James Comey may need to give up book tours and speaking engagements for five years (at least) behind bars.

Today was not a fairy tale for James Comey. The former FBI Director has been indicted and faces federal charges in one of Trump’s “largest grievances” (says CNN): the 2016 investigation into whether his first presidential campaign colluded with Russia.

But Comey wasn’t, to quote his crush, T-Swizzle, “talkin’ sh#t, for the hell of it”. He was straight-up infected with TDS and the desire to take Trump down. Still is. But according to some media outlets, the indictment is “Trump induced”. Meaning, Comey has absolutely zero culpability (according to The New York Times).

Pressure campaign, my ass. He’s the Chief Executive and DOJ is an executive agency, you cretins.

— Michael James (@MichaelPlaysGit) September 25, 2025

NBC News also states there was “pressure from Trump” to indict. What’s next for Comey?

Comey took to Instagram to share his thoughts:

My family and I have known for years that there are costs to standing up to Donald Trump, but we couldn’t imagine ourselves living any other way. We will not live on our knees, and you shouldn’t either.

My heart is broken for the Department of Justice, but I have great confidence in the federal judicial system. I’m innocent, so let’s have a trial and keep the faith.”-James Comey

We have always known Comey to try and paint himself as a white knight in this tale. His heart breaks. The sanctimoneous dialogue. We do think some of the Democrats are getting a little scared, which is, I’m not going to lie, quite amusing.

Oh, now you care about weaponizing DOJ?
You sat silent while Comey, Clapper, and Brennan turned federal power into a political hit squad.

Now one of your own gets indicted and suddenly you're clutching the Constitution like it's a teddy bear.

Nervous yet, Adam?

— Desiree (@DesireeAmerica4) September 26, 2025

Liberal media outlets are trying to paint Comey as a martyr for the judicial system, a victim of the utter tyranny Donald Trump represents. It does not matter that Comey lied and mishandled Classified information. They are spinning up the narrative to depict him as an advocate and warrior for law and for order. A saint. A warrior for justice. It also helps that Comey is narcissistic enough to paint himself in this light as well. After all, no one is above the law, amiright?

But Senator pic.twitter.com/2V1Spr210Z

— BPaul ™️‍☠️ (@JeepPrairie) September 26, 2025

Today, your FBI took another step in its promise of full accountability. For far too long, previous corrupt leadership and their enablers weaponized federal law enforcement, damaging once proud institutions and severely eroding public trust. Every day, we continue the fight to earn that trust back, and under my leadership, this FBI will confront the problem head-on. Nowhere was this politicization of law enforcement more blatant than during the Russiagate hoax, a disgraceful chapter in history we continue to investigate and expose. Everyone, especially those in positions of power, will be held to account – no matter their perch. No one is above the law.”-FBI Director, Kash Patel

The Daily Beast is cute, though. They say Comey has been the “target of Donald Trump’s attacks for years” like Donald Trump was never a target for any attacks-at all. Remember, Russia, Russia, Russia? Who was attacking who, anyway?

As far as who will see the criminal case, U.S. District Judge Michael Nachmanoff, a 2021 appointee of President Joe Biden, was randomly assigned the task.

We will see how this plays out, but karma is (AHEM) sweet like justice, it’s the Crossfire Hurricane thunder, like rattling the ground, on Comey’s scent like a bounty hunter…

No more hiding in the drapes, Jimmy. You’re in plain sight now, bro. Better get your Taylor Swift hits on repeat because you’re going to need them.

Shoulda kept your side of the street clean, Jimmy. You wouldn’t know what I mean.

Why, yes, (snicker) Karma is a relaxing thought.

Featured image: Sen. Mark Warner via Wikimedia, cropped, Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic