If you spent two hours watching the second GOP debate, then salute, friend. It was a LONG couple of hours.

As Nina covered earlier, the debate was a trainwreck within the first half hour. There were too many candidates on the stage, too many moderators trying to control the candidates, and the rules were absolutely trampled underfoot. That being said, here is who I think won this round, and who lost this round.

Winner: Ron DeSantis
While no one ran away with this debate, DeSantis may have gotten the closest to a clean debate out of the entire field. His answers were very focused on results, and kept the focus where it belonged: attacking Joe Biden’s record. However, DeSantis did say that Donald Trump needs to start showing up to defend his own record. And DeSantis’s best moment of the night was when he responded directly to Donald Trump’s comments on abortion and heartbeat laws.

Donald Trump is missing in action tonight.

He should be here explaining his comments saying that pro-life protections are somehow a “terrible thing.”

We’re better off when everybody counts — and we should stand for what we believe in. pic.twitter.com/b5lD6LhKqP

— Ron DeSantis (@RonDeSantis) September 28, 2023

Winner: Chris Christie
As strange as it seems, Christie did well enough tonight that he will likely make it to a third debate. His only real “dumb” line was in name-calling Donald Trump.

#RepublicanDebate @FoxNews @GovChristie

"Donald Trump should be here…but he’s not…

You’re ducking these things; you keep doing and no one’s going to call you Donald Trump anymore.

We’re going to call you Donald Duck." pic.twitter.com/MY3QZ5QKfy

— Heather Champion (@winningatmylife) September 28, 2023

Just… no. However, that really was Christie’s only flub of the night. The rest of the time, he focused on his own record, and also gave a moving answer about being pro-life after DeSantis’s comments.

Winner: Vivek Ramaswamy
Another surprising twist. Vivek took a lot of fire during the first debate, and while he raised his profile, he left the impression of being hopelessly obnoxious. He tried a different tack tonight, and decided to invoke Ronald Reagan’s 11th commandment. While some on the stage openly scoffed at Vivek when he said it, he did mostly live by that commandment. Vivek also had an interesting exchange with Nikki Haley regarding TikTok. Now, people can reasonably disagree about TikTok’s dangers, but Vivek wasn’t wrong when he said that’s where the kids and the young people are. We have talked about how the GOP is consistently conceding ground to young Democrats like AOC because they go where the views are. If the GOP can’t figure out how to reach young voters, we won’t have a party in the future.

Loser: Nikki Haley
Nikki Haley did well in the first GOP debate, and her numbers showed a positive bounce afterward. Apparently, she thought if she got louder and more strident, it would go even BETTER for her. Instead, she came off harsh, shrill, and annoying. She picked a fight with Ramaswamy that wasn’t necessary over TikTok – you can disagree without yelling, Nikki. And she weirdly accused Ron DeSantis of banning fracking in Florida – except that it was a law passed by voters in Florida.
https://twitter.com/ChristinaPushaw/status/1707225146044330178
I think Nikki Haley imploded tonight, and I’m not sure if she recovers from this.

Loser: Tim Scott
Tim Scott is a perfectly nice person, but he doesn’t have enough fire or zip to be president of the United States – or even vice president. Scott and Haley also tangled, which was deeply odd to watch – and yet, it was probably coming. After all, they are both competing for the South Carolina primary votes.

This weird fight did not help either of them, and I don’t know if Scott has enough momentum to keep going in this primary.

Loser: Mike Pence
Mike. Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, MIKE. Do NOT make comments like this after Chris Christie was making a valid point about Joe Biden’s close ties to the teachers’ unions.

“Let’s tell the truth, everybody, about what this is,” Christie remarked. “The public school system is no longer run by the public. It is run by the teachers unions in this country. [American Federation of Teachers President] Randi Weingarten and her crew are absolutely strangling — they are taking the worst of their members and defending them rather than advocating for our kids.”

“And when you have the president of the United States sleeping with a member of the teachers union, there is no chance that you can take the stranglehold away from the teachers union every day. They have an advocate inside the White House every day for the worst of their teachers, not for our students to be the best they can be. A president of the United States has to take on the teacher’s union.”

Christie’s statement Wednesday night was then followed up by former Vice President Mike Pence boasting in a one-liner of his own that he has been sleeping with a teacher, his wife Karen Pence, for 38 years.

“I’ll stand up for the safety and the civil liberties of every American from every background and I want the American people to know that,” Pence stated.

“But I want to answer the question as well that you just asked because by way of full disclosure, Chris, you’ve mentioned the president’s situation. My wife isn’t a member of the teachers union, but I got to admit, I have been sleeping with a teacher for 38 years — full disclosure. But education is a state and local function.”

Ewwwwwwww no. No no no. Pence also had a weird moment when asked about mass shootings. In advocating for a special death penalty for mass shooters, he referenced the Parkland shooter – and seemingly blamed Ron DeSantis for the fact that the shooter got a life sentence instead of the death penalty. Uh, last I checked, DeSantis is governor of Florida, not Caesar, and does not get to decide who lives and dies with a thumbs up or down.

Both of Pence's swipes against DeSantis are not based in fact. And I bet he knew that.

Really poor here from the guy who is supposed to be a moral voice on stage. https://t.co/c62iFZvSKt

— Ellen Carmichael (@ellencarmichael) September 28, 2023

Loser: Doug Burgum
In an alternate universe, Doug Burgum would be treated as a serious candidate. In this universe, he won’t qualify for the debate stage next time. He has plenty of good ideas and has done well as governor of North Dakota, but even the moderators treated him like an afterthought. He tried to speak up and get his voice heard, but it didn’t work well for him. Burgum barely qualified for this debate, and in later years, he will be an interesting and obscure Trivial Pursuit question. But he won’t be president.

The biggest losers of the night: the moderators
Dana Perino, Stuart Varney, and Ilia Calderón lost control of the entire debate format. There were too many candidates on the stage, and too many moderators to play referee. The reaction to the final question by Perino was roundly panned by candidate and observer alike.

SERIOUSLY? Fox pretends it's a game show and asks candidates to play Survivor by voting one other candidate "off the island" pic.twitter.com/69J0yAu1HA

— TheBlaze (@theblaze) September 28, 2023

Because DeSantis refused to play their game, he was pretty much the only candidate that got any semblance of a closing statement. Absolutely no one enjoyed that debate, and if the moderators had exercised more control and tightened up the topics to allow, oh, you know, ACTUAL DEBATE, it would have been a better night for everyone.

What a disaster. Honorable mention for loser for the night: Ronna McDaniel. The GOP chair had better tighten this crap up and narrow the field well before the next debate – or what is even the point of HAVING these debates?

Featured image: original Victory Girls art by Darleen Click