Obama Attempts To Look Like A Terror Warrior, Take Two

Obama Attempts To Look Like A Terror Warrior, Take Two

After last week’s badly received and reviewed speech from the Oval Office, and his bad polling numbers, President Obama decided to give it another go and look even tougher by making another speech – this time, from the Pentagon press room. After making the assembled journalists wait for around 45 minutes, Obama graced them with his presence for a grand total of 7 minutes before running for it (no questions, guys!).

Speaking at the Pentagon, December 14, 2015
Speaking at the Pentagon, December 14, 2015
He tried impressing everyone by rattling off a lot of names of bad guys, and pointing out that we are decimating them because we know where they are. He listed off goals that he plans on achieving – but his plan is the same as before: drop a lot of bombs, and tell everyone that other countries are doing the work. Though he failed to list off ANY other country as one of our “coalition partners.”

He also managed to mention the name of Master Sgt. Joshua Wheeler, and his death fighting against ISIS – but didn’t bother to call it combat earlier.

Obama also made a pass at attempting to reassure the American people that the Department of Homeland Security is totally on top of keeping you safe.

Ooooh, a new alert system. Why, I’m sure that will totally help. After all, if we’d had a better alert system, then DHS would have REALLY been able to snag Tashfeen Malik before she got into the country… oh, wait.

Obama’s entire strategy sounds like George Lucas’ entire method of directing the Star Wars movies – “Faster! More intense!

And trying out new trite phrases like this is not going to make ISIS shake in their boots.

You know what would work? Firebombing the smack out of Raqqa, which is the ISIS equivalent of Berchtesgaden (yes, I know there are likely captured slaves and innocent hostages there. ISIS is full of bad guys). That would send a much bigger and stronger message than standing at a podium and telling the military to “do this faster already! I’m missing all this nice golf weather!”

It was a seven minute spiel to try and fix a bad impression of seven days ago. It fell pathetically flat. Mark it as another Obama fail. But he doesn’t care. He’s off to Hawaii for Christmas vacation. He’ll get back to being all terror warrior-y later, if he has to.

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Ava Gardner