Chelsea Manning’s balls probably will never touch a Senate seat

Chelsea Manning’s balls probably will never touch a Senate seat

Chelsea Manning’s balls probably will never touch a Senate seat

If you hadn’t heard, traitorous yambag Chelsea Manning has filed paperwork to challenge Ben Cardin for his Maryland Senate seat.

Quick note here: I am calling this pernicious butt monkey by his legal name. He legally changed it, so be it. If he legally changes his name to Buttwad McFucklestein, I’ll call him that as well, but as I mentioned in a post a few months ago, there’s no way I’m affording him the courtesy of calling him by his preferred pronoun. Screw him.

That said… Chelsea Manning is a felon. Chelsea Manning was convicted in July 2013 of violating the Espionage Act and other offenses, which landed him in prison for 35 years before Barry Obama commuted his sentence before flouncing out the door of the White House. One would think Chelsea Manning would be ineligible to run for public office, right?

Apparently not. (See: Ted Stevens (corRuptocrat – AK)

It is possible for a felon to serve in the U.S. Congress – but the House and Senate can vote to expel any member that colleagues deem unfit or unqualified to serve.

Our old pal the Constitution sets three requirements to serve in federal office:

1 – All members of the House must be at least 25 years old, and members of the Senate must be at least 30 years old.
2 – Members of the House must have been a U.S. citizen for at least seven years, and members of the Senate must have been a U.S. citizen for at least nine years.
3 – They have to be an “inhabitant” of the state “when elected.”

So Chelsea Manning can run. Chelsea Manning can even legally serve in the Senate should he be elected. But should the members vote to make Manning go away, Manning and his shriveled ballsack will go right back to Maryland where he will undoubtedly whine that he was discriminated against because of his plumbing, rather than because he’s a traitorous sack of cat vomit who put innocent people in harm’s way and did untold damage to our relationships with our allies.

My sense is that even if the Democrats eke out a majority in the Senate, they will never seat that traitorous, entitled, whining swine.

He is a felon. He is a felon who willfully handed sensitive U.S. information to an enemy agent – the hygiene challenged Julian Assange. He did it for no other reason than he was butthurt about the Army not giving him the respect he felt he was entitled to and hated his fellow Soldiers. He was obviously intellectually superior to them, but no one acknowledged this. Poor baby.

I would submit that most Americans with a shred of common sense (I exclude millennial snowflakes with progressive social justice disease in this group) would raise holy hell if the Senate voted to seat Manning.

Photo courtesy of Steven Senne / Associated Press; man hands and Adam’s apple courtesy of biology

But that would mean that Manning actually won the Democratic primary and proceeded to win the election, and despite Maryland being a progressive shithole (see what I did there?), I doubt even Maryland would be stupid enough to send Chelsea Manning to Washington.

That leaves one with the question: why is Chelsea Manning running?

Certainly Chelsea Manning can’t be tone deaf enough to believe he could win against entrenched Democrat Ben Cardin, could he? And if he is, his claim to a superior intellect is further challenged by this move.

And certainly Manning can’t believe the Senate would ever actually allow him to represent Maryland, can he? He couldn’t serve on any of the committees that receive classified information, and he can’t be trusted.

So why?

My first guess is money. There are actual morons out there who will give Manning’s campaign money, and running can be quite lucrative. It’s not like Manning has had any real employment since his release from the pokey. His visiting fellowship to Harvard has been rescinded, his entry into Canada has been denied, because his crimes here were equivalent to treason convictions up north, and he’s spent his time whining about civil liberties, free speech, and how difficult life has been for him since his release – both in print and in personal appearances. I can’t imagine that brings in a whole lot of money. So what does a disgraced former Army private do after serving some time in prison for betraying his country? Why, run for public office, of course! He wouldn’t be the first pig to attempt to replace real employment with the public teat.

My second guess is attention. No one seems to pay a whole lot of attention to poor Chelsea. His social media posts are filled with progressive pablum and nauseating emojis, but not much substance. The only people who come see him speak are prognazi fruitcakes who hate America and who think he is somehow a hero, even after it has been shown numerous times that he’s nothing more than an entitled snowflake, who I suspect is hiding behind his “Trans Shield” to avoid criticism. So even if he knows he cannot win, I suspect it’s certainly fun for him to have every media outlet in America speculate about his challenging Ben Cardin in a primary and to see his name in print.

God forbid anyone ever forget him!

Regardless of the reason, I seriously doubt Manning’s shriveled sack (or any other part of him) will ever touch a Senate seat, and this little blip will disappear into the annals of the Internet as an unfunny and pathetic joke.

Written by

Marta Hernandez is an immigrant, writer, editor, science fiction fan (especially military sci-fi), and a lover of freedom, her children, her husband and her pets. She loves to shoot, and range time is sacred, as is her hiking obsession, especially if we’re talking the European Alps. She is an avid caffeine and TWD addict, and wants to own otters, sloths, wallabies, koalas, and wombats when she grows up.

12 Comments
  • Wfjag says:

    As viable a political candidate as Chelsea Clinton.

  • parker says:

    This traitor/confused puppy is far more likely to eventually commit suicide than successfully primary an entrenched professional Maryland senator. His pardon by Obama reveals that the ‘messiah’ president is likewise a traitor.

  • Appalled By The World says:

    I don’t know-Manning has lots of great qualities for Progs. It’s a tranny and a traitor (which makes it a two time hero),is an ex con and got Nerobama’s (MCF) seal of approval with that pardon. Plus, like Nerobama (MCF) it’s totally unqualified to hold any kind of office. All of this screams IDEAL candidate for the Bolshevik party. So they’ll go all out in trying to get this loathsome creature into office.

  • GWB says:

    First, Manning is 30yo?!? Who knew? I always assumed he was 22 or so.

    Second, “yambag”? Oy.

    Third, I think you’re underestimating the stupidity and need to virtue-signal of the leftist crowd. And overestimating the desire of the Senate to hold to some old-fashioned notion of honor.

    *shudder*

  • Old GI says:

    I will send money to her/him just to watch the Democrats squirm.

    On every issue, he/she is 100% Democrat Platform. A SJW who
    gave up his/her freedom to inform the World of America’s misdeeds.
    Normally, he/she would be the beloved of the Leftists who control
    the Democratic Party. Watch them “kill their young”. Yooray.

  • GWB says:

    MoH recipient, Dakota Meyer, tweeted
    Didn’t xychelsea already have a chance to serve this country honorably and fail?
    via Twitchy

  • harleycowboy says:

    Can a convicted felon hold federal office? A commuted sentence is not the same as a pardon.

  • Brian Brandt says:

    Aren’t they in a jar somewhere?

    • Marta Hernandez says:

      I’m trying not to know that. Actually, he hasn’t been snipped yet, so technically still a poorly endowed guy.

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