Pass me the barf bag now, Katy Perry is at it again in Vogue.

Not that I read Vogue and any of the pretentious rants that Ana Wintour views as edgy and compelling because I don’t. I just came across this article and found it to be amusing. The article claims that after years of “cutsey”, Katy Perry is becoming more “androgynous, architectural and political“.

Because she was so cerebral before, right?

In short, she talks about her failed marriage to Russell Brand and recent break-up with Orlando Bloom. She talks about growing up in a Christian home and what life was like before she became “educated”. She talks about her enlistment of Es Devlin, of London Olympics closing ceremony and several of Vuitton’s runway shows fame, to craft her video and tour sets:

“I’ve seen behind the curtain and I can’t go back. I used to be the queen of innuendo, everything done with a wink. Now I want to be the queen of subtext—which is a cousin to innuendo, but it’s got more purpose.”-Katy Perry

This “subtext” she speaks of, is of course, political. And it does not take too terribly long to get through her rambling about teacup poodles, glitter and to this:

I don’t think you have to shout it from the rooftops but I think you have to stand for something, and if you’re not standing for anything. ‘California Gurls’ and fluffy stuff would be completely inauthentic to who I am now and what I’ve learned. I do believe we need a little escapism, but I think that it can’t all be that. If you have a voice you have a responsibility to use it now, more than ever.”

“I was really disheartened for a while; it just brought up a lot of trauma for me. Misogyny and sexism were in my childhood: I have an issue with suppressive males and not being seen as equal. I felt like a little kid again being faced with a scary, controlling guy. I wouldn’t really stand for it in my work life, because I have had so much of that in my personal life. But it’s an awakening that was necessary because I think we were in a false utopia . . . we can’t ever get that stagnant again. I am so grateful that young people know the names of senators. I think teenage girls are going to save the world! That age group just seems to be holding people accountable. They have a really strong voice—and a loud one.”-Katy Perry

You know what? I’m traumatized, too, Katy. Mainly because of your choice “foot model” though I shouldn’t be shocked:

The shoe is called “The Hillary” but I think for old time’s sake, Hillary should have worn these for ol’ Bill:

Yes, the heel is a cigar. To be honest, the whole shoe line is hideous and I keep getting pop-up ads on my browser for them! I am traumatized for having seen all of this. I need my safe space…NOW because I’m triggered! And I am using my voice!

Katy Perry raising money designing shoes for abortion giant Planned Parenthood. #katyperry #abortion #prolife https://t.co/n8CGb9g8wE

— Rock For Life (@rockforlife) April 5, 2017

And, some shoe sales helped Planned Parenthood out so, there’s that, too.

All kidding aside. If we read the SUBTEXT of Katy Perry’s statement we will see she wastraumatizedby Trump’s victory. (Does she even know names of senators?) You want to talk misogyny, Katy? Really? Don’t want to be a victim of sexism? Try this on for size: most self-respecting women would not choose to depict their boobs as whipped cream shooting “weapons” or some amusement park fun house ride but I digress. And talk about a false utopia…does she honestly believe that teenage girls (being the way they are now) are going to save the world?! The selfie generation. The generation who wears knitted hats with cat ears, the girls who need safe spaces and free birth control are going to save the world! This age group holding people accountable? Really? I suppose they do, because they spend so much time pointing fingers at every one else for their shortcomings and don’t have the stones to hold themselves accountable for anything. And yes, they are loud. But they are also crude and faithless.

Some of us have seen behind that curtain, too, Katy. And we chose to CLOSE IT. And some of us did not grow up in Santa Barbara before we saw behind that curtain so shut up about what you’ve learned and your reality and get a grip because you’re just another attention-starved, rich-kid, spoiled brat who sold out when you realized your Christian way of life was not the way to gain popularity and notoriety. In Katy Perry’s distorted lenses, though, this is all part of an “awakening”. Yeah. Who, again is living in a false reality?