Covid aid happy dance!! That is what what Chuck Schumer has been involved in since yesterday afternoon. You see, the whole zillion plus Covid relief bill that helps literally no one, was passed yesterday.

“But 12 hours later, it was Schumer, D-N.Y., reveling in the last word, an unabashedly upbeat “help is on the way” to Americans suffering through the pandemic and lockdowns as the Senate prepared to approve the massive package without a single GOP vote.

Senate passage of the sweeping relief bill Saturday puts President Joe Biden’s top priority closer to becoming law, poised to unleash billion for vaccines, $1,400 direct payments and other aid, and shows Schumer, in his first big test as majority leader, can unify the ever-so-slim Democratic majority and deliver the votes.

“Lessons learned: If we have unity, we can do big things,” Schumer told The Associated Press in an interview after the vote.

The outcome “gives us optimism about doing more big things in the future — because it worked,” he said.

WOOHOO!! That’s AWESOME! We all get our money back! All the restaurants, all the gig workers, all the restaurant staff, all those who’ve been laid off…we get our money back! That means the $1.9 trillion COVID relief bill is directing at least half of the bill towards those who need it most?

Hey, Jeff Bezos, come pick up your newspaper, it’s drunk again…

— Carol Roth (@caroljsroth) March 7, 2021

Uhhh…about that. Chuck Schumer is promising VERY BIG THINGS now that this bill is on its way to becoming law. What kind of big things? 

Kill the GIG economy. Permanently.

“A last-minute insert by Democrats looking to offset the cost of their coronavirus aid package would send tax collectors into the gig economy, eventually costing Uber and DoorDash drivers, Airbnb hosts and others about $1 billion annually.

Under current law, such online platforms only have to report to the IRS when they pay individuals at least 200 times a year, for a minimum $20,000. The change inserted into a managers’ amendment just before House floor debate on the $1.9 trillion measure would cut that threshold to $600, regardless of how many transactions, generating an estimated $8.4 billion in extra tax revenue through fiscal 2031.

AB5 on bad steroids.

Chuck Schumer is doing a Covid Aid Happy Dance and he needs to be Gibbs slapped to the ground. Here’s what this one portion of the bill will do to a significant portion of the economy. What part? The gig economy.

A last-minute insert by Democrats looking to offset the cost of their coronavirus aid package would send tax collectors into the gig economy, eventually costing Uber and DoorDash drivers, Airbnb hosts and others about $1 billion annually. https://t.co/MpcTeR7Say

— Roll Call (@rollcall) March 5, 2021

Airbnb reservations: That cute little house or bread & breakfast you want to book? Increase prices by 20%. 

DoorDash/Grubhub: I’d say a 10% increase in charges

Graphic & Web designers: Minimum 20% increase in prices

Event planners: Profits cut by at least 1/3

Speechwriters: taxed into oblivion 

Nanny: I can’t even

Business consultant: Fees will go up at least 40% to compensate

Don’t forget those who are concert security who keep both concert goers and the band themselves safe, they’ll have to charge more. 

What about those wonderful hair/makeup artists who do special events, do makeup for movie stars, and who do weddings? Yep, they’ll get hit with MORE taxes as well. 

Is this what Chuck promised about BIG THINGS? I guess so. 

There’s a positive regarding this vote. It’s another small positive with big ramifications. It’s that the Democrats lost the $15 wage fight. They lost it with several Democrats breaking party ranks and voting NO. Arizona’s Kirsten Sinema has garnered praise and derision for her vote. Quite frankly, I don’t give a rats ass as to how she dramatically voted. What I do care about is that it seem she understands an arbitrary federal ruling on what minimum wage is supposed to be is unworkable. 

“While Democratic leaders expressed disappointment in the decision by the chamber’s nonpartisan rules arbiter, it saved them from an intraparty dispute on the floor. During Friday’s marathon voting session, eight Democrats opposed a bid by Sanders to raise the hourly wage to $15 by 2025.

Democrats “might have avoided a tough fight” over the wage, said Sen. Tim Kaine (D-Va.), who supports the $15 increase and observed that “we’ve not had a single caucus discussion” about the issue since he was elected.

Chuck Schumer’s tone deaf happy dance included promising everything while telling us nothing.

Yeah, whatever he said. The thing is, what has been passed and more than likely will be signed into law will be a piece of legislation that is one thousand percent worse than the cure. 

Oh wait, I get it. Chuck wants to do super big things that will tank our Republic all so he can preen and say he stuck it to the Man! 

“This is the hardest job I’ve ever had. But I have more energy for it and more excitement about it,” said Schumer, who also faces reelection in 2022 and a possible progressive primary challenge. “It’s so much more satisfying to get something done here than prevent McConnell from doing so.”

Isn’t that so special? 

Gang Of Masked Bandits Steals Another Few Trillion From Your Grandchildrenhttps://t.co/cbwEHhPNOJ

— The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) March 6, 2021

Chuck Schumer is thrilled to do a happy dance. Why? Because there are too many weak kneed Republicans and somewhat independent Democrats in Congress who’d rather vote the party line instead of voting their conscience on behalf of their constituency as Kirsten Sinema did. 

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Feature Photo Credit: Chuck Schumer protesting Justice Barrett, Gage Skidmore via Flickr, cropped and modified