Some stories require careful analysis, extensive background, and a thoughtful examination of all the facts. This is not one of those stories. The Clintons are looking for an intern. More specifically, the Clinton Foundation is looking for an unpaid intern for Hillary Clinton’s office, and among the qualifications is a high level of professionalism and discretion.

Yes, they really put Clinton, intern, and discretion in the same job posting and expected the rest of us to act like adults about it. We will not be doing that.

Where is Sgt. Hans Schultz when you need him? https://t.co/Jnvfqo8cM5 Hillary Clinton is seeking an intern “with a high level” of “discretion” to work for free. Applicants might want to Google this one. https://t.co/vIdUrb40Lx

— Jonathan Turley (@JonathanTurley) August 31, 2026

The internship is in Hillary’s New York City office, where the lucky applicant will help with research, memos, office management and whatever else needs doing around Clinton World. Pretty standard intern stuff, really. It’s that requirement for a high level of professionalism and discretion that makes you wonder whether anyone in Clinton World stopped to appreciate the words they had just put together.

Bill Lost Intern Privileges

Bill Clinton, meanwhile, is not getting an intern. His office is looking for a “special projects associate,” which is a completely different thing and I am sure nobody involved in writing these job descriptions noticed how much fun they were providing the rest of us.

Bill’s special-projects person will draft meeting agendas, edit briefs, and coordinate activities between his office and the Clinton Foundation. More importantly, this person actually gets paid, somewhere in the neighborhood of $50,000 to $55,000 a year.

For Our Younger Readers

For anyone too young to understand why your parents are snickering, Bill Clinton had an affair with 22-year-old White House intern Monica Lewinsky while he was president. What followed included secretly recorded phone calls, a blue dress, DNA evidence, cigars, impeachment, and one of the most embarrassing chapters in presidential history. Those of us who lived through the 1990s do not need a refresher course. We remember.

Which brings us right back to that poor job posting.

Look, “professionalism and discretion” is a perfectly reasonable thing to ask of someone working in a former secretary of state’s office. Nobody is suggesting otherwise. But somebody at the Clinton Foundation had to type the words intern and discretion, presumably with a straight face, hit publish, and somehow never stop to consider what the rest of us were going to do with them.

I would pay good money to get my hands on the Clinton Foundation employee handbook, because you just know there are some oddly specific rules buried in there. Interns must travel in pairs. No blue dresses. Brunettes should probably check with HR before accepting the position. Bill does not supervise the interns, interns do not participate in special projects, and nobody is allowed to ask what the definition of is is.

You laugh, but somewhere in Clinton World there may be a three-ring binder thicker than a phone book explaining all of this.

Feature Image: Gage Skidmore from Surprise, AZ, United States of America, CC BY-SA 2.0, via Wikimedia Commons