CHAZ Inside The People’s Republic Of Seattle

CHAZ Inside The People’s Republic Of Seattle

CHAZ Inside The People’s Republic Of Seattle

We thought California did crazy. We always knew it was weird in Portland. The city of Seattle? Wait, hold my intensely-hoppy microbrew. Welcome to the land of CHAZ.

Seattle City Council member, Kshama Sawant facilitated the storming of Seattle City Hall by protestors, demanding mayor Jenny Durkan to step down after a march from the new Mogadishu of the Emerald City-the Capitol Hill Autonomous Zone (or CHAZ). How mighty Boshevik of them, don’t you think?

The merry ol’ land of CHAZ consists of a six-block radius blocked off to the police. The CHAZ consists of Antia, anti-capitalist demonstrators. They have set up a border but claim to want no trouble. They even have their own de-facto ruler of The CHAZ, a guy by the name of Raz. I’m thinking dystopian Dr. Suess books right about now.

Rumor has it that “Raz” also has several properties (outside of The CHAZ) that he likes to rent out. So, this real-estate renter is now the leader of a budding, socialist utopia? Noted. The CHAZ is described as a “peaceful” place where music plays, people hug it out and brightly-colored umbrellas house stands offer free stuff for the taking. What kind of free stuff? Whatever. It’s free. Until it runs out.

But everything must have a border, right? Occupants have even gone as far as creating border checkpoints. Borders and yes, guns…they need guns:

Wait a second…borders and guns are needed in a liberal, utopian society? I thought they were all hanging out smoking up, eating free food and having giant sleepover parties in the streets. “It’s a beautiful dream and powerful magic”, says one Twitter subscriber. It’s all fun and games until members of the CHAZ welcome in some homeless folks who steal said free food. Then, they take to Twitter to ask for donations including vegan meat substitutes and soy products, stating that they would “need more food to keep the area operational.”

And, speaking of keeping things operational, as if we can’t get any more clueless in Seattle, in comes Washington State governor, Jay Inslee, from taking his little snake nap under a rock to say he knew NOTHING about The CHAZ…or, at least, he claimed to know nothing:

“News to me”, he says. “Before I espouse an opinion, I should know of what I speak”, he says.

It’s funny how Inslee knew a lot about the “science” of COVID-19 a few weeks back. The “science” that kept Washington State on lockdown for MONTHS. Now, all of a sudden, the governor of Washington State is playing off that he had NO IDEA of what is going on in the largest city in his state and he’s not wanting to give his opinion on it? Since when has Jay Inslee NOT given his opinion on something?

Nothing to see here…wash your hands. Wear a mask. As an act of love. As an act of justice.

Justice like extortion of businesses within the “autonomous zone” with weapons in hand, right? But don’t dare say anything negative about the enlightenment that is going on in The CHAZ or you will be refuted with arguments like this:

Or this:

Beautiful and potentially world-changing. Really? Tell me how beautiful those six blocks are going to be when those Port-A-Pottys get filled up and start stinking up the streets? Let’s talk about fragility when armed occupants of the zone come at others for saying the wrong thing because we all know they all love to fight amongst themselves. Tell us how is occupying an upper-class, high-rent, big-city neighborhood whist having co-ed sleepovers and watching “13” on a big screen going to change the world? Let me guess. Their discourse and discussions (over some fine kush) are so intellectual because they all took that one African-American Studies class in college. Face it, it’s beyond your understanding, minions!

President Trump put in his two cents yesterday only to receive this response from Seattle Mayor Jenny Durkan:

Says the mayor who was voted in and asked to resign the other day by these very occupants. Says the mayor who lost control of “her” city years before this happened. Says the mayor who enabled and encouraged this behavior time and time again. Words are just those, Jenny. While the streets of your city have been overrun by homeless drug-addicts and criminals, other residents of the Emerald City have taken a 6-block area hostage. There are people who live there and pay taxes who now have other residents coming in and camping out in their streets at night. What happens when they need the police or the fire department, genius?

Oh, Seattle. The Jungle is soooo 2016. You’ve got The CHAZ now. You’re changing the world! Now, please send Tofurky and more sidewalk chalk.

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17 Comments
  • GWB says:

    We need more people with guns at the CHAZ
    I agree wholeheartedly. Is there a militia that would like to take this on?

    welcome in some homeless folks who steal said free food
    Nuh uh! Can’t steal it if it’s free! BWAHAHAHAHA!!!

    NO IDEA of what is going on in the largest city in his state
    That’s literally just down the freeway from the capitol, too.

    explain to me why vietnam has had zero coronavirus deaths
    You might want to stop huffing the paint.

    Seattle Mayor Jenny Durkan
    Needs to be in a jail cell for conspiring to violate the rights of her constituents.

    What needs to happen is some folks need to set up a cordon around this place, allowing in no supplies of any sort. Then the electricity, water, cell phone (and landline), and all other utilities need to be shut off. Cell towers within range of the place need to be shut down (or blockers erected). All identified insurrectionists need to have their US bank accounts taxed at 101% (since they’re no longer part of America, we can call it a customs fee). I’m willing to allow anyone that desires to enter the place, but they have to surrender all American identification papers of any kind, as well as any goods they might be carrying (including arms – we have export laws about that sort of thing, you know).

    And then, we let them suffer. Anyone who can show they are a resident or business owner AND that they did not in any way aid or abet the terrorists, nor vote for those who have, will be allowed out. We can repay them for any losses out of the money confiscated from the no-longer-American-citizens’ accounts.

    Oh, and when they crack and surrender? No jail time. No, they are now non-Americans, actively engaged in war with us. GITMO for you, rebel. (Or exile to the People’s Paradise of Cuba. With an international bounty on their heads.)

    • SFC D says:

      I like the way you think. If they’re no longer US citizens, they no longer have ANY constitutional rights. They want to build a barricade, that’s fine. We’ll build one around their perimeter, seal them off and wait.

      This would be excellent on pay-per-view.

      • Scott says:

        Sounds about right GWB, if they did all you suggest, I’d expect it to completely devolve within 24 hours.
        One question Lisa, (I’m sure you have the answer already), where did all the “free” stuff come from??
        What happens to all the lawful property owners from the area? Is the city compensating them for their losses ? (yeah, I already know the answer to that one as well)
        Voters should be taking note, this is exactly what happens when you continue to elect leftists who will pander to any and all minority groups. Whatever happens, this will NOT end well…

      • Tim says:

        I would pay to watch that.
        Pass the popcorn

      • Kevin McCrory says:

        Brilliant. Reenact the Battle of Alesia.

      • Walter Ronten says:

        And I thought Escape From New York was just a trashy sci-fy action flick

    • Lee says:

      I’ve thought that, too, but am afraid they’d just burn it down when they leave.

  • NTSOG says:

    “… borders and guns are needed in a liberal, utopian society? ”

    Just like ‘die sogennante Deutche Demokratishe Republik’* which needed a wall through Berlin to stop people leaving the glorious People’s Utopia.

    * the so-called German democratic republic

  • GT says:

    It seems to me that the citizens of Chaz have renounced their citizenships and would need to apply for a Visa to re-enter the US. Time to set up check point Chaz and guard the other side of the border.

  • Jim Mason says:

    Is it just me, or are the democrats bringing back the Confederacy…..

  • Willard Fleetwood says:

    Ever notice there’s never a freikorps around when you really need one?

  • Pierce Wetter says:

    Y’all are taking the CHAZ way too seriously and buying into the media desire to make this something bigger than it is. It’s just some kids hanging out, they’ve run away from home (which means they’re camping out in the back yard)
    .

    They’re not worth confronting. Like the Branch Davidians, Confrontation gives them more importance than just ignoring them would. When there are a bunch of drama majors in the dorm common room watching TV you leave them alone.

    It’s actually ok if people choose to sleep in the streets and order every meal from A nearby Dominos.

  • Ygolonac says:

    “What happens when they need the police or the fire department, genius?”

    They already did. They called 911 and had to debarricade and let the fire truck in for…

    a *LITERAL* dumpster fire.

  • Ralph R Jaeger says:

    The San Andreas Fault cannot violently slip away soon enough!

  • I_Just_Work_Here says:

    “Y’all are taking the CHAZ way too seriously and buying into the media desire to make this something bigger than it is.” — Pierce Wetter

    This. Much of this has to be viewed through the lens of the local politics of Seattle. Mayor Jenny has an ongoing feud with council member Kshama. Democrat Jenny has tried to govern the city in typical democrat ways. Show you care, funnel city grants towards the sympathetic groups who got you elected while trying to remain in power. Doesn’t really fix any of the city’s problems, but doesn’t make them too much worse and avoids killing the goose laying the golden eggs. Kshama on the other hand is so far left that she doesn’t even register as a democrat. She really is a socialist revolutionary. The two have very publicly clashed on a variety of issues in recent years, most notably over the “Amazon Tax”. So when the CHAZ let it’s freak flag fly, Kshama did everything she could to support the useful idiots while simultaneously scoring every political point she could against Mayor Jenny for not controlling the situation. Until either some deal gets worked out between the mayor’s office and the city council, or conditions in the CHAZ deteriorate to actual gang violence, it is unlikely anybody will spend the political capital necessary to do something about the CHAZ.

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