Oh, are the reactions of the elite Tinsel Town celebrities to the Trump victory something! Not as yummy as a high-test cup of dark, steaming coffee this dark, Left Coast morning…but close.

There were the monologues by Stephen Colbert and Jimmy Kimmel.

More than half of this country voted for the criminal who is planning to pardon himself for his crimes. I guess this election wasn’t rigged.

It was a terrible night for women, for children, for the hundreds of thousands of hard-working immigrants who make this country go, for health care, for our climate, for science, for journalism, for justice, for free speech.”-Jimmy Kimmel

A terrible night for women, says the guy who, once upon a time, helped create The Man Show’s “Juggy Girls”. As far as health care goes? Replace “health care” with “unlimited abortions”. The climate? Have you taken a private jet at any point in your life, Jimmy? Science? See the previous point and Google carbon footprints, genius. Here’s a tip: BUY A TESLA!

And journalism and free speech? Are you freaking kidding me, dude?!

As far as “journalism” goes in our country, I would say the evening of November 5th, 2024, will go down in history. Narratives destroyed. Cover-ups unveiled. The free people spoke volumes on Tuesday night. They were completely unadulterated and uninhabited by gate keepers, fact-checkers and sanctimonious, D.C. cocktail party press cronies.

This is a win. Keep crying, lil’ Jimmy…

It was a terrible night for poor people, for the middle class, for seniors who rely on social security, for our allies in Ukraine, for NATO, for the truth, and democracy and decency.”-Jimmy Kimmel

A terrible night for poor people and the middle class who’ve had to knead the dough until payday and ration bacon to their kids. Roger that, bro.

Seth Meyers decided to talk about what a learned, “good person” he is:

I don’t think Donald Trump’s a good person. I’d even go so far as to say he’s a bad person.

Now, in my defense, I’m only basing that on everything I’ve ever been taught about what makes someone good or bad. That’s it. That’s the only thing I’m basing it on.”-Seth Meyers

Says the guy who made jokes about JD Vance and a couch.

The celebrities ran the gamut, they weren’t just late night hosts. Jamie Lee Curtis:

Wake up and fight for women and our children and their futures. Fight against tyranny, one day at a time. One fight at a time. One protest at a time. That’s what it means to be an American. That’s what it has always meant and will always mean regardless of the outcome.”-Jamie Lee Curtis

Does that include unborn women and children, Jamie? Because, if so, that IS what happened. One fight at a time. One protest at a time. Does this mean you’re opening up your street for the latest window-smashing, buildings-a-burning riot?

Jamie? Jamie? Are you there?

Yeah, didn’t think so.

I know y’all are dying to hear CardiB’s take on this:

I hate y’all bad.”-CardiB

Did she read that from her phone?

— Rock/Hard Place (@txtarheeldad) November 6, 2024

CardiB, in a follow-up post, did elaborate and share more, umm, (cough) intellectual musings about how Kamala showed her that “anything is possible”. I mean, look at where Kamala Harris started in her hum
ble beginnings as Willie Brown’s mistress? Anything is possible. A former stripper who had a hit entitled “WAP”, and drugged and robbed men (she’s empowered, y’all) can get up on a podium and sound like an illiterate fool stumping for Willie Brown’s former sidepiece.

Ariana Grande offered to virtually “hold hands” with everyone who is feeling heaviness. The ladies of The View, had their own pity party and our Toni actually sat through a painful episode.

One Tree Hill star Sophia Bush:

Great job giving the MAGA gang more power, America. Wonder how many folks are seeing this and STILL saying ‘But but but at least he’s not a Black woman!’ in the privacy of their homes tonight.”-Sophia Bush

Sophia, please stop. Your ignorance is showing. This was NEVER about the color of Kamala Harris’ skin. Not one bit. This was about her sheer “falling upwards” into a position she obviously could not handle as a VP. This was about HER performance record over the past three years. I know it’s hard in that pretty little head of yours to not picture a bunch of inbred, toothless KKK supporters in backwoods West Virginia that make up ALL of the America you DON’T know but really, think about what you say.

Next? Succession actor Dagmara Dominczyk:

Trump won because the majority of Americans are ignorant enough to choose a corrupt, unhinged felon born with a silver spoon in his nasty mouth over a woman of colour. That’s it. Nothing else mattered to them. It’s disgusting, shameful, and clear as day.”-Dagmara Dominczyk

Says a woman who immigrated to this country with her family in search of a better life. Joe Biden and his family are felons, too. Kamala Harris was not the “middle class kid” she claims to be. She attended private schools, which are expensive. She went to college and pledged a sorority. Sorority and Panhellenic dues are expensive. And, really? We’re going to talk about nasty mouths here? I will refrain from any further crude comments but read between the lines on this one.

Lili Reinhart, star of Riverdale, cannot get over Trump’s pu$$y remark from 2016:

I cannot fathom the feeling of the women who came forward about their sexual assault at the hands of Trump. Seeing millions of people vote for their abuser. My heart, absolutely, breaks for these women. I believe you, and I am so sorry.”-Lili Reinhart

Lily? You know who’s NOT sorry? MY selfish-prick, former abuser ex from the 90s. HE chose Kamala and now claims to be an advocate of women. So, please. Spare me the theatrics and the BS.

Then there’s Ben Stiller:

Not for you! pic.twitter.com/PsMgkpXORP

— Jason from Attleboro (@JFromAttleboro) November 6, 2024

Will the coast ever be clear of rapist pedophile celebrities who get hopped-up on cocaine brought over the unchecked borders and the people who mindlessly listen to what they have to say? We can only hope. The coasts will never be free-and-clear, though. They all are so bad at this…which makes all of this so deliciously good.