Dear Abby Says “Abortion is Legal” to Woman Haunted by Abortion
Dear Abby Says “Abortion is Legal” to Woman Haunted by Abortion
A woman recently wrote a letter to Abigail Van Buren, the iconic “Dear Abby” writer, to obtain advice involving what sounds like a recent relationship dispute concerning a previous abortion. The timing is impeccable, is it not?
DEAR ABBY: Two years ago, I met a gentleman, and he eventually decided we were “soul mates.” I agreed. Over time, we shared our life stories, good and bad. I confided that I’d had an abortion at the age of 18, which has haunted me all my adult life.
Recently he was reciting a chronology of my life. When he got to the abortion, he said, “… and then you became a child murderer.” His comment stunned me. He finds nothing wrong with it. Was this total disrespect, or am I overreacting? — STUNNED IN PENNSYLVANIA
Abby seemed more than happy to oblige her follower’s request for advice:
DEAR STUNNED: That “gentleman’s” remark was not only disrespectful, but also incredibly insensitive and wrong. It is not against the law to terminate a pregnancy in this country. It is a right that many women — and men — fought hard to achieve.
Because each woman’s circumstances are unique, this deeply personal decision is made for a variety of reasons. Like yourself, women experience a range of emotions afterward — including feelings of sadness and anger, but also relief. For this person to have made such an insensitive comment should be a clue that he may not be your soul mate after all.
Because of stigma that, not surprisingly, can cause feelings of shame, many women choose to remain silent about their decision to have an abortion. A resource that could be helpful to them — and to you — is Exhale (exhaleprovoice.org), a nonpolitical, nonjudgmental support organization for women who have had an abortion. Please check it out.
So I thought, why not swap the subject with something else that was once legal? Let’s go back in time, Dear Abby, and visit a different issue once deemed acceptable, sometime before the birth of the 13th Amendment. Was there a Dear Abby to answer such questions? Let’s pretend as though there were.
DEAR ABBY: Two years ago, I met a gentleman, and he eventually decided we were “soul mates.” I agreed. Over time, we shared our life stories, good and bad. I confided that I had owned a slave until the age of 18, which has haunted me all my adult life.
Recently he was reciting a chronology of my life. When he got to the slave owning portion, he said, “… and then you became the owner of another human being.” His comment stunned me. He finds nothing wrong with it. Was this total disrespect, or am I overreacting? — SHATTERED IN SOUTH CAROLINA
And now the pretend response:
DEAR SHATTERED: That “gentleman’s” remark was not only disrespectful, but also incredibly insensitive and wrong. It is not against the law to own a slave in this country. It is a right, defended by both women, and men.
Ahhhh, perspective can be quite the wretched monster. As for a rebuttal to her original reply, regarding an industry that profits on the death of infants, Abby appeals to the legality as an excuse.
It is not against the law to terminate a pregnancy in this country.
As demonstrated above, does Abby realize how many appalling practices were performed under the blanket of being legal? Would Abby have consoled a bus driver known as “MAD IN MONTGOMERY” in 1955, after an ornery Rosa Parks refused to give up her seat? Segregation was legal, Abby. This argument might be among the worst in the history of Pro-Choice arguments. However, the following is a close second:
Because each woman’s circumstances are unique, this deeply personal decision is made for a variety of reasons.
The most irritating faction of the Pro-Choice movement must be the “It’s a life, but it must be a personal decision!” group. To admit that this is a “personal decision” or to put emphasis on the emotional displacement involved, is to admit that it is something greater – heavier – than various other decisions, e.g., getting a puppy, purchasing a car, taking out the trash, or even a simple operation. It tells us that the argument was constructed under the premise of attributing worth to the “tissue” being eliminated. Maybe, just maybe, it’s because we are all bright enough to realize that it is a human being? Could it be that Stunned is haunted because she acknowledges the life she ended?
Like yourself, women experience a range of emotions afterward — including feelings of sadness and anger, but also relief.
Now that we’ve established that the emotional weight is due to the fact that it’s a choice to eliminate life not simply tissue, we can look at the reasoning. “Relief,” be it the unwanted child, or the result of abuse. Let’s play a comparison game: Child A and Child B are both the victims of hit-and-run accidents, the perpetrators face the courts, and arguments are made. Child A was the product of rape, Child B was the product of love, should the driver that hit Child A be given a lighter sentence? Is his responsibility for ending life weakened by the way in which Child A was conceived? No.
The woman who wrote Dear Abby was facing regret because it was warranted. Healing, forgiveness, and comfort should be available, but our society – those like Abby – have continuously manipulated women like Stunned. She has encouraged women to accept an industry that has hurt countless women, and has ended countless lives. Which comes as no surprise considering Abby has been known to push teenage girls into going to Planned Parenthood, an organization that has long been exposed for their horrific practices, more so lately.
Initially, Abby’s advice is decent. She tells the teen that she should tell her father because she may need his help and that he can’t force her to have an abortion. But then, Abby tells her to go to Planned Parenthood. She say’s, “You must also be sure to have the best prenatal care possible, so your child will be born healthy. Planned Parenthood has clinics where this care is offered, and you should contact it as soon as possible. If you check its website,www.plannedparenthood.org, you will also find information about adoption.”
And she promoted them yet again, the second time in one month, in April of this year:
She concluded, “Mature girls know to protect themselves when engaging in sexual activity. It is important that you be checked by a gynecologist for STDs and learn about effective birth control. If you don’t have a doctor you can confide in, Planned Parenthood can help you.”
Maybe what STUNNED IN PENNSYLVANIA needed was true healing, instead she was sent to Exhale, a group which openly believes that “abortion can be a normal part of the reproductive lives of women and girls.” They even have e-cards that you can send to the women in your life who have had an abortion. In 2011 their “Pro-voice” beliefs were called into question by Jill Stanek after the group participated in the MTV show “No Easy Decision,” which followed a teenager’s decision process that eventually ended in an abortion.
“What Exhale does is allow post-abortive mothers to come in and debrief and get out all their grief and fears and whatever, but then its ultimate purpose is to support abortion,” Ms. Stanek said. “It wasn’t pro-life post-abortive groups that MTV called. It was a group that was decidedly pro-abortion.”
So, Abby, I must say, there is very little evidence to support the “non-political” side of Exhale. Your beliefs have been made perfectly clear, Abby, in that you have pushed this young woman into an organization that will only make her feel relief for taking a life, not acknowledgment and healing. A better recommendation would have been Project Rachel, or Operation Rescue. I care about women in such sad situations, and hope they finds the support, forgiveness, and healing they need, but I also hope they realize the gravity of such a choice and why something regarded as a casual procedure by those on The Left has caused her such pain. A life has been lost, Abby, and the brunt of your response is to label a harshly worded man as “disrespectful.” Your failure to see that she’s hurting for a legitimate reason, for taking the life of her offspring, will only do her more harm than good. Once again, Abby, your response has been tried and found wanting.