It has been a week since E. Jean Carroll claimed she was raped by Donald Trump in Bergdorf Goodman. It’s been about five days since she told Anderson Cooper that she thought rape was “sexy”.

Seems as if E(lizabeth) Jean is going full bullet-train speed on the Hot Mess Express. Her latest stop? Vanity Fair in an interview where she discusses her decision to go “on the record” about the Berdorf’s incident and now, being in the limelight.

Carrol claims to be a very “private” person but everything about this read screams “pay attention to me”!

Q: In the last week you have gone from living a pretty private life to being very much in the public eye. What has that been like?

E. Jean: Fabulous. Buoyant. It’s almost merry because of the support when I walk down the streets. It is incredibly heartwarming. I’ve been getting messages. I don’t read Twitter now. I’ve been off it, which is a miracle because I always would check Twitter, but I’m staying off. Many times [strangers on the street] don’t know what to say and they grip my arm, or they burst into tears, or they say, “I had a story. I couldn’t tell it. Thank you.” A group of men in their 20s, as I walked by, gave me the thumbs-up. As I was talking to somebody on the phone yesterday, a man just stood in front of me bowing as I talked on the phone. It was amazing. It was like he was standing in front of Queen Elizabeth.

I don’t know about you but I would say coming forward with such horrific an allegation such as rape would not make any woman feel “fabulously buoyant” or “merry”. Perhaps relieved, resolved, ready to move on and heal. A little mid-afternoon tryst in the dressing room at an upscale department store between two consenting adults may make someone feel “fabulously buoyant” but I have never quite heard of “just been raped” hair or of a woman who was raped refer to the act as “sexy”. There is nothing sexy about it. Carroll defended those words, too:

You know, somebody explained it much better than me. Joy Behar explained it. She went on The View and got into an argument and she was defending my vision of the word ‘rape’ being filled with sexual imagery. And fantasy connotations. She said everyone here has seen Gone With the Wind. She said, you know when Rhett Butler grabs Scarlett O’Hara and picks her up and carries her up the stairs? She’s fighting him. She is slugging his chest, and he is going to take her and he’s going to throw her down. They cut to a scene of her in bed as happy and rosy, and fulfilled as any woman. And many women have this fantasy.”-E. Jean Carroll

The rational (cough) ramblings of none other than Joy Behar.

E. Jean also elaborates on her book, What do We Need Men For? and some of her earlier escapades to include flashing one of her college professors and calling Roger Ailes, “the pearl of his sex”. Carroll also is endorsing Elizabeth Warren for 2020. She calls her “brave”, which I happen to think an interesting choice of words but we’ll just leave that right where it is for now.

Even though Carroll’s book is entitled “What do We Need Men For?”, she does claim that women do need men. How very gracious of her to note this. She also mentions that she has made the key men in her life “honorary women”.

We like them. We even love them. We just don’t need them to run everything. Also we need to put them in a special place and retrain them.”-E. Jean Carroll

Retrain them, she says. Like they’re all our pets. There is no “training” involved when two people have this little thing called respect for one another. But in the world of uber-feminism, that respect for men goes completely out the window and hence, some single women of today are stuck with either disrespectful thugs or wimpy soy boys with limp handshakes. They read their horoscopes and about the latest tricks to try in bed in Cosmo and ask people like E. Jean for life advice. What could possibly go wrong here?

One would think someone who knows so much about giving advice (albeit snarky) and “training men” would know how to do a good drop kick should someone try to assault her whilst trying on the latest Valentino in a dressing room. Ah, yes. That’s right. E. Jean is not calling this a rape now, she is calling it “a fight”:

That’s their word. As an advice columnist I have no compunction in telling a young woman, ‘Honey, you were raped. You better go to the police. Listen to Auntie E. That’s a crime. He’s a criminal.’ I say that. -E. Jean Carroll

Cuckoo, cuckoo, Jimmy Choo-Choo has departed the station and making stopovers everywhere she can be treated like the Queen of England. Well, E. Jean Carroll is right about something. She has no compunction.

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