The only thing remotely interesting about this Democrat Town Hall is that the candidates don’t have to talk to each other. Instead, we get unfiltered craziness from each candidate without a 30 second response from another one.

Every questioner is clearly sympathetic to the Democrats, and that’s fine, it’s their primary. Unfortunately, it makes it a snoozefest for the rest of us.

Now, to recap each candidate.

Bernie Sanders:
Got to hand it to the old socialist. At least he is brutally honest with what he wants. If he is elected, Bernie promises to eliminate private health insurance premiums (which eliminates private health insurance, of course) and give everyone universal health care – in exchange for higher taxes, of course.

.@BernieSanders explains why he will be raising taxes: https://t.co/rvZtDybOgC #DemTownHall https://t.co/qjl2KUsRfa

— CNN (@CNN) January 26, 2016

And he promises more money for Planned Parenthood, as if that herald of Molech doesn’t get enough money already.

.@BernieSanders says he wants to expand funding for Planned Parenthood https://t.co/rvZtDybOgC #DemTownHall https://t.co/Oy2YtgXo9j

— CNN (@CNN) January 26, 2016

And why does Bernie think he’s so popular?

.@BernieSanders: We need bold changes, we need a political revolution #DemTownHall https://t.co/rvZtDybOgC https://t.co/u7S6FvyeTz

— CNN (@CNN) January 26, 2016

Or maybe it’s because millennials have mistaken Bernie Sanders for Santa Claus. After all, he’s promised them everything and a pony once he’s president.

Martin O’Malley:
Would you please go now?

Did the moderator just ask O'Malley who his supporters should vote for when he *inevitably* drops out? #DemTownHall pic.twitter.com/itn4GQOIyj

— AJ+ (@ajplus) January 26, 2016

All ten of his supporters? At this point, O’Malley is on his knees, praying every night that Hillary Clinton is indicted. It would be his only chance of cracking 10% in the polls. Because THIS is what he believes is the most important issue EVER.

The biggest issue for young people? @MartinOMalley says it's climate change #DemTownHall https://t.co/rvZtDybOgC https://t.co/PoDu15ZLmh

— CNN (@CNN) January 26, 2016

Forget terrorism, forget ISIS, forget the economy, forget the state of chaos that you left Baltimore in – let’s work on climate change!

Hillary Clinton:
This is Hillary’s chance to not look like a robot Grandma. However, she just can’t seem to connect with those young people who are so enchanted with Bernie. Of course, it’s the Republicans’ fault that kids like Bernie more than her, because they’re so mean and “throw stuff” at her. (She also unhelpfully reminds everyone in the audience that she’s really old. She means it to be funny, but it backfires on her. Reagan she is not.)

She also tries to play the gender card, while reminding everyone how closely tied she is to Obama.

Clinton: Obama said I did everything he did, but backwards in high heels #DemTownHall https://t.co/oZz0jUmo8i https://t.co/lB6jshB6id

— CNN (@CNN) January 26, 2016

And this sounds bad. Unwanted physical contact forced upon people is usually considered assault.

.@HillaryClinton: I'll give Republicans bear hugs “whether they like it or not” https://t.co/rvZtDybOgC #DemTownHall https://t.co/XEiN4HqbI5

— CNN (@CNN) January 26, 2016

In short, we got nothing new except to highlight the divide between Bernie and Hillary. Bernie promises all the kids that their lives will be easy and everything will be free – just give the government half your $15/hour minimum wage paycheck. Hillary asks them to vote for Obama’s third term in the guise of huggable old Grandma.

I hope the Democrats are enjoying their options right about now, because this sounds just about like Grandma and Grandpa arguing over how best to spend the parents’ salary on spoiling the grandkids.