A Dark Night for Christian Bale

A Dark Night for Christian Bale

A Dark Night for Christian Bale

Christian Bale is familiar with going to dark places. In both his personal life and movie roles, he’s a dark person playing dark characters. Be it acting a murderous playboy in “American Psycho” or his history of “anger issues”, this man is definitely bedeviled by darkness. 

At last night’s Golden Globes, Christian Bale won “Best Actor in a Comedy” for his portrayal of Dick Cheney, in “Vice.” During his acceptance speech he thanked

“Satan for giving me inspiration on how to play this role.” Adding in that the former VP was “absolutely charisma-free and reviled by everybody.”

To quote “The Church Lady“, Enid Strict, “Well, isn’t that SPE-CIAL?!” So special that the actor noted for portraying a womanizing serial killer in “American Psycho”, thanks the lord of darkness for inspiration playing the VP. Logically one would think inspiration from Satan would be more appropriate for a murderous psycho. Then again, maybe his step-mom, Gloria Steinem, gave him pointers on how to be an “evil man.”

Satan is a “Wonderful Family Man”?

I wonder if Bale remembers what he has previously stated about the former VP,

“He was a wonderful family man — he’s a great dad, he’s an avid reader, he has a brain like a vice and he constantly reads history,” Bale told Fox News of Cheney at the premiere of “Vice” on Tuesday in Beverly Hills, Calif. ”He was very laid-back.”

Hmmm. So according to Bale, Satan is a “wonderful family man” and “very laid-back.” Okay. Somebody better alert the Pope that the anti-Christ isn’t all that bad. Then again, let’s look to the experts on Satan, the disciples in his “church.”

Hold up! The CoS doesn’t worship the Christian version of Satan?! Satanists are actually Atheists? But Atheists don’t believe in ANY God, gods, Gods….Higher Power. Wow, no wonder they follow a religion started by a guy wearing a pleather Batman costume. They are so confused.

So confused in fact, that the congratulatory Tweet highlights the characteristics of Satan, whom they would worship, if they weren’t atheists.

Satire, err Satanire… Church Lady Logic

Wow, I need a little “Church Lady” logic to make this sensical. Bale thanks Satan for the inspiration in playing a role. Presumably the Satan he’s referring to is the one held by Christians as the evil, soul stealing, Christ tempting, Beast of Revelations (AKA the Liberal’s perception of VP Cheney). However, the “Church” of Satan raises its pleather horned goat head, and tweets appreciation for the shout out to their namesake. The namesake they say predates the Christian definition. In a nutshell… Why couldn’t he just thank George Lucas and stick with the “Darth Vader” narrative so popular amongst Cheney’s detractors. No, he had to be “special” and “Unique” in his comparative gratitude.

Please remind Mr. Bale that “just because you’re unique, doesn’t make you useful.” Unless one is in Hollywood, the land of “Useful Idiots.” It’s no wonder most of the world thinks they’re nuts, and can’t take them seriously.  I suppose it’s better than thanking Xenu. If Bale’s not careful the Scientologist’s will be camped on his door looking for a “Thetan” count.

The Devil in the Mirror

If those Scientologists do show up, they can help address Mr.Bale’s personal demons. His history of anger and outbursts is legendary. According to Harrison Cheung, who worked for Bale as an assistant, the actor had a hair-trigger temper for as long as he knew him and that his family catered to him.

“Everything was about keeping Christian happy because he was the meal ticket,” Cheung said. “If something wasn’t just so, Christian would just erupt. He would yell until he was red in the face. It was very intimidating.”

Luchina Fischer, abcnews 2009

The on-set tirade during “Terminator Salvation” is four minutes long and expletive fueled.   Definitely Not Suitable for Sensitive Ears or Work. But it does support the tweet by Liz Cheney regarding Bale’s history of anger issues, during the time that he was accused of assault on his mother and sister.

The Devil Made Me Do It!

Christian Bale was right to thank the Devil for honing his inspiration in how to play the role. He played it like a narcissistic, charisma-free, jerk. Reviled by everybody. It was absolutely Christian Bale, made up to look like Dick Cheney. Too bad he missed the intellect, and laid back aspects attributed to the former VP. He nailed the smirk, but it seems that’s not a stretch for Mr. Bale.

Featured Image Credit: Narcissi Craig Victory Girls Blog

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"CC" to her friends. Recent escapee from Northern VA to the Great State of Texas. I'm a Pro-LIfe, Pro-Gun, Libertarian type... There is very little that fresh lime juice and good tequila can't fix.

  • jorod says:

    Next he can play Hilary. That will be much easier.

  • StevenV says:

    Wow. And he was so good in The Flowers of War, where he impersonated a Catholic priest in order to save a group of schoolgirls from the Japanese during the Rape of Nanking. What was his inspiration for that role?

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