Barstool Sports Guy Gives Epic Coronavirus Rant

Barstool Sports Guy Gives Epic Coronavirus Rant

Barstool Sports Guy Gives Epic Coronavirus Rant

In case you missed it, Barstool Sports founder Dave Portnoy gave an epic rant about those who would kill the economy to “flatten the curve” and “find a cure.”

Calling it his “Emergency Press Conference — When Did Flattening the Curve Turn into Finding the Cure,” the self-styled “El Presidente” of Barstool Sports let loose in a nearly 4-minute tirade. And it is glorious.

“What the f*ck’s going on? When did this become ‘flatten the curve,’ ‘flatten the curve,’ ‘flatten the curve’ to ‘we have to find a cure’ or everyone’s going to die?”

But Portnoy wasn’t done. Not by a long shot.

“‘We’re not opening the city until we find a cure?’ What?? Find a cure? Who says we’re gonna find a cure? We haven’t found a cure to cancer. It took AIDS 20 years — do we even have a cure? So the economy is just shut down?”

Here’s Barstool Sports El Presidente in a balls-to-the-wall rant, which, so you know, is full of profanities. So here’s your NSFW warning, provided, of course, you still go to work.

Portnoy did make one mistake in his tirade — it’s Sweden, not Switzerland, that decided not to shut down. But that’s forgivable, because El Presidente was on a magnificent roll.

Dave Portnoy isn’t the only person making epic coronavirus rants on social media. Port of Seattle police officer Greg Anderson seethed about having to arrest people who violate “social distancing” edicts. He says such rules violate constitutional rights.

“I want to remind you that regardless of where you stand on the coronavirus, we don’t have the authority to do those things to people just because a mayor or a governor tells you otherwise. We don’t get to violate people’s constitutional rights because somebody in our chain of command tells us otherwise.”

But because Anderson appeared on video in uniform and in his police car, the Seattle police put him on leave. For some he is a hero, while others say he was wrong to violate police standards.

How ironic it is, notes Chicago Tribune columnist John Kass, that cops are standing up for constitutional rights. Meanwhile, the American Civil Liberties Union says not a word. Is the ACLU even interested in the Bill of Rights anymore? asks Kass.

Guess who’s more than happy to help government bureaucrats in stamping out freedoms? Social media scolds, of course, who want to point out how you’re an idiot for wanting to go outside. Or, if you do go outside, they’ll try to shame you into wearing a mask every damn time you set foot in public. They’ll post such memes on Facebook to remind you, too.

barstool sports

In my view, political memes are the fool’s form of argument, using colorful images they think make cogent points. They can’t buttress their points with logic, so they think such bumper sticker philosophy suffices as “wisdom.” Frankly, I hate memes. Well, except for cat memes, but I digress.

I don’t know where the idiot who made the tornado meme lives, but I live in tornado country so I know a thing or two. First of all, it is our right to go outside to see a tornado. No law “makes” you stay inside. Hell, when my husband was a college student in Wichita, KS, he and his best friend used to chase the damn things in a Volkswagen Beetle.

And don’t get me started on face masks. So we’re to think of government orders to wear face masks as “an act of kindness,” not control? Since when does the government have a right to order anyone to perform an “act of kindness?” Not only that, when does the government do anything that resembles an “act of kindness,” anyway? Everything they touch is related to political gamesmanship. So let’s not give government the benefit of the doubt here.

If I wear a face mask, it’s because I’ve chosen to enter a store or fly on an airline which requires them. But if I go outside, or to a different store, that mask is staying off. And guess what? No one has shamed either me or my husband for not wearing face masks in public. Maybe it’s a Midwestern thing, I don’t know.

But meanwhile, the government continues its quest for power by moving goalposts. First, they asked us to help “flatten the curve.” Now they want to keep denying us freedom until they can find a cure. Not only that, but they have mainstream media and social media sycophants who are happy to shame Americans who don’t oblige. Barstool Sports El Presidente Dave Portnoy doesn’t have Winston Churchill’s eloquence, but his rant speaks for me and lots of other Americans. We’ve done what they’ve asked. But this bullshit has to end soon before it destroys our economy and our constitutional freedoms.


Featured image: Steven Miller/flickr/cropped/CC BY 2.0.

Written by

Kim is a pint-sized patriot who packs some big contradictions. She is a Baby Boomer who never became a hippie, an active Republican who first registered as a Democrat (okay, it was to help a sorority sister's father in his run for sheriff), and a devout Lutheran who practices yoga. Growing up in small-town Indiana, now living in the Kansas City metro, Kim is a conservative Midwestern gal whose heart is also in the Seattle area, where her eldest daughter, son-in-law, and grandson live. Kim is a working speech pathologist who left school system employment behind to subcontract to an agency, and has never looked back. She describes her conservatism as falling in the mold of Russell Kirk's Ten Conservative Principles. Don't know what they are? Google them!

1 Comment
  • DAVE says:

    I guess I’ll wear a raincoat so YOU don’t get soaked — “Kindness” is a buzzword for assenting to passive-aggressive dictats created by thoroughly conditioned sheeple. If a cashier wishes to wear a mask for self-protection, so be it — MY mask does not modify YOUR safety anyway — those using bandannas as “face diapers” are trying to stop mosquitoes with a chain-link fence… This is all just THEATER for the lib arts crowd who really have nothing to offer but their fear and compliance in a trite “we’re all in this together” fantasy. Hang tough and don’t buy the BS from the so-called authorities.

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