Governor Jay Inslee, Democrat, has just declared himself a candidate for President. If you live outside of Washington state, you are probably asking yourself, “Who is this fool?”

If you live inside Washington state (as I do), you are probably groaning and saying, “Oh Lord, spare us the embarrassment this fool is about to bring down on us all.”

Jay Inslee is running on being the 2020 election’s version of Al Gore. Thrilling, right? Inslee is a single-issue candidate, and he is all about the “climate change.” It is his raison d’être. Unfortunately, Jay Inslee only has 1/4th of Al Gore’s personal charisma. So, Inslee sounds exactly like your high school English teacher who droned on about saving the whales on weekend kayaking trips.

Here’s why Inslee has a snowball’s chance in hell of being the Democrat nominee for president.
1) Inslee is dull as dishwater.
In a field full of better speakers and better origin stories (though not better candidates), Inslee, who is 68 years old, is simply an old white guy with zero points on the intersectionality scale. At least Bernie Sanders is mildly entertaining to watch when he’s fired up. Jay Inslee has two speeds – off, and slow-motion. Not exactly the most dynamic candidate the Democrats could offer up.

2) Jay Inslee has a record of zero accomplishment in Washington state.
The rumors have persisted for years (though never spoken aloud by media) that Inslee is lazy. More likely, he saw being governor of Washington state as a stepping-stone to running for president. Inslee is no Washington D.C. outsider, though – he spent nearly 16 years back in Washington D.C. as a congressman, and you’d better believe that he wants to go back. Washington state has been controlled by Democrats for over 30 years (the last Republican governor left office in 1985), and it was Inslee’s turn to be governor, according to the state Democrat party powers-that-be. While Washington state has no term limits for governor, each recent Democrat has served two terms and then gotten out of the way for the next Democrat. Current Attorney General Bob Ferguson, a much more vile and dangerous partisan than Inslee, is currently waiting in the wings to be the next governor.

But Inslee has been a completely ineffective governor on his signature issue – climate change. He has backed a “carbon tax” both at the polls and in the legislature. The voters of Washington state, who are able to do the math, voted down the new punitive taxing scheme TWICE, most recently just this last November. And it didn’t just barely lose. But that’s not going to stop Jay Inslee from asking to INCREASE ALL THE TAXES.

Washington Governor Jay Inslee called for a 21 percent increase in the state budget over the next two years funding new dollars into schools, mental health programs, and environmental policies, including funding to support orca recovery. https://t.co/DqaJVnDm2n pic.twitter.com/CApS0wUTNd

— KING 5 News (@KING5Seattle) December 14, 2018

Save the whales! And the children! Raise all the taxes!

I would beg the Democrats to nominate this fool, but I know what is coming is potentially much more vicious and cruel.

3) Inslee has zero name recognition nationally.
The polls are not kind to Governor Inslee, despite his repeated appearances on left-wing news shows, out-of-state travel, and telling Bill Maher that Washington state has the best marijuana. No, really. He said that.

Washington state Gov. Jay Inslee to Bill Maher: ‘We’ve got the best weed’ https://t.co/ESY1mlYOD1 via @seattletimes

— Mike Lindblom (@MikeLindblom) April 23, 2018

Despite all this, no one outside of the state knows or cares who he is.

Poll: Gov. Jay Inslee has zero percent support for president https://t.co/sQh9TGszTR

— (((Jason Rantz))) on KTTH Radio (@jasonrantz) March 1, 2019

In short, candidate Jay Inslee is a big fat ZERO.

Now, here’s why the Democrats SHOULD nominate Inslee as their candidate.
1) The presidential debates will be epically hilarious.
You see, Inslee is not an extemporaneous speaker, which is why he hammers on his poll-tested catchphrases. Seriously, just count how many times he says “climate change” in his speeches, ads, and interviews. When you can’t speak off the cuff, you are doomed as a debater. Donald Trump would embarrass Jay Inslee on a debate platform so badly, that honestly, tickets should be sold, and it should be broadcast on Pay-Per-View, and it could be billed as “murder mystery dinner theater.” Except there would be no mystery on “whodunnit.” Jay Inslee is not a major-league player. He’s hit the Triple-A ceiling, and he can’t rise any higher.

So why is Jay Inslee running for president?

He wants to go back to Washington D.C., he has to get out of Bob Ferguson’s way in Washington state, and he figures that running for president will raise his national profile enough to land him a cabinet position in a Democrat administration. So, just like all the other bottom-tier candidates, he wants a cookie and a seat at the table later.

Do yourself a favor, America, and point and laugh at this inept fool. Don’t let him anywhere near the Oval Office.

Featured image: Governor Jay Inslee (official portrait taken by Heather Davis on January 9, 2017, via Flickr, cropped, CC BY-ND 2.0)