Donald Trump has apparently entered the rename-everything portion of his presidency, and former Republican Congressman Charlie Dent is very concerned about it.

Dent thinks Trump’s recent social media posts about calling New Mexico “New America” are bizarre, distracting and possibly hurting Republicans ahead of the midterms. Maybe. Or maybe after all these years Charlie Dent still hasn’t figured out that telling Donald Trump something is ridiculous is practically begging him to do it again.

LMAO 🤣 President Trump actually posted a video of him changing New Mexico State to New America

THIS WOULD BE ABSOLUTELY EPIC 🔥 pic.twitter.com/KJrgnlQQAs

— MAGA Voice (@MAGAVoice) September 7, 2026

And really, who didn’t see that coming?

The funniest part is that Trump didn’t even come up with New America. The whole thing started as a satirical post falsely claiming he’d signed an executive order changing the state’s name. Fact-checkers swooped in to explain that no, Trump had not renamed New Mexico, which probably should have been the end of it.

Donald Trump has signed an executive order to change the name of New Mexico to New America. pic.twitter.com/r2ABEf6Ns8

— Daily Noud (@DailyNoud) September 1, 2026

This is the same man who looked at the Gulf of Mexico and decided it would sound better as the Gulf of America. Then Lake Ontario became Lake America. Now somebody has handed him New America, and apparently we have reached the point where anything on the map is fair game.

And right on cue, South Park decided to get in on it.

Come On, Now That’s Funny

Creators of South Park America, Trey Parker and Matt Stone, have decided that if we’re doing this, we’re doing it properly. Ahead of the 29th season of South Park, the show’s creators announced that South Park will now be South America.

Following their Emmy win for Outstanding Animated Program, South Park is making a big change. Creators Trey Parker & Matt Stone announce:

“Inspired by the bravery and patriotism of Apple and Google, we are changing the name of South Park to SOUTH AMERICA. We especially want to… pic.twitter.com/nRkNaoUSVp

— South America (@SouthPark) September 8, 2026

There Are So Many Possibilities

Once New Mexico becomes New America and South Park becomes South America, you can’t just stop there. There are far too many things wandering around this country with suspiciously foreign names.

Canada Dry is obviously American Dry, which actually sounds like something Trump would slap on a can and serve at a Cabinet meeting.

My sources have told me that Trump is planning on changing the ginger ale name Canada Dry to America Dry. pic.twitter.com/KgkKtDk3pp

— Dr. Jebra Faushay (@JebraFaushay) August 31, 2026

Canadian bacon becomes American Ham, because we’re not going to let Canada take credit for a perfectly good piece of pork.

French toast becomes American Toast, English muffins become American Breakfast Muffins, and Belgian waffles become American Waffles, because there is absolutely no reason breakfast should have this much foreign influence.

Then we can move on to the states.

New England becomes New America East, New York becomes Newer America, New Jersey becomes America With Tolls, and Rhode Island can finally stop pretending it needs that many syllables and become Tiny America.

The French Quarter becomes the American Quarter, Niagara Falls becomes America Falls, and if I were British Columbia, I wouldn’t draw attention to myself right now.

Naturally, The UN Has Made This Even Better

While Trump is apparently trying to see how many times he can fit the word America onto one map, the United Nations has wandered into the middle of this and decided the maps themselves need some work.

The UN has decided the maps most of us grew up with make some countries look bigger than they really are and others look smaller. Africa, for example, is actually much bigger compared to North America than it looks on the old maps, so the UN wants schools, governments and others to start using maps that show the sizes more accurately.

But the timing is hilarious, because while Trump is busy putting “America” on more of the map, the UN has basically come along and said America looks too big already.

The vote was 164–1, and I’ll give you one guess which country voted no.

Yep. America.

Charlie, You’re Only Encouraging Him

Dent says Americans are going to look at all of this and wonder what Trump is doing, but by now it should be fairly obvious. He pokes people, waits for the reaction, sees what gets everybody worked up and then keeps the joke going.

The New America thing started as somebody else’s satire, for crying out loud. Trump didn’t run away from the joke. He picked it up and joined in. Why is this still so refreshing?

There’s something deeply American about being able to handle serious business, work our tails off, and still find something to laugh about along the way.

There are plenty of serious things going on in the world, and we cover those every day around here. But sometimes a ridiculous thing is just a ridiculous thing, and watching everyone fight over what we’re calling lakes, gulfs, states and now cartoon towns is pretty funny.

So Charlie Dent can worry about the midterms, the UN can keep working on its maps, South Park can enjoy its new life as South America, and the fact-checkers can keep refreshing Truth Social.

Feature Image: AI generated illustration.