“Greater Church of Lucifer” Set To Open Later This Month Near Houston, Texas

“Greater Church of Lucifer” Set To Open Later This Month Near Houston, Texas

“Greater Church of Lucifer” Set To Open Later This Month Near Houston, Texas

Get out the Holy Water or get ready for a face palm-or both. If you’re in the Houston suburb of Old Town Spring there’s a new “church” coming to the city at the end of the month. This is not your mama’s “church” where you don your Sunday best and sing “The Lord is My Shepherd”. The libs are calling this “one step closer to religious equality.” (Gag.)


The Greater Church of Lucifer (GCOL) is set to open its Houston branch on October 30th. The church founder is Jacob No (not his real name), who also calls himself Lucifer Ina Etuti Esbu (The bearer of light that dwells in darkness). No, a former LDS, studied cognitive psychology in college and upon graduation, found himself marketing online businesses and products. He is now marketing a “church”.

From the website:

The Greater Church of Lucifer is a foundation for the unique individual who dares to illuminate the inner-light of the Black Flame. As individuals, we seek to express our insight towards attaining apotheosis, Lords of our spiritual and carnal world. As a foundation, GCOL seeks to inspire the few in the masses towards self-excellence and change.

We are an independent and a unique esoteric organization. We are true to our method and base our philosophy in the 11 Luciferian Points of Power. We are about finding the truth in all things and separating the world’s falsity We are real.

We take what has been placed upon this planet and expose the lies we encounter. We seek the secrets of this mortal life and break free from the bonds of common thought. We are the free thinkers, the iconoclasts that have been chastised over the centuries.

Blah, blah, blah. They’re soooooo deep, aren’t they? Inner-light of a black flame? Are they for real? The few in the masses? Because only a few people in the masses desire to be excellent and want change and apparently, hurtling toward lucifer is gonna get you there so come on in and join their happy (dysfunctional) “family”!

And then, there’s the take on “family” according to GCOL:

How does one family, as a verb? We family together. We are familying. All this may seem silly at first, but just maybe, actions speak more loudly than words. We can call ourselves family, but are we acting as a family? Let us family together by our actions. If we do, what would this look like? Please accept the following in the spirit of action rather than as demands or rules. This article is offered not to form a new definition of a word, but rather to offer hope for a new basis for how we treat one another. We are Family, and perhaps Family is something we do more than something we merely define as a title. Let’s explore the actions that help us Family together. (We choose to capitalize the word when referring to those in the Greater Church of Lucifer.)

Finally, a church for “the iconoclasts that have been chastised over the centuries.” But I thought that they won’t let themselves be chastised? Isn’t it about doing what feels good spiritually and carnally to these people? Oh, and the definition of iconoclast is “a destroyer of images used in religious worship, in particular”. Hmm..so why do they have a STATUE outside of their building? After all, wasn’t Lucifer a fallen angel? Why even name a “church” after him? In fact, why even call it a “church”? Why not just call it “The Greater Hovel of People Who Like to Wear Black and Stuff?” And by looking at the website and all of their ByLaws, Mission Statements, requests for donations (according to their website, GCOL has received $443.00 of their $60,000 building fundraising goal), yadda, yadda, yadda….it looks like “organized religion” to me. And they’re inviting people to join their “family”.

Warm fuzzies all-around, huh? When’s the next “church” potluck? I’ll bring Linda Blair’s pea green soup!

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  • Appalled By The World says:

    Finally, a church Progressives can love. No doubt they will support a tax exemption for this bunch.

    And the Pandora’s Box that popped open on 11/4/08 (THE date that should truly live in infamy) continues to spew out ever more gifts.

  • Lisa Carr says:

    Hopefully, it’s not the “gift that keeps on giving”!

    But, yeah, I agree…Progressives won’t squawk at all about THEIR tax-exempt status.

    Esoteric=only a select few “get” us, we are superior and every one else is stupid. They are truly on another plain. Another plain of stooopid.

  • Jeremy says:

    All I can say is WOW! I have dealt with people like this my whole life. You can’t argue with them, because reason, and rationality go out the window. They have preconceived notions of what “is” is, and any divergence of that path is “evil”. Their minds are already made up, before even reading what the church was about. All that filled up in their conscious was how can I say something witty and at the sometime bashing to these people that just want to exist in equality. Like that isn’t allowed. To think differently is NOT allowed and demonized by their cruel banter.

    • Rose Thorne says:

      I can hold up a mirror to your statement without changing one word or inflection, Jeremy, and convey the exact stance, even though I am of the LHP, and a proud member of the Church.

  • Jeremy says:

    Oh, and to be clear that comment was meant for the blogger herself, and the following ignorant comments.

  • Jack F. Shyte says:

    The derisive tone, and dismissive attitude of this “article” serve only to demonstrate a lack of comprehension of the whole point of what the GCOL is, what it stands for, and what it’s goals are. It would appear that the author has some personal bias when it comes to something they are unfamiliar with. This “article” speaks volumes more about it’s author than it does about it’s intended subject…

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