We here at Victory Girls just love feminists. Not because we agree with their miserable self-absorption. No, it’s because these gals (see what I did there?) are The Gifts that Keep on Giving.

So I’d like to honor their contributions to the Feminist Theater of the Absurd by noting the top Feminist Fails of 2017.

Let’s start, shall we?

Chelsea Handler. She thinks she’s all it and a bucket of chicken as a feminist comic. However, Handler has not learned that acting like a bitter hag doesn’t exactly make one funny. But her hatred for Donald Trump overrides any sense of comic styling she might have possessed at one time. So she posts stupid stuff on Twitter, like “Donald Trump is setting the world on fire. Literally and figuratively,” and calling Press Secretary Sarah Sanders “Biscuit Face.” Because making inane comments about devastating fires and poking fun at another woman’s looks are sure to advance the cause of women.

Jessica Valenti. Valenti, founder of the blog Feministing, is kind of the opposite to Chelsea Handler, because while Chelsea thinks she’s funny, Jessica considers herself an intellectual. So she gives us such logic as thinking an abortion is akin to ‘donating a kidney.’ She also responded to an innocuous proposal by Sen. Ben Sasse for parents to put their kids to work over the summer by equating it with racism, or classism. Or whatever. Jessica’s brain droppings have given us so many WTF moments this past year. I’m sure we’ll be seeing more in 2018.

A Day Without Women Campaign. In March, some feminists promoted the idea of having a “Day Without Women.” They thought that it would be just awesome to show how indispensable women are in the workplace by holding a strike. So some school districts — no doubt trying to suck up to their teachers’ unions — decided to participate with the Sisterhood. Problem is, they didn’t think it through. Most teachers are . . . wait for it. . . women! Consequently, lots of districts were forced to close, leaving other working women with the dilemma of where to send their children. Way to go, there, morons!

Lena Dunham. She lends 21st century meaning to the classic line from the 1978 comedy Animal House: “Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life.” Yet Lena persists. This past year the Girls director and star became such a ginormous gaffe machine that even Vanity Fair noticed. For example, at the Met Gala earlier this year, Dunham sat next to New York Giants player Odell Beckham, Jr., but — shocker! — he wasn’t attracted to her. Now usually you see a glamorous woman on the arm of a football star, not a frumpy girl who dresses like a four-year-old and is shaped like a sack of potatoes. But Lena blamed — you guessed it — sexism! “It was like he looked at me and he determined I was not the shape of a woman by his standards,” she whined. Oh, keep it up, Lena. You’re too much fun.

Kathy Griffin. Ah, yes, another deluded feminist “comedienne” who thinks she’s funny. Remember the little stunt she pulled this past year? She held up a bloody model head of President Trump as some sort of profound ‘artistic statement.’ As if. Now she’s whining that she can’t get a stand-up gig in the US. Boo freakin’ hoo.

Finally, the crowning glory of 2017’s Feminist Fails belongs to. . . drum roll, please. . .

Women’s Marches. Yes, because nothing says “I’m a woman, treat me with respect!” like wearing a pink pussy hat. Or a giant genitalia costume. And then by marching in such getup in public. Yet that’s how feminists greeted the inauguration of President Trump. They looked like this:

And this. . .

They also listened to intellectual heavyweights like this:

Yaassss, it’s been so much fun this past year, hasn’t it? Keep it up, girls! We love the material. Those jokes just write themselves.