The transcript of James Comey’s testimony before congressional lawmakers dropped on Saturday, and it appears that Comey is becoming Sgt Schultz. In other words, he saw nothing, he heard nothing, and he knows nothing.

Credit: giphy.com.

For example, when lawmakers asked Comey who drafted the FBI document in July, 2016, which started the Russia investigation, Comey said he didn’t know who it was. Nor did he know that anti-Trump FBI official Peter Strzok was involved, either.

Okay, then. Did the FBI have any evidence that the Trump campaign conspired to hack into the DNC computers? Here’s how Comey replied:

“I don’t think that the FBI and special counsel want me answering questions that may relate to their investigation of Russian interference during 2016. And I worry that that would cross that line.”

Another sidestep. As for knowledge about the infamous Steele dossier — Comey went Sgt Schultz on that, too. He didn’t know that the law firm Perkins Coie — a firm hired by the DNC — had hired Fusion GPS, the source of the dossier. Moreover, Comey didn’t know much about spy-turned-DNC hack Christopher Steele, either. He didn’t know when the FBI fired Steele as an FBI source. Even worse, Comey didn’t know that Steele was still feeding info to Justice Department official Bruce Ohr even after being fired.

And then there were the anti-Trump lovebirds, Peter Strozk and Lisa Page. Sgt Schultz — er, James Comey — said he didn’t know about their “we’ll stop Trump” text messages. Nor did he know they were having an affair. But if he had known. . .

‘They wouldn’t have remained part of the investigation.” 

However. . .

“I never saw any indication of anything but the facts and the law from those people.”

Geez, these were senior FBI officials, and Comey didn’t know?

But Sgt Schultz just couldn’t believe that Peter Strzok — being one of a handful of people investigating the Trump team in 2016 — wouldn’t have taken the opportunity to undermine Trump the candidate.

“[Strzok] also was one of the handful of people in the entire world who knew we were investigating four Americans who had some connection to Mr. Trump during the summer of 2016, and he didn’t tell a soul.”

“So it’s hard to reconcile that with his being on Team Clinton.”

Oh, and bears don’t. . . . well, you know.

In case you’re wondering how many times Sgt Schultz Comey claimed ignorance on the questions lawmakers posed to him, the answer is 245 times.

Some factoids from the Comey interview. Comey said he "didn't remember" 71 times. "Didn't know" 166 times. "I don't recall" 8 times. Also, not a lot of discussion about Clinton's emails as Comey suggested in the hallway yesterday. Comey to return for a 2nd session on Dec 17

— Chad Pergram (@ChadPergram) December 8, 2018

Consider that Hillary Clinton told the FBI she “could not recall” information about her server about 21 times — and she’s supposed to be the Queen of DeNile (see what I did there?).

It was so frustrating that Rep. Matt Gaetz called Comey’s testimony “selective amnesia.” Another lawmaker joked that Comey had developed dementia after conveniently remembering “enough facts to sell his book.”

Rep. Darrell Issa had a front row seat for Comey’s Amensia Tour:

Oh, but this all gets worse.

What Comey does remember is enough to give you heartburn. Because James Comey confessed that the FBI had not corroborated the evidence in the Steele dossier before handing it off to a secret court. Had to get that FISA warrant to spy on Carter Page, a Trump campaign adviser.

Moreover, that dossier remained uncorroborated more than six months later after President Trump fired James Comey.

This is what many GOP lawmakers have been harping about. Candidate Hillary Clinton and Democrat operatives bought an unverified dossier which they used to justify spying on candidate Trump.

James Comey is either the most corrupt FBI head since J. Edgar Hoover, or the dumbest schmuck to ever head up that agency. And yet Comey recently tweeted that acting Attorney General Matt Whitaker wasn’t the “shapest knife in the drawer.”

Comey may no longer be top dog at the FBI, but if they ever remake the old TV series Hogan’s Heroes, he’d be a shoo-in to play the bumbling Sgt Schultz. It’d be perfect typecasting.

Featured image: Brand X Studio.