As November looms upon us, Democrats are struggling to find the difference between the “soccer moms” and the “suburban mom”.

This comes as no shock to us as we know the Democrats have a hard enough time defining what is a (true) woman. To be honest, we’re shocked they’re even using the term, “mom” and not the more politically correct “birthing person”, but I digress. Can they define a suburb, even?

According to this from The Hill, both pResident Biden and former President Trump are fighting for the suburban woman voter, but she is not the minivan-driving “soccer mom” caricature that she was in the ’90s in the good ol’ Bill Clinton/Bob Dole days.

The white, college-educated women often described by the ‘suburban’ label are a coveted group thought of as ‘likely to move with the times’ and turn out to vote, and they’re still set to be key in 2024. But the diversity of women in the suburbs – and even the attitudes of the suburbs’ white women with college degrees — appear to have shifted in recent years amid new pressures and social norms, experts said.”-Julia Mueller, The Hill

The ‘burbs have become more ethnically diverse. We’re complicated with our college degrees and our different cultures and colors and belief systems. I agree the suburbs are not all-white, minivan-driving soccer moms. Yes, we have those. I have a dear friend who is one of them.

I do remember being a garage band-loving-university-student-waiting-tables-back-in-the-’90s that I would never (shudder to think) become a minivan-driving soccer mom (I became an SUV-driving wrestling mom with an MBA instead). We can all agree the political climate in the suburbs looks different than it may have looked in the ’90s.

So even the mom that drives her kids to soccer is doing it with her cellphone on, holding a meeting on Zoom.”- Marcie Paul, chair of the Michigan-based group Fems for Dems

I would hope she’s not holding a meeting on Zoom while driving a damn car because that’s just stupid but Marcie has a point. Some of us “suburban moms” are doing more these days. We’re working because food and gas are so darn expensive (Wonder why that is?) and helping to pay off our bills. I know how this woman votes.

‘Starbucks mom,’ ‘waitress mom’ and ‘Walmart mom’ popped up as labels in later cycles, largely referring to white suburban women more pressed by the economy than the soccer moms before them.”-Julia Mueller, The Hill

I’m also good friends with a woman who had to become one of these “Walmart Moms” for a time to support her three children after a horrible divorce.

But Democrats, despite this, are still having a hard time clumping these “suburban women” into a category. This question is not a new one. The New York Times pondered this during midterms as well:

The “soccer mom” was born a cliché, dubbed the new center of the electorate: a white, married, suburban swing voter who secured re-election for Bill Clinton in 1996. Ahead of this Election Day, we examined: Does the “soccer mom” still exist? Did she ever? https://t.co/zrTXy7zHHf

— The New York Times (@nytimes) November 6, 2022

They’re becoming more diverse, and also, the motherhood component maybe isn’t as strong as it once was.” –Betsy Fischer Martin, American University

The “motherhood component” has been brought to us by The Democrats, by the way. Why raise a child when you can kill it? Why raise a child when the public school system and The State can do it for you? They’re doing such an awesome job of this, aren’t they?

Now, my child-rearing days are over and my son is getting ready to exit the public school system and embark upon his college journey. I’m still in the suburbs. What do they call women like me?

We don’t really have any catchy names for the women who are over 50, who are very participatory in politics.” -Michele Swers,Georgetown University

Hey, Michele? I have one: “Sick of All The Bulls#it Moms”.

While campaigns, struggle to still define women and put us into a neat little box in the suburbs, there are still women who are Democrats in the suburbs. The “Chardonnay Moms“, we will call them. They planned “revenge” back in 2020 against Trump. They claimed to be “The Resistance”.

This “Resistance” got us to where we are now. A dumbass who has us tangled up in two foreign wars, whose administration and constituents are responsible for children who are struggling in school, becoming socially awkward and questioning their identity. This “Resistance” is responsible for racial division and discord at an all-time high, for illegal criminals breaching our borders and for deadly drugs killing our children in our suburbs.

The deadly drugs are sparse in their suburbs. The horrific behaviors in schools and poor student performance does not happen in their suburbs. The illegal immigrants and homeless drug addicts are not camped out on their lawns or streets, I assure you. As a “suburban mom” living just outside of Seattle/Tacoma metro, I will tell you that my community has seen the effects of the Democrats and their constituents. My guess is “suburban moms” in the most liberal town in Washington State, Vashon Island, have not experienced the same. It’s easy to vote for platforms that are damaging to the rest of the suburbs when you live on an island only accessible by ferry. They can drive their kids to soccer practice in their Volvos and not be concerned of them kicking around a heroin needle or tripping over the multiple pieces of aluminum foil used to smoke fentanyl. Their kids’ class sizes are small. They don’t have to worry about a crazy, tweaked-out person, who should be institutionalized instead of given free needles, smashing in their car windows or passing out on their lush, green lawns. They may not need a weapon in a biometric safe in case a crazy person comes to their door. In fact, everyone is welcome in their little, oblivious bubble. They don’t have to worry about gas and food prices because they have their families’ generational wealth (AKA Mommy and Daddy’s money.) They can vote, jump in their kayaks on a sunny PNW weekend and muse at the utter trash pile that the mainland Seattle Metro has turned into across the Puget Sound. Oh, the irony that the theater in Vashon had a post-COVID screening of 1984 back in the day. The concept was completely lost on most of those nitwits.

This “suburban mom” is not like these, clueless, oblivious and yes, obnoxious “suburban moms” who voted for Democrats in 2020.

Women broadly still have spectators in suspense over which side they’ll lean toward — or whether they’ll pick a third-party candidate — but experts are optimistic that they’ll turn out in force in 2024.”-Julia Mueller, The Hill

My friend, the “Soccer Mom”? I know how she votes. My friend, the “Walmart Mom”? I also know how she votes. As for me, the pissed-off 50+ Mom with a post-graduate education? I sure as hell know how I am voting. We are sick and tired and have our own “Resistance” forming and yes, we need to turn out in force.

Call us whatever the hell you want, but we’re not voting for the Democrats.

Photo Credit: CC BY 2.0 Generic

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