Step right up and get your paint chips and tin foil hats, ladies and gentlemen. The American Humanist Association and their representatives are more than happy to help you out should you choose NOT to stand for The Pledge of Allegiance. The latest shameless plug for the organization comes to us via Salon (color us shocked on that one) in an article penned by the AHA’s very own Dave Niose.

If there are concerns about anti-intellectualism and even fascistic tendencies in American society nowadays, the practice of daily national exaltation has relevance. If you truly love America and the values “for which it stands,” there’s only one thing to do: scrap the Pledge of Allegiance.

The “Humanist” approach is defined as: a progressive philosophy of life that, without theism and other supernatural beliefs, affirms our ability and responsibility to lead ethical lives of personal fulfillment that aspire to the greater good of humanity.

Niose’s arguments for scrapping the pledge stem from his experience encountering students in schools nationwide who are “pledge dissenters”. His arguments center around First Amendment rights and students’ freedom to not participate:

“I’ve spent the last year interacting with kids who have participated in the American Humanist Association’s boycott of the Pledge of Allegiance. The boycott is intended to raise awareness of the fact that the pledge, which was originally scripted by a magazine editor in 1892, did not include the words “under God” until 1954. The insertion of those two words has long irritated many Americans, particularly those who reject the notion of tying patriotism to God-belief, and the AHA’s boycott has been an effective strategy for educating many, especially young people, on the issue.”

You can read Niose’s opinion piece in its entirety here. The page Boycott The Pledge can be viewed on the AHA website and argues against saying the Pledge because of its “Under God” verbiage being offensive to many Americans:

Whether you are religious or not, you can make a statement for true inclusiveness. Support liberty and justice for all, and support indivisibility. Stand up for America by sitting down during the Pledge of Allegiance boycott until the inclusive version is restored.

Here we go with “inclusive” again. Niose continues to argue his case with his observations of intolerance shown towards individuals who choose not to stand for the Pledge being “stunning”. He cites a young pledge dissenter who has a father who served in the military and approved of his son’s decision to not stand to back up his theory of our Pledge being nothing but a brainwashing tool by “anti-intellectual, Conservative fundamentalists”. Reading between the lines here is more of the same liberal/progressive sludge that we hear daily: Conservatives who are patriotic and faithful are DUMB. Do not follow the “dumb people”.

Where is the “inclusiveness” for those of us who do not agree with this nonsense? We are clearly not “included” inside of their elite circle of brainiacs who think saying a Pledge is beneath them intellectually and “dumbs them down”. They seem to think their over-inflated self-righteousness gives them the authority to let young Americans know that it is their “right” to not pledge because “it’s what the smart people are doing”. Pledging Allegiance is for fascists. Pledging Allegiance is for dummies. You must be a bigot if your recite The Pledge. Now who’s doing the brainwashing here?

Yes, it is our First Amendment right to NOT stand. It is our First Amendment right to NOT utter “Under God” if those two words do not align with our personal beliefs.It is our right to boycott and be a “pledge dissenter” in this great country that we live in and to bully and call others who still believe in standing with our hands on our hearts “stupid” and “brainwashed”. We can say any thing we want. Personally, I think the hipster in his Bernie shirt sitting down with his vape pen at a sporting event while every one around him stands looks pretty damn pathetic. That’s my opinion and last I checked, my right to express it still remains intact under the First Amendment. Niose stated that the “practice of daily exaltation has relevance”. And it does. What is missing here is a sentiment of reverence. So, for pledge dissenters, rock on with your bad selves and rest your head on your pillow at night knowing that the “stupid minions” of this country WILL continue to stand. Praise Obama while you’re sitting down. Look to Sanders for rainbow-spouting unicorns and free college tuition while trampling our flag in protest of “ideology”. It’s okay. It’s your right. We will stand for you.