Once, in the Kingdom of Sunny Florida, some lords of the realm called Senators met for a special Saturday session. They wanted to discuss what to do about a strange and feared beast called the AR-15. Now some Senators of the Right — the Republicans — said the beast was useful for peaceable people. However, other Senators of the Left — the Democrats — said the AR-15 is a evil monster, doing the bidding of the wicked NRA, who want to kill children and other living things.

So at the end of a contentious meeting, the Senators voted to ban the beast from the Kingdom. And the Senators of the Left danced. And Sang.

But not all was well for these Senators and the people of the Left. For as it happened, all the Senators took a second, more official vote. And just like that, the decree to ban the fearsome AR-15 was no more.

And the people of the Left were distraught.

Oh, it was a bewildering day!

“But,” say the people of the Left. “We don’t want to take the guns of the peaceful people of the Right. We just want to ban the AR-15 beast (and all its evil relatives, but never mind that).”

So a clever and unusual man from the Land of Hollywood named James Woods — who is indeed unusual, since he is a conservative in that amoral land — asked a simple question of the people of the Left:

Objective question of my more liberal friends and followers: if you could have the Second Amendment repealed, would you want that? Would you prefer civilian gun ownership to be completely banned?

— James Woods (@RealJamesWoods) March 3, 2018

And another man of Hollywood, a director named Rod Lurie, said, no, of course not! He said no Democrat leaders want to ban guns from peaceful people. Even a past Supreme Leader of the Left, Barack Obama, never wanted that to happen, he insisted.

But another man from the Kingdom of Hollywood, a jester named Michael Ian Black, hates guns, and wants to keep people from owning them. He even wants to change the Constitution so that no one can own one. So he wrote these words:

I want to repeal the Second Amendment. Barring that I want to make gun ownership incredibly onerous.

So the Republicans of the Big Kingdom — the United States — are confused. What do the people of the Left, the Democrats, really want? Do they really want to take our guns away? Or can we get along, even if some of us own the thing they despise, the AR-15?

Oh, but the people of the Left are Masters of Deception. They say they don’t want to take guns away from people of the Right who follow the laws of the land. But we now know that 73% of the common people of the Left want to ban all guns called “semi-automatic,” which means not just the AR-15, but some of its smaller cousins, like handguns. And even their leaders agree, for they now want to pass a law to keep all people from owning them, even those folks who do no harm. The Democrat leaders also call these guns “Assault Weapons,” as if they were made for war.

However, they’re telling a lie. These “semi-automatic” weapons include just about everything upstanding and peaceful people might own.

So what will finally happen in the Kingdom of Sunny Florida on Monday, when all the lords meet for a final vote? Will they let the good people of the Right keep their feared weapon, the AR-15? Will the leaders of the Right be able to thwart the Democrat leaders of the Left yet again?

Or will the Left be able to take away the rights of trustworthy people to own their strange beast, and then start to take away even more of its relatives? Which is, of course, what they really want to do more than anything.