I haven’t watched the VMA awards in years, and I have no intentions of ever watching them again. “Waste of time” is an understatement, and at this point I weep for humanity when I witness such societal sewage. I said quite a few years ago that eventually the Video Music Awards would resemble the love child of Rocky Horror Picture Show and Chillicothe Correctional Institution. I know what you’re thinking, and no, I’m not a prophet.

That said, today I find myself watching a clip of the awards so that I can write about what might possibly be the funniest thing to ever happen to a pre-apocalyptic America since Tim Conway told his elephant story; however, the latter was meant to be a comedy. So, without further ado, Kanye West has said he will run for President in 2020, and I don’t think he’s kidding.

See his riveting speech below (Listen, if I had to watch it, so should you):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V0vCyIbfKGU

Just imagine, for a moment, his inauguration. Or think about how he’d handle taxes, or his first foreign conflict.

“Yo China, I’m really happy for you…I’ll let you finish. But Iran had one of the best nuclear bomb increases of all time!”

Word of his future campaign quickly spread.

Kanye West said he’s running for president in 2020.

The musician announced his bid for the White House Sunday night at the MTV Video Music Awards during his acceptance speech for the Video Vanguard Award.

In the same rambling speech, West also said he smoked weed prior to the awards. “I rolled up a little something. I knocked the edge off,” he said.

No one, and I mean no one, doubts his pre-award show activities. Kanye also took the time to comment on his past feud with Taylor Swift.

First of all, thank you, Taylor, for being so gracious and giving me this award this evening. Thank you. And I often think back to the first day I met you, also. You know, I think about when I’m in the grocery store with my daughter, and I have a really great conversation about fresh juice, you know? And at the end they say, “Oh, you’re not that bad after all!” And, like, I think about it sometimes like — it crosses my mind a little bit like when I go to a baseball game and 60,000 people boo me. It crosses my mind.

And I think if I had to do it all again, what would I have done? Would I have worn a leather shirt? Would I have drank a half a bottle of Hennessy and gave the rest to the audience? Y’all know y’all drink that bottle, too! If I had a daughter at that time, would I have went on stage and grabbed the mic from someone else’s?

Having a conversation in the grocery store about fresh juice and Kanye West is now on my bucket list. Are you confused after reading the above paragraphs? Or maybe you’re still confused after watching his speech? Let me translate:

“People have been disappointed in me, and after a gradual increase in maturity following the birth of my daughter, I regret my actions towards you, Taylor Swift. Also, I like ideas and pot, Kanye for President in 2020.”

Kanye has been known for his outlandish comments in the past.

“I am God’s vessel. But my greatest pain in life is that I will never be able to see myself perform live.”

“I think what Kanye West is going to mean is something similar to what Steve Jobs means. I am undoubtedly, you know, Steve of internet, downtown, fashion, culture. Period. By a long jump. I honestly feel that because Steve has passed, you know, it’s like when Biggie passed and Jay Z was allowed to become Jay Z.”