Leave it to Salon to rant about the patriarchy again. This little ditty comes from senior writer, Mary Elizabeth Williams. The gist of things: it’s soooo hard to be a boy mom and a feminist.

Mary Elizabeth of Salon sits down with Ruth Whippman, author of “America the Anxious” and “Boy Mom: Reimagining Boyhood in the Age of Impossible Masculinity”. Whippman is a mom of three boys. Salon has already painted this article as a “how to” lure our boys away from the “abyss” that is “harming us all across the gender spectrum”, so we know where this is going. To Hell in a hand basket at Mach Eleventy. The conversation right out of the gate goes something like this:

You would think that it was a feature of having three children of the same sex, but even from the very first, it felt like a little disappointing to people when I said, ‘We’re having a boy.’ You could tell the reaction was kind of muted. Then people would say, ‘Oh, well, you can try again. You’ll have a little sister next time.’ That sort of thing. Then there were all these sort of threads online for you know about gender disappointment, and they’re pretty much about mothers who are pregnant with boys.’-Ruth Whippman

Well, I would say that, at the very least, Mary Elizabeth of Salon and Ruth Whippman acknowledged there is a gender distinction between boys and girls. It’s interesting to note how they like to draw this distinction across the “gender spectrum” at the most convenient times. But gender disappointment?! C’mon MAN!

Mary Elizabeth of Salon makes another attempt to smash the patriarchy with this response:

I think, for mothers, there’s this idea that you don’t want to disappoint your family by not giving it sons, whereas the idea that you’re bringing other men into the world is treated like a collective disappointment.”-Mary Elizabeth Williams, Salon

Moms of sons on here? Was this the first thing you thought of when you found out the little baby growing inside of you was a baby boy? “Ohmigosh! I am giving the world another TOXIC MAN!” What planet do these women live on?

Whippman discusses her thoughts in more depth. She says, in the interview, that she feels her “tribe” (the liberal progressives), at times, abandoned her kids. They do not care about what is going to happen to them. She’s correct in that assumption. They don’t care and it is obvious. But we will get to that in a moment.

I wanted to look at where we are going wrong with male socialization that we’ve allowed this to become completely normalized. That sexual violence is just normal fact of life. And not just sexual violence, but all kinds of other violence and incels and school shooters and the manosphere. Where are we going wrong and on a systemic level?”-Mary Elizabeth Whipple

The manosphere? Where are we going wrong on a systemic level? Oh, let us count the ways! Put a pin in this, too. Salon throws in the patriarchy again and how it harms men and boys. Men are so challenged relationally, according to this, and it’s all because of the patriarchy. Young men do not have any close friends at all. They have to put on the “performance of masculinity”. They “blame feminism for everything”. They are-GASP-“leaning more Conservative”. They are “privileged”. And not only is there “toxic masculinity” playing a role here, there is “sub-toxic masculinity”.

It might be the difference between wrestling and roughhousing with your boy and sitting and talking to your girl about her emotions. Or you giving your boys stories about battles and fighting and competition, and giving your girls stories about relationships and friendships.”-Ruth Whippman

Salon mentions wrestling again about one paragraph down. Clearly, wrestling brings out “toxic masculinity”. The abyss.

As a proud “Boy Mom” of a very level-headed, decidedly male young man who is going to graduate high school in a week, I have this to say to Salon:

I was more than happy to “give” the man I love a son. For me, due to complications, there was no option to try for little-sister-dash-two and I was thankful to God for blessing us with one child. When I found out we were having a boy, I was happy. I would have been happy no matter what the gender of my child was. God gave me the greatest gift ever. Never once did I think that I was going to give birth to another “toxic male” because he wasn’t a sperm bank baby, my husband and I created him and my husband is a loving, rational and honorable man. As I watched this little three-pound baby boy grow up in the blink of an eye, I saw, and have been able to help shape his character. He is an intelligent and caring young man, wise beyond his years, a four-year Varsity-lettered WRESTLER.

What he learned from the chosen sport of “toxic masculinity” these two nut jobs point out in Salon are invaluable lessons. He learned his wins are his wins, his losses are his losses. He learned not to place the blame on anything or anyone else for this. He learned to shake hands with his opponent and leave all animosity on the mat. He learned perseverance, commitment, strength, grit and honor. He learned to support the young men alongside of him in all endeavors-not just at sporting events-but in life. He learned how powerful he can be. This has driven him into a passion for living healthy; mentally and physically.

In addition how wrestling shaped him, he’s developed lasting friendships in a group of young men who supported, encouraged and cheered for one another on and off the mat. On the subject of friendships, he has maintained a lasting friendship with his best bud from third grade who moved across the country. They are like brothers. He has maintained a friendship with his girl BFF since Kindergarten and has advised her multiple times to exit a toxic and abusive relationship (she finally did).

If this is “toxic masculinity”, I would hate to see what “healthy” looks like in the libosphere. In the liberal/progressive bubble, it’s probably this:

And, let’s not forget this narrative ahead of a critical election:

It’s time to admit that toxic masculinity drives gun violence https://t.co/QspkmcfMwp pic.twitter.com/HLvJKgKcz0

— Salon (@Salon) June 13, 2016

Salon dares to point out the dangers of parenting boys on a systemic level. If we want to talk “systemic”, let’s talk relationships between boys and girls:

My son, for one, has largely avoided a long-term relationship with girls in high school. Ultimately, he wants to find “the one he can spoil” with love and gifts and be in it for the long run. He has not found that yet. High school girls are too busy taking pictures on Instagram in seductive poses (thank you feminism and pop culture liberals for over-sexualizing everything) and making bad decisions with young men who do not respect them. Some of these girls are shallow, superficial, little twits, who, in turn, don’t respect these young men or respect other young women their age. The cattiness and back-biting are real. Cheating is rampant in some of these high school circles. The girls toy with these young men’s emotions, claim to love Jesus, but trade up for “better” on the regular. As a result, some of these young men become more angry, jaded and, at times, suicidal.

The liberal/progressive big machine has abandoned them-all of them. Salon is correct in that assumption. Promoting sexually promiscuous behavior in young women at the same time of reciting the narrative that all men are “inherently misogynistic” (they can’t help it) is a recipe for disaster for not just young men, but for young women. Promoting that it’s okay to “question” your gender and it is wrong for you to be decidedly male or female is maddening.

But, I will say this. If parents are largely dependent upon a society, an ideology, “the system”, to shape our young boys into men, this is a parenting FAIL. The “patriarchy” will not ruin your son. Society will not ruin your son. Masculinity will not ruin your son. Wrestling will not ruin your son. Reading the Bible will not ruin your son. Voting for a Republican will not ruin your son. It’s time we place ownership where it belongs.

The hands that rock the cradle, rock the world. It’s not “systemic” at all. Parents, take heed. Take ownership. Take accountability for your kids. They’re watching.

Photo Credit: Albert Edelfelt, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons/Cropped

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