As I write this post, it’s three o’clock in the morning Eastern Daylight Time and some mouth breathing maroon is on the floor of the U.S. Senate explaining to the fixed camera why baby murdering is good and green house gases and The Federalist Society are bad. Actually, the maroon is the Senior Senator from Hawaii, one Brian Schatz. Crikey Hawaii, your Senators are Brian Schatz and Mazie Hirono. Wow, I have no words for how lame your Senators are. According to Schatz, this is a dark day for women, people of color and the economically disadvantaged. Why? Because that evil partisan hack, alleged rapist, flasher, woman drugger and beer drinker Brett Kavanaugh will be confirmed to the Supreme Court today. “Gloom, despair and agony” will rule the land hereafter.

He’s not the only one splaining his vote. “The Atlantic.com” took snippets the floor speeches of six U.S. Senators, including the lame-o Mazie Hirono, regarding their votes. And, then I added one more for seven. Let’s take a little look, okay?

Your Seven Senate Speakers

1. Kamala Harris (Drooling butt kisser, CA) – claimed the #MeToo movement and partisan hack memes:

There was a perception about domestic violence, that I hope we have gotten beyond, but there was a perception about domestic violence: oh, you know, what happens in the king’s castle is the king’s business. That’s private business. That’s not our business. But then we evolved as a society and we realized, no, if she’s walking around with a black eye or a busted lip, that’s everybody’s business.

And:

Judge Kavanaugh has made it very clear to the American public that he is biased, that he is receiving information and perceives it through the lens of a partisan and through the lens of the person he has been his entire career, which is a partisan operative.

And:

Kamala is sad. Sad, sad Kamala.

2. John Cornyn (Ray of Sunshine, TX) – And the “Must be a Pony in there Somewhere” award goes to! Yes. The Senate is devolving into the Venezuelan toilet paper market and Cornyn sees the Sun shining through:

Now, I actually think in some ways our colleagues who called for a one-week delay have done us a favor, because every lead that could be followed has been followed and exhausted, and as the majority leader was saying earlier, in America, under our constitutional system where we don’t presume that you’re guilty and require you to prove your innocence, and where we believe in due process of law, I think the FBI investigation was a useful way to demonstrate to the American people that none of these allegations that have been made against Judge Kavanaugh of sexual misconduct have been proven.

Cute Cornyn. But what would your “Democrat Colleagues” pound if they believed the FBI?

3. Dick Durbin (Dick, IL) – Partisan Hack. Partisan Hack. Partisan Hack.

In my 20 years on the Judiciary Committee, I have never heard anything like that or even close to that from a judicial nominee. It’s hard to imagine how a nominee who has displayed such raw partisanship could then claim to serve as a neutral umpire in the Supreme Court … At a time when our president plumbs the depth of bad behavior on a daily basis, we should not allow the highest court in our land to now sink to that same standard in their ranks.

Well, partisan hack with a side of Trump Derangement Syndrome. What do we expect from Dick?

This is the U.S. Senate Chamber where all the action will be today. Floor vote to confirm Justice Kavanaugh and then the weeping, wailing and gnashing of teeth. Photo credit – CSpan

4. Marco Rubio (Abbreviated, FL) – Little Marco is still hoping to be President someday and you can tell from his Floor Speech. He pays homage to the “millions” of victims somewhere, out there:

I would be remiss if I didn’t mention that there’s clearly another factor that is driving much of the anger and passion around this nomination. And it has nothing to do with partisan politics or politics at all, for that matter. It is the fact, as I’ve mentioned already earlier, that sadly, far too often, particularly women who come forward with allegations of harassment, abuse, or assault are ignored, dismissed and even blamed. And the fact is that because of this, we have potentially millions of victims who have never come forward and who suffer in silence.

Later, Little Marco paid homage to Senator Susan Collins for her bravery:

This is the story I want the media to cover. Fat chance, I know. This rent-a-mob we have been seeing is increasingly dangerous. By the way, if you haven’t read it, Deanna Fisher has a great post on Susan Collins floor speech. Read it here.

5. Mazie Hirono (Dumber Than a Box of Rock, HI) -Geez, Hawaii. Her remarks are so partisan. I am not going to copy and paste. Y’all need to bring your crazy home.

6. Thom Tillis (Slightly Delusional, NC) – Don’t get me wrong North Carolina. I lover you very much. But, Thom Tillis is slightly delusional if he thinks anything about the relationship between our elected servants and the Supremes is gonna change:

… We should be now, in that light, thinking about how we work together on a bipartisan basis to change things that we don’t like. Not expect a nine-member legislature to do our job.

7. Sheldon Whitehouse (DeCoder, RI) – Yes. Good old Sheldon Outhouse. That grand interpreter of high school year books. I caught this quote of his in the “Washington Post”:

“Why all the wreckage? Why all the rush? Why all the damage? Why all the violation?” asked Sen. Sheldon Whitehouse (D-R.I.).

Oof, Carnak. You can decode 30+ year old yearbooks, but you don’t know why the Pubbies want to get Brett Kavanaugh confirmed? Should we tell him it’s so Trump has two, count’em two, Justices on the Supreme Court.

Seven Out of Ninety-nine

That’s right. There will only ninety-nine Senators voting. Senator Steve Daines (R, MT) will be in Montana walking his daughter down the aisle. In order to insure the confirmation without the use of VP Pence as a tie breaker, Alaskan useless tool, Lisa Murkowski is going to vote present. Trump ought to stop drilling the Alaskan National Wildlife Refuge to punish her. He’s not small and mean like that, but I am.

There’s a wrap up of seven of our elected servants. These seven Senators will be voting in just a few hours to confirm Justice Brett Kavanaugh. Pop your popcorn and get your lounge chairs ready. Expect even more psychodrama from the Democrats. And, expect Mitch McConnell, Charles Grassley and Orrin Hatch to ask Susan Collins to join in a jig and reel. Now you have that picture in your head.

Feature photo: Capitol Building National Park Service