It’s about that time we take a little trip down to The Peoples’ Republic of Portland where they’re keeping it crazy. A certain last name has been the latest trigger for families and students. So much so, a whole school district has decided to rename some of their schools.

The current name associated with the latest uproar is the surname, “Lynch”. According to Centennial School District Superintendent, Paul Coakley, this particular surname is associated by many families who are new to the school “with America’s violent racial history”. From The Oregonian:

The schools, part of the Centennial School District, were named for the Lynch family, which donated land over a century ago to build the first of the schools.-The Oregonian

Lynch Meadows, Lynch Wood and Lynch View elementary schools will shed their “Lynch” before the upcoming school year in response to “growing concern about the word’s racial connotations”.

Here we go again, folks. I am by no means making light of a very dark period of our history and the horrific practices of lynching. But to be completely honest, I feel as if schools all over the place are in a race to see who wins the “Progressive School of the Year” trophy. Wait a second…I forgot that we’re not giving out trophies anymore because trophies are unfair and imply that someone else may be more superior in a task. They get the participation award for “inclusiveness” and “diversity”. The sad thing is that there are people who probably think changing the name of the “Lynch” schools is a phenomenal idea. Some of these educators are probably wishing they had a “Lynch” school in their district right about now so they can go and change its name!

Members of the mostly-white Centennial School Board agreed, coming to a consensus that the names should be changed at a board meeting in mid-July. They plan to pass a resolution officially discontinuing the use of “Lynch” on the schools’ signs, stationary, web sites and in oral references at their next board meeting on August 9.

The interesting piece of this argument to completely erase the name “Lynch” from these schools is Superintendent Coakley’s claim that “there were an increasing amount of questions and some complaints from families of color around the name.” Coakley is African-American, raised in the Portland area. You know what? Why stop at “Lynch”? Let’s change names of all schools-elementary, junior high, high school-whatever- who have the surnames “Black” or “White” in them, too! I am certain the names of those schools are upsetting the children and we cannot have a hostile learning environment, can we? They are, after all, trying to avoid such a thing. Why else would they be calling out a “racist” surname?! See? If it were just us dumb people sitting around at the board meetings, we would have let this name, Lynch, an apparent trigger, just pass us by. We need to let our families know about the racial divide in the past and how it exists today and that starts by eliminating any school name that contains “Lynch” in its title.

If “families were upset” and their children were therefore upset by the name “Lynch”, perhaps it’s time for the families and the educators to do some, uh, educating. I know, what a novel concept. They will learn that the Lynch family was a prominent family who donated the land to be used for the schools years ago. Education starts in the home and if parents are up-in-arms about a last name, perhaps they should be doing some soul searching before projecting their beliefs onto children who then perpetuate the racial divide by projecting their parents’ whacked-out beliefs on other kids . Nothing good, we can assure these hyper-sensitive parents and some of these hyper-sensitive overpaid school administrators, can come out of projecting these beliefs onto young minds who don’t see color of skin and who simply see the name of their school as someone’s last name. Thanks, administrators. You’ve now perpetuated the racial divide. Geniuses.

The resolution proposes the schools be referred to as “Meadows”, “Wood” and “View” in all correspondence at the start of the school year. So much for Loretta Lynch getting a school named after her in the Centennial School District! My guess is any child from here on out who claims he or she goes to “Lynch View” will be expelled for saying the “L” word. I’m not sure if some of these brainy peeps who are collecting salaries off of tax dollars know that most secondary students have enough common sense to know the difference between a person’s family last name and a verb. Let’s hope they do, anyway. In some cases, the future for them looks pretty bleak.