It had become increasingly clear that Beto O’Rourke had exactly zero shot at the Democrat nomination. Today he made it official.

But even in defeat, Beto is busy talking about his own personal awesomeness and how much he loathes Donald Trump.

Though it is difficult to accept, it is clear to me now that this campaign does not have the means to move forward successfully. My service to the country will not be as a candidate or as the nominee. Acknowledging this now is in the best interests of those in the campaign; it is in the best interests of this party as we seek to unify around a nominee; and it is in the best interests of the country.
I decided to run for President because I believed that I could help bring a divided country together in common cause to confront the greatest set of challenges we’ve ever faced. I also knew that the most fundamental of them is fear — the fear that Donald Trump wants us to feel about one another; the very real fear that too many in this country live under; and the fear we sometimes feel when it comes to doing the right thing, especially when it runs counter to what is politically convenient or popular.

No, what Beto believed was his own press, and when the press adored him for taking on Ted Cruz, they ended up not loving him so much when he was just one in a sea of faces vying for the Democrat nomination. Plus, he’s obnoxious as hell.

But please be kind to his volunteers in Iowa, because they were still holding out hope that a 2% rating in the polls could lead straight to the top.

Before O’Rourke’s arrival, some volunteers began pulling lawn signs out of the ground. When a @CBSNews team converged to document this, a campaign staffer approached and asked that we stop and be “respectful” because the volunteers “are very vulnerable right now.”

— Ed O'Keefe (@edokeefe) November 1, 2019

I expect that Beto will be going back to New Mexico to ingest some more dirt, smoke a bowl, and play some chords on his guitar while contemplating the rest of his wealthy life any second now. I’ll let President Trump have the last word on Robert Francis “Beto” O’Rourke.

Oh no, Beto just dropped out of race for President despite him saying he was “born for this.” I don’t think so!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) November 1, 2019

Meanwhile, Kamala Harris is right on the edge of having to drop out herself. She just can’t believe that she isn’t doing so hot in this race – after all, she’s so intersectional! – and it must be the fault of racist and sexist bigots.

Sure, you keep telling yourself that, Kamala. Maybe Tulsi Gabbard can stop by and explain it to you.

Well, since the bigots aren’t paying the bills, Kamala Harris is having to cut her staff in New Hampshire.

Harris campaign officials confirmed to Fox News on Friday that all field staffers in the state have left the campaign and that only a “handful” of staff remains. The added that three field offices – in Keene, Nashua, and Portsmouth — have been shuttered. They said the state headquarters – in Manchester – will remain open with a small staff.

The move comes two days after top national officials for the senator from California announced they were restructuring and redeploying staffers from their headquarters in Baltimore and some of the early-voting states to Iowa, which kicks off the primary and caucus presidential nominating calendar. The campaign has been hemorrhaging money, spending more than what was coming in.

Harris is staking all her chips on a good showing in Iowa – and going into campaign debt while doing it. If that isn’t a metaphor for how she would run the country, I don’t know what is. But that Iowa caucus isn’t until February 3rd, and Kamala Harris is only polling at 3% in Iowa. How does her campaign manage to stay afloat for three more months if she’s blowing through campaign cash without anything to show for it?

So while you’re waving good-bye to Beto, it would be smart to be ready to say the same to Kamala Harris very soon. I’m sure we’ll all miss her annoying fake laugh and her stammering whenever she can’t think of an answer so, so much.

Featured image: Beto O’Rourke at a Los Angeles rally on April 27, 2019, photo by Luke Harold, public domain under CC0 1.0 Universal (CC0 1.0) Public Domain Dedication