Well, cry me a damned river. Do the Congress Critters ever get out into the real world?

Some of them are playing the world’s tiniest violin these days, complaining that they’re being forced to sleep in their congressional offices because housing costs in the District of Columbia are too damn high. Cue this dude:

I’ll wait while you complete your eye-roll.

Ready? Ok.

Here’s their complaint:

Crying poverty amid decade-long stagnant salaries and Washington’s steep cost of living, an increasing number of House lawmakers have turned into professional squatters at night, hitting the sack in their Capitol Hill offices — on everything from cots in closets to futons stashed behind constituent couches — to save a few bucks during the work week.

“Washington is too expensive,” said Rep. Dan Donovan (R-SI), who credits the cot that he sleeps on in a tiny alcove in his office as the reason he is able to serve in Congress while still paying his New York City housing costs.

“If we go to the point where you have to rent or have to buy [in DC], then only millionaires would be members of Congress,’’ he said. “I don’t think that was the intent of our Founding Fathers.”

True. They also didn’t intend for government-teat leeches to squat in office for several decades, then retire with a fat pension. AND THEN COMPLAIN ABOUT IT.

So…

• One: NO ONE MADE YOU RUN FOR OFFICE. Yes, I’m yelling.

Many of them previously got extra compensation, or a per diem, when they served in their home-state legislatures to cover their living expenses while at the state capitol. New York state lawmakers in Albany, for example, get $175 for each day they are in town. In other large cities such as Sacramento, Calif., the daily stipend rises to $183, and in Austin, Texas, it is $190.

• Two: It’s YOUR RESPONSIBILTY to research what winning an election might COST YOU financially. Still yelling.
• Three: YOU MAKE 174 grand PER YEAR. That’s about a hundred grand more than my family makes—also a stagnant wage, by the way—and SOMEHOW WE GET BY. Nope, not done yelling.

But as members of the House, US reps receive a salary of $174,000 a year — a figure that hasn’t increased in nearly a decade — and no housing allowance, while working in a city where a sparse one-bedroom pad can start at $2,000 a month. Meanwhile, they also have to pay to maintain a residence in their home state.

Members of the House and Senate leadership seem to fare better, if only because they rake in nearly $20,000 more a year, or $193,400. There are few if any known examples of senators bunking down in their offices overnight.

They definitely deserve a raise, don’t you think? Sarcasm on blast.

• Four: MOST IMPORTANTLY, I’m pretty stinkin’ certain that these people care precisely JACK about your oh-so-tough life:

But California is the future, according to Kamala Harris (D-CA), the senator from Cal who’s desperate to become President.

But wait, there’s more: to remedy this oh-so-imminent threat to our Republic for which they stand—er, sleep in their office closets and bitch about it—they’ll be offering up legislation to halt this outrage:

Proposed legislation set to be introduced in the House as soon as this month would prohibit politicians from turning their offices into makeshift sleeping quarters, arguing that the move is violating IRS and congressional ethics rules.

“Look, it’s unhealthy. It’s nasty. I wouldn’t want to be entertained in somebody’s bedroom,” said Rep. Bennie Thompson (D-Miss.), who is among those spearheading the bill.

“Sleeping in your office is not proper’’ ethically, either, Thompson said. “You get free cable. Free electricity. Free janitorial. Free security. No rent. It’s a heck of a deal. It probably comes out to $25,000 to $30,000’’ a year that isn’t claimed at tax time.

Proposed by an elitist, I-know-best Democrat whose suddenly concerned about tax codes and national debt. Naturally. Will he propose the same type of legislation for America’s homeless population? Because removing the eyesore that so offends the “woke” is definitely the solution to homelessness. *eyeroll*

Here’s a suggestion: IF your sleeping arrangements are having such a detrimental affect on your psyche and your pocketbook is sitting empty on your congressional office Lay-Z-Boy , you’re FREE TO RESIGN and let someone who’s not motivated by collecting six figures, and then complaining about it, fill your seat. You know, people who CARE about the epidemic of veteran homelessness. And CARE about child homelessness. Because wouldn’t it be amazing if we sent legislators to DC who actually, you know, worked on behalf of the people, sucked-up the sacrifice necessary to serve, and were grateful for the opportunity?

Yeah, #MeToo.

In the meantime, boo freakin’ hoo.

Now I’m done yelling.