Got milk? Then you might be a Trump-supporting Nazi.
Yes, there are crazy people who believe that. Of course they’re leftists, but I repeat myself.
Follow me here. I’ll warn you, though, that you might experience headaches from banging your head on your desk.
It all started when lefty actor Shia LaBeouf decided to set up an anti-Trump art installation outside the Museum of the Moving Image in New York. Entitled “He Will Not Divide Us,” the installation merely consisted of a 24-hour live webcam. The project was to last the four years of Trump’s presidency.
Well. Due to violence occurring around the installation, the project was shut down.
Right before the NYPD ended it, the camera captured some shirtless neo-Nazis dancing in the street, extolling milk. All in all, pretty boring. No cross burnings or anything.
But it got the brilliant thinkers at Mic.com to surmise that because drinking milk might be a Thing among white supremacists, maybe drinking milk is racist because. . . Trump! They declared, “Milk is the new, creamy symbol of white racial purity in Donald Trump’s America.”
Let that convoluted logic sink in.
Of course Nazis love milk! they say. Remember the milk-chugging Nazi officer in the movie Inglorious Basterds? See?
But wait, there’s more! And it’s . . . Science! Mic also points out a study which shows that the lactase enzyme, which allows adults to digest milk, is mainly found among northern Europeans — you know, those awful people who foisted white privilege upon the world. So no wonder milk is the preferred drink of Nazis.
But why stop there? Guess what other nefarious villains loved to drink milk.
Why, none other than the imperialistic Brits. Those blue-eyed brutes who not only established a world wide empire, but also brought white privilege to America’s shores.
Proof? Of course there’s proof! It’s from a movie too — the 1971 Stanley Kubrick film A Clockwork Orange.
Here’s the intro from the movie, set in a dystopian Britain, where sadistic gangs loved to consume drug-laced milk in milk bars. Let me warn you — these images are definitely NSFW.
Well, happy day — I guess I’m not a Nazi. Even though I’m of German-English background, I’m lactose intolerant. I order my lattés with almond milk, so it’s all good.
But I stay away from the Kool-Aid. Only leftists and children drink that. But again, I repeat myself.