The Hill.com has the loooong awaited Inspector General Report on the Midterm Election/handling of the Clinton email investigation. And, while most of it written in law talk, there is some real insight into the utter pettiness of the people at the top of the FBI for anyone not them.

Of course, I will issue the usual disclaimer: This is only about the personnel at the top of the Department of Justice and FBI. We love bigly the hardworking men and women from the middle on down. Great.

I don’t read law and even if I could my short attention span would soon have me thinking about cheesy potatoes with bacon. It only took me 428 pages of the IG report to come to a couple of conclusions. Those people at the top spend way too much time emailing, texting, canoodling and being small minded children. Cheating lovers Peter Strzok and Lisa Page had about 10,000 text messages recovered. Besides being lying cheaters, they are not nice people. For example, page 428:

August 16, 2015, Strzok:
“[Bernie Sanders is] an idiot like Trump.
Figure they cancel each other out.”

February 12, 2016,
“I’m no prude, but I’m really appalled by this. So you don’t have to go looking (in case you hadn’t heard), Trump called him the p-word. The man has no dignity or class. He simply cannot be president. With a Slur for Ted Cruz, Donald Trump Further Splits Voters http://nyti.ms/1XoICkO.”

February 12, 2016, Strzok: “
Oh, [Trump’s] abysmal. I keep hoping the charade will end and people will just dump him. The problem, then, is Rubio will likely lose to Cruz. The Republican party is in utter shambles.
When was the last competitive ticket they offered?”

March 3, 2016, Page:
“God trump is a loathsome human”

March 3, 2016, Strzok: “Omg [Trump’s] an idiot.

Excuse me, Pat, I’d like to solve the puzzle.

Trump is loathsome, an idiot lacking dignity or class. Lol. You are cheaters. We win.

Oh, there is more:

July 19, 2016, Page: “Trump barely spoke, but the first thing out of
his mouth was ‘we’re going to win soooo big.’ The whole thing is like living in a bad dream.”

July 21, 2016, Strzok:
“Trump is a disaster. I have no idea how destabilizing his Presidency would be.”

August 26, 2016, Strzok:
“Just went to a southern Virginia Walmart. I could SMELL the Trump support….”

September 26, 2016, Page: Page sent an article to Strzok entitled,
“Why Donald Trump Should Not Be President,” stating, “Did you read
this? It’s scathing. And I’m scared.”

October 19, 2016, Strzok:
“I am riled up. Trump is a fucking idiot, is
unable to provide a coherent answer.”

As a dedicated Walmart shopper (I love deals), I have to ask, “Does Trump support at the Walmart smell as badly as cheating does? Inquiring minds want to know?

Leaving our cheaters aside for a minute, average FBI agents One and Five don’t care much for us either:

13:46:48, Agent 5: “jesus christ… Trump: Glad FBI is fixing ‘horrible mistake’ on clinton emails… for fuck’s sake.”

13:47:27, Agent 5: “the fuck’s sake part was me, the rest wasTrump.”

13:49:07, Agent 1: “Not sure if Trump or the fifth floor is worse…”

13:49:22, Agent 5: “I’m so sick of both…”

13:50:25, Agent 5: “+o( TRUMP”
207

13:50:30, Agent 5: “+o( Fifth floor”

13:50:34, Agent 5: “+o( FBI”

13:50:44, Agent 5: “+o( Average American public”

The symbols “+o” are emojis indicating a sick face. Ah jeez Agent 5, we don’t love you either.

And finally there is this:

09:38:14, FBI Attorney 2: “I am numb.”

09:55:35, FBI Employee: “I can’t stop crying.”

10:00:13, FBI Attorney 2: “That makes me even more sad.”

10:43:20, FBI Employee: “Like, what happened?”

10:43:37, FBI Employee: “You promised me this wouldn’t happen.
YOU PROMISED.”

10:43:43, FBI Employee: Okay, that might have been a lie…”

10:43:46, FBI Employee: “I’m very upset.”

10:43:47, FBI Employee: “haha”

Thank you Michael Horowitz for this look into the pettiness of the hormonal teenagers and whining toddlers employed and paid with our tax dollars. Scotch, please.