Dear Parents: Sometimes Your Kids Can’t Have Whatever They Want
Dear Parents: Sometimes Your Kids Can’t Have Whatever They Want
We see the news daily. Parents and would-be parents raising their children without a gender identity because it gives them a certain “status” in their community of politically like-minded individuals. Parents being “advocates” for their children and pulling out all of the stops to get them into the best colleges to ensure a fruitful career because=status.
Lori Loughlin and others learned a very valuable lesson this week. This was a lesson that Loughlin perhaps missed in raising her daughter: CONSEQUENCES for one’s actions. While her daughter has lost her “Instagram influencer” endorsements because of these decisions, she is still attending USC. Perhaps Lori’s parents missed giving the grown-up child actress the lessons tied to consequences when she was younger which would explain why she thought it was perfectly okay to scheme and cheat to get her daughter into the college of her choice.
The scheme, which began in 2011, centered on a Newport Beach college placement firm run by Rick Singer. Wealthy parents paid Singer to help their children cheat on college entrance exams and to falsify athletic records of students to enable them to secure admission to elite schools, including UCLA, USC, Stanford, Yale and Georgetown, according to court records.”-The Los Angeles Times
The concept of paying off people to take SATs and rubbing elbows with the right people in their social circles is nothing new but it brings to light the shadow of darkness that these parents cast over their children. The self-centered, delusional concept of “you could be anything you want” (minus consequences) and pulling out all stops to make sure they can be. Parents do this at whatever cost they see fit. They push their way onto the soccer field and blame other kids for the teams’ loss. They bully and belittle other kids and their parents because of this loss. Their children see this. They badger teachers to place their child in so-called “gifted” programs and then blame the technology used to administer the test to determine if they belong in such a program on their child not making the cut. Their “prodigies” get bad grades or put on suspension for their bad behavior and they blame the school administration. Or, they file lawsuits with school districts for not changing Jason’s name to “Jayda” because he wants to be a girl two days out of a 5-day week. They tell their little princes and princesses (or otherkins) that they can “be whatever they want” and when their precious gems use this as a point to bully another child and make them feel less-than-adequate, they don’t see it as a teaching point for them where they coach their kids on humility or to “check themselves before they wreck themselves”. Negative. It’s the rest of the world that’s the problem. The rest of the world is in their child’s way. The rest of the world needs to just step aside for their brilliant spawn to come through on the red carpet of life!
When parents tell their children that “they WILL change the world” without teaching them the lessons of consequences and humility or how to relate to other people, they do a huge disservice to themselves and their kids. If we look at some of our college students and graduates today, we see the by-product of this self-indulgent philosophy. These young adults break down when someone tells them that the world is less-than perfect. They throw tantrums when a person dares to disagree with them. They wield their book-smarts and intelligence like swords in a battle they don’t even understand and have NO common sense. Some of them get a dose of reality when they get to college and get a professor who does not buy into their B.S. actually FAILS them! The ones who choke in Real Life 101 get pushed under the carpet, written out of the family will with a tale of “woe is me” whilst Mom and Dad drink their scotch at the country club. In their parental haze, they are dense enough to still not know where they went wrong. The others, unscathed and pristine from the throes of reality, get through and trudge into the working world, happily thinking that they actually achieved something and are “gainfully” employed (by jobs previously arranged by Mom and Dad or as successors in Mom and Dad’s business) or they become “Instagram Influencers” (yes, they actually call themselves influencers). Education dollars well-spent, I’ll say (snicker). These young men and women feel they have authority over their elders who have worked hard and know better and actually believe they are more competent individuals while the rest of us know they couldn’t get out of a paper bag if they tried. All the while, these delusional parents smile and say, “That’s my kid. He’s going to Harvard. He is changing the world.”
Yes, he is alright, but is he changing the world for better or worse? Where is the lesson that he perhaps took a spot that should have been reserved for one less-fortunate than he-for one who got the grades and who has the grit? Yet, this precious “prodigy” will go to an Ivy and argue for social justice and open borders. He will argue for Socialism when his parents took advantage of a corrupt money-making scheme (by the true evil Capitalists) to get him into the school of his desire…because he could “be anything he wanted to be” despite being a mediocre athlete and having a C minus average. Nope, that does not matter. Capitalism is bad unless it fits in with a parent’s agenda of gaining status. Be a good little Democrat, now Junior, and enjoy the fruits of our corruption. And don’t worry if some big, bad adult “criticizes” your harebrained ideas or offers you unsolicited advice because she’s been there, done that. “Daddy” will come to the rescue and blast her into the stratosphere!
This world needs a few less spoiled-brat-egotistical adults, kids and perfectly-filtered “Insta-Influencers”. Honestly, if I see one more vainglorious, mom-jeans-wearing 20-something female with a Gucci belt grabbing her hair extensions with one hand, Starbucks in another and talking about the outfit and makeup she got for FREE because she looks ‘fab” in it on a feed, I may vomit. This is NOT reality. We need a little less of that influence, if you know what I mean. Children today need a huge vaccination of accountability, hard work and character. So parents, take heed: when they screw up, go ahead and provide those learning experiences for them with (shudder) the “C’ word: consequences. Don’t be afraid. Your little royals won’t break in half and neither will you. When you completely FUBAR or think of doing something unethical or wrong, question the impact it will have on your children because what goes around DOES come around. You guys can all start with Lesson One: Fraud and Racketeering is NOT Okay.
This is not to say that parents should not be proud of their children. Seriously. Go ahead and tell your precious babes they can be whoever and whatever they set their minds to. But for crying out loud-give them a sense of pride in their work and temper that with a hard dose of reality for the child AND for YOURSELF.
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