A few days ago, we got a good laugh and a good eye roll over the sexuality expert who advocated for diaper change consent:

Yep. Consent from birth, to establish “a culture”.

Never try and change anyone.

Unless they wear a diaper.

Make sure you get consent.

I know this now.

*Hallmark I’m still available

— Junkyard Dawg (@refinedrednec) May 12, 2018

New level of crazy here.

Me: Ok little buddy, would it be ok if I change you?

My son: Nah, I think I’ll sit with this load in my diaper, cry my eyes out, and annoy you and Mom for the next few hours…..🤦🏼‍♂️https://t.co/Ti3LXlM7d7

— 🇺🇸MFLYNNJR🇺🇸 (@mflynnJR) May 11, 2018

Dad: “Son, do I have consent to change your diaper?”

3 Day Old Infant: “No, I would feel violated and I prefer to bathe in my own diarrhea” pic.twitter.com/YoUBfje6wd

— Drew (@__JustDrewIt__) May 11, 2018

Australian sexuality educator, speaker, and author, Deanne Carson teaches kids about body safety and how to express sexual to comment on a controversial rape case and to share her expertise concerning how to change a diaper.

We work with parents from birth. Yes, just about how to set up a culture of consent in their homes so ‘I’m going to change your nappy now, is that OK?’ Of course a baby’s not going to respond ‘Yes mum, that’s awesome I’d love to have my nappy changed.’ But if you leave a space and wait for body language and wait to make eye contact then you’re letting that child know that their response matters.-Deanne Carson

So, now, changing your child’s diaper could be grounds for potential sexual assault? Are these crazies assuming that all parents have sexual ideas about their children? If so, this is sick, sick, sick and straight outta Looney-Land. Now, we’re supposed to make “eye-contact” with said unhappy babe and ask the child, “is it okay if I change your nappy?!” If only I knew this years back when my son was still in diapers. I fear I have scarred him for life with the non-negotiable change of ye olde stinky “diapie”! And yes, I totally violated my poor son with the liberal use of butt wipes and butt cream, too! (Face palm). I suppose I should gulp loudly and make reparations with my brother and sister in-law as well for changing my 5-month old nephew last week. I did not look into his eyes and ask for consent! Gasp! Instead, I ticked his cute little belly and his precious little toes when I was done. I told him how much I loved baby feet because they were so cute and delicious. Oh. My. God. I violated my nephew and I fear, my own son!

Who knew providing basic needs and protection for a child requires consent?! This is the slippery slope we go down, folks. “Sweetie, is it okay if I change your diaper? Is it okay if I feed you dinner now? If it’s okay, I’m going to put you in time out now. Is it okay if I put you to bed? Is it okay if I call you ‘Sweetie’?”

If we’re establishing said “culture of consent” let’s just go all out. We can ask our kids if it’s okay if we dress them in their gender-appropriate clothing. And when they get older, we can ask their consent before we ground them for being little jerks to us or their friends. We can get their consent to send them off to school daily. We can ask them if it’s okay if we take away their i-Phones or their video games for getting bad grades. We can look them in the eyes and ask to go through their backpacks if we’re suspicious they’re hiding cigarettes or worse. We can look them in the eyes and ask them to give us the car keys to the car we provided for them.

It’s no wonder we have kids who don’t listen to their parents. It’s no wonder we have so many kids who all-out disrespect and walk all over their mothers, fathers, guardians, teachers and elders. It’s no wonder we’re deep in the you-know-what as if we’ve been sitting in this filth for so long! Hopefully the tide changes soon. To all our moms out there in the land of the rational (and even irrational moms who believe this hogwash)…Happy Mother’s Day! God bless you all!