh, he goes flying when he’s done with his “chores”. How cute is that? Hey, Harrison, FYI, even small planes and helicopters emit greenhouse gases.

But we, Gen X-ers, and the generations before us, have left this world a mess of the Hesperus. We’ve ruined EVERYYYYYTHING. And it’s up to them-the Instagram, The TikTok generation-to save us all!

We can all play a role by embracing that wisdom in our day-to-day lives, by loving the planet, by honoring nature’s authority, her generosity, the bounty she affords us, the justice of her example, because the world you’re stepping into, the world my generation left you, is a real mess.

Your generation has far more power than you may realize. And if you harness that power, if you find your leadership, your issues, your voice, the world will not be able to ignore you.”-Harrison Ford

Harness the power, oh Paldawans! Use the force. Harness it like Indiana Freaking Jones with his lasso.

Boy, ASU should have skipped Han Solo and gone with a Wookie.

— Borealis (@StLouisHawken) May 16, 2026

Chewie’s warbling may have at least been more entertaining than this drivel. And, Chewbacca may have even stunk a lot less on a hot, desert’s day. Let me tell ya, I’d rather be in a tomb with a dead man than hear another one of these speeches.

Featured Photo Credit: Kevin Paul, CC BY 4.0 , via Wikimedia Commons/Cropped