Guest Opinion: Migrant Real Estate Notice – Carl Schurz Park

Guest Opinion: Migrant Real Estate Notice – Carl Schurz Park

Guest Opinion: Migrant Real Estate Notice – Carl Schurz Park

“Attention Border State Governors: Carl Schurz Park adjacent to Gracie Mansion on the Upper East Side of Manhattan may well be able to accommodate 5 to 10 very special new arrivals to the City of New York.

Although winters in Sanctuary City New York can be unpleasant, hundreds of thousands of migrants have already made the Big Apple their home without resorting to sleeping on cardboard mats over Manhattan’s numerous hot-air grates. And five to ten more families might take up a comfortable residence both outside Gracie Mansion and within its gates as well. Consider the park as a “Publicly Gated Community.”



Do not let this formidable wall deter you—despite some unfortunate recent remarks the Mayor of New York, aka Hizzoner does in fact welcome Illegal Migrants to New York. Once within, the Gracie Mansion wall exists to protect you from possible unsavory elements who shoot innocent people in the head in the outer boroughs and the occasional  obstreperous straphangers in the NYC subway who stab people to death in order to perhaps get better seating accommodations in the train car.

Whether within the walls of Gracie Mansion or withoutin any eventtry to avoid the Mayor’s tent city on nearby Randall’s Island . This locale is simply too remote and secluded to offer you the entertainment and dining experiences Manhattan is justly famous for.

The pleasant atmosphere of Carl Schurz Park cannot be overstated. But city history may serve as a guide and inspiration. In August 1999, the statue of Peter Pan pictured above and in greater detail at the linkdisappeared.

In a scandalous act of vandalism, the statue was dislodged from its base, and finally recovered by the New York Police Department from the bottom of the East River. As usual in New York City the perpetrators were not found, indeed, as Parks Commissioner Stern said at the time, “We thought his only enemy was Captain Hook.”

To her credit, Celia Lipton Farris, a British actress who had played Peter Pan on the stage, contributed funds toward the restoration and more secure reinstallation of the sculpture in 1999. As a public service the newly arrived migrant families could dedicate themselves to guarding the statue for future generations.

It is worth noting that in the 23 ensuing years since the statue was vandalized, the city’s crime problem has by in large, managed to exclude Carl Schurz Park, while Gracie Mansion and Yorkville remain one of the safest neighborhoods in Manhattan.

“Migrant Real Estate Notice” will return next week with another attractive locale.

Hat Tip VDH for giving Madame X the idea: Martha’s meltdown model – Victor Davis Hanson (



Today’s Guest Opinion satire writer is an anonymous person who chose the nom de plume of “Madam X”. She declined providing a bio at this time.

Featured Photos are “The Peter Pan Statue” in Carl Schurz Park and “Gracie Mansion” from Wikipedia, used by Public Domain and Dmadeo (slightly cropped), respectively.



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