We treat you this Sunday morning to the eloquent prose of Maureen Dowd’s update on former Speaker of The House, Nancy Pelosi.

After all, you all must want to know what Pelosi has been up to these past couple of weeks now that she’s been benched, don’t you? Here’s a spoiler: Nancy Pelosi is “Liberated and Loving It“.

It’s not a pretty sight when pols lose power. They wilt, they crumple, they cling to the vestiges, they mourn their vanished entourage and perks. How can their day in the sun be over? One minute they’re running the world and the next, they’re in the room where it doesn’t happen.”-Maureen Dowd, The New York Times

Oh, the drama! Newsflash, Maureen. Nancy Pelosi has been wilting and crumbling long before she stepped down from her speakership. Enough Botox to unwrinkle a shar pei could not prevent that amount of wilt and sag. Moving right along.

I went to lunch with Nancy Pelosi at the Four Seasons to find out how she was faring, now that she has gone from being one of the most powerful women in the world — second in line to the presidency — and one of the most formidable speakers in American history to a mere House backbencher.

I was expecting King Lear, howling at the storm, but I found Gene Kelly, singing in the rain.“-Maureen Dowd, The New York Times

So far, this interview sounds like it could come out of a geriatric version of Sex And The City. Maureen and Nancy are the “ladies who do lunch” at The Four Seasons. Over pink vodka martinis, Maureen compliments Nancy on her pink pantsuit and her pink, suede, Jimmy Choo stilettos. Dowd is secretly drooling at an opportunity to report that Nancy was “crying in her soup” because, hey, she’s an opportunistic journalist, but is pleasantly surprised when she finds Nancy shoving her face with truffles and hashtag, living her best life. Why wouldn’t she be? Pelosi has lived on the government dole for years. She’s made a career of living off the backs of working Americans. How nice for her that she can afford to be footloose and fancy-free in her designer shoes?

Truth is, Nancy Pelosi cried in her soup in an epic temper tantrum for four years when Donald Trump was at the helm. She allowed hat three-ring circus to happen. She was indeed the Ringmaster.

Still, Maureen Dowd persists. She is talking-girl-to-girl with Nancy Pelosi:

I wonder, Maureen, girl to girl, I keep thinking I should feel a little more, I don’t know.”-Nancy Pelosi

See my above Botox comment. And, honestly, perhaps Nancy Pelosi should have felt a little more during a time that was so damaging to the average American trying to make a living. How quickly she forgets about how she ate $12-dollar ice cream from a $25 thousand-dollar fridge on YouTube when other people were struggling to keep their businesses open or to work to pay their rent. That’s right. Ice cream in the freezer is better than Lysol in the lungs or something. How quickly she forgets the crime and filth-ridden district of which Nancy Pelosi was a part.

Still, Maureen Dowd bloviates over Nancy Pelosi just like one would expect a New York Times, Pulitzer Prize-winning, Beltway crony would. Nancy Pelosi is “satin and steel”, according to fellow California lawmaker, Anna Eshoo. And, Nancy Pelosi is a faithful, God-fearing, devout Catholic who is “praying” for her successor. She believes in the power of prayer (except for the unborn). She even believes in ridding spaces of evil demons and exorcisms. Hopefully, she wasn’t near any of the priests when they performed the one on her house after her husband’s attack. We may have seen Nancy’s head doing a 360 and some pea-green soup to cry in then.

Still, Maureen Dowd’s account of Nancy Pelosi post speakership rolls on. As Nancy pops chocolates into her mouth, (thank God for Poligrip), Nancy’s 52 year-old daughter, Alexandra, is busy plugging away her upcoming HBO documentary on her mother.

I’ve never seen her crack. It’s in her DNA. She doesn’t cry, she doesn’t whine, she doesn’t throw tantrums. Her motto is, as the Marines say, ‘Embrace the suck.’”-Alexandra Pelosi

You can’t crack if you’re already busted up and broken, Alex. Just saying. And, your mom should refrain from using any phrase that a United States Marine would utter. The truth is, we Americans have been embracing the suck for a few years now. Thanks, in part, to your mother.

Speaking of suck, Nancy Pelosi sounds off on the leadership of O’Biden-Bama:

They connected with the American people in different ways. ‘Obama in a more Obama-esque way’ — here she waved her hand over her head — ‘and Joe in a real regular-Joe way’ — here she waved her hand over her heart. ‘Both of them are quite wonderful’.-Maureen Dowd, The New York Times

I guess there is no way to really describe the type of leadership we are experiencing now. Biden, according to Pelosi, is all heart. There are certainly no brains involved here.

Maureen Dowd, friend of Nancy Pelosi, walks out of The Four Seasons. Two elitists, thick as thieves. She asks Pelosi what is the next chapter:

I was a woman of great power, and now I’ll be a woman of great influence.”-Nancy Pelosi

Great influence, huh? Kiss her ring given to her by Afghan artisan women she was “deeply concerned” about. When I think of Nancy Pelosi uttering the words “great influence“, the theme from The Godfather kicks off on loop in my head. That is the influence this woman aims to have. Better call in the priests, again. Not today, Satan!

Photo Credit: Original Artwork by VG, Darleen Click

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