Just when you thought things could not get any worse on the left coast, we bring you Oregon governor, Tina Kotek.

Kotek, who is up for re-election later this year made many empty promises. Those with common sense knew this. Portland is still very much a trash pile- unsafe, unsavory, with homelessness of mentally ill and drug users still on the streets. Schools are atrocious. Infrastructure is crumbling. ICE protests have been a clown show. And, speaking of clown shows, a recent (satirical) article in That Oregon Life highlights the utter ridiculousness of Kotek’s leadership.

According to this, Tina Kotek was said to have “shocked residents this week” when she showed up wearing her usual lesbian pant suit accessorized with a new mohawk. Orange, perhaps?

Tina Kotek, you absolute disaster, spare us the pathetic #WearOrange circus!
While you’re prancing around in your virtue signal orange, pretending to “honor victims,” Oregon is bleeding from the failed, soft on crime, gun grabbing nightmare you’ve inflicted on us. “Common sense…

— OregonWolf (@WhitewolfOr7) June 5, 2026

Think again. Bright purple suits her, they/them, whatever, better.

No, this is not an episode of Portlandia, although it very well could be. Kotek was said to have shaved the sides of her head and is now sporting a mohawk. What would happen if Tina were to truly do this? Would the wokesters of Oregon be cringing and crying out cultural appropriation? According to this, there would be none of that outrage. “They think it suits her well”. Willing to wager that they would cover for Kotek, calling her choice to shave her head and dye her hair purple as a bold move. Because Oregon is a bold state. Yeah, a bold state of perpetually triggered, politically correct weirdos in the bigger cities surrounding rational Americans.

Tina’s popularity is, indeed slipping, so there is some hope:

But this article is a laugh.

Governor Kotek believes government should reflect the people it serves. And after reviewing recent legislative sessions, transportation proposals, and public comments on social media, we felt the mohawk was the most accurate representation available.”-a “spokesperson” for Tina Kotek

More snickers:

Despite the criticism, insiders say the governor is fully committed to the new look.

State agencies reportedly spent most of Tuesday updating official photos, replacing portraits, revising websites, and determining whether the mohawk qualifies as critical infrastructure.

The Oregon Department of Transportation even announced a preliminary study to determine whether the hairstyle could help improve traffic flow.”-Tyler James, That Oregon Life

And more:

Meanwhile, lawmakers are already discussing additional style changes to better reflect their policy priorities.

One proposal would require every member of the legislature to adopt a hairstyle matching their district’s budget deficit.

Another would allow state employees to claim hair dye as a transportation-related expense.
As of press time, thousands of Oregonians were still debating whether the governor’s new haircut was real, while several Portland residents had already copied it and declared it a protected cultural landmark.”-Tyler James, That Oregon Life

Earlier this year, Tina Kotek extended Oregon’s homelessness emergency for the third time in her tenure, citing “improvements” although the increased of number of homeless Oregonians tells another story. Walk along the streets of Portland to see for yourself that not much has changed, if at all. One never knows where and when they will stumble upon a tent or see a poor, addicted soul, on the verge of being a total zombie, hunched over in the perils of addiction.

Oregon is reported as one of the worst performers in the country, educationally, ranking 50th among states in fourth-grade math and reading, 49th in eighth-grade math, and 47th in eighth-grade reading. Then, there was the misuse of funds, potentially for the First Spouse. Most recently, Kotek ordered DMV to not offer undercover license plates to ICE.

Tina Kotek’s leadership has been a disaster for the state of Oregon. Her stance on crime, drugs on the streets, illegal criminal activity and state infrastructure has been a wreck. It is no wonder someone wrote a satirical article on the official “hairdo” of Oregon.

Orange really is your color, Governor.

You decriminalized hard drugs, turned Portland into an open-air fentanyl market, and ran a revolving-door justice system that kept putting predators back on the street. But sure—throw on the bright vest, pose in the garden, and lecture us…

— Sadie (@knockknock_x3) June 5, 2026

Honestly, a purple mohawk on that face would be an improvement. Now, all she needs is some stretched ears and one of those ugly septum piercings. These expressions are also, cultural appropriation, hipster-kiddies, but we can’t expect y’all to know historical significance if you can’t read or write.

Photo Credit: Tony Miller via Wikimedia Commons/Creative Commons Public Domain Mark Owner