Obama Teams Up With Mark Hamill To promote His Death Star

Obama Teams Up With Mark Hamill To promote His Death Star

Obama Teams Up With Mark Hamill To promote His Death Star

“May The Fourth be with you”, says Obama who stands next to Mark Hamill (AKA “Luke Skywalker”) to promote his new eyesore library.

The former President joined “forces” with the actor, who is famous for one movie alone, for a promotion of sorts.

Note, the dialogue. Cue the Star Wars score:

Obama: Mark, I am glad you are here. I want to tell you about someone.

Hamill: (nods) Okay…

Obama: A young person born into ordinary circumstances but restless, unsatisfied. A kid with big dreams. A bit of a rebel.

Hamill: I like where this is going…

Obama: They join a scrappy group of underdogs and set out to change things.”

Hamill: By blowing up a giant space laser (POOOF!)

(Music stops.)

Obama: Mark, this is not about you…

Because it’s about Barack. (Isn’t it always?) It’s about the “messiah”. Now Barack Obama goes on to say it’s about the YOUTH. Because it’s not a monument to his legacy, you see. It’s a gateway to theirs.

The Obama Presidential Center is much more than a museum, it’s an entire campus, built to empower you. A place to come together, get inspired, and become a force..for change.”-Barack Obama

Paraphrasing here: It’s an entire campus built to indoctrinate you. A place to come together and pour fuel on the fire of future rioters and looters. Oops-I mean-“community organizers”.

MAGA Mom jokes are strong, they are…

But, actually, this tall, ugly temple to Obama’s ego is no laughing matter. As the roof was raised at the Obama Monument, families Barack Obama falsely claims to “champion” were priced out of their very communities.

The Obama Center is not being built for Chicago. It’s being built for the world. …[And the people of the world] don’t want us here. So what do you think is going to happen?”-Chicago resident

The “privately funded” building is NOT for the children. IT’s for Barack Obama and HIS world stage. I honestly wonder if the rest of the world thinks all of us are this vainglorious and tacky. Honestly, an embarrassment it is.

The museum also features a whole floor dedicated to Michelle Obama (of course it does). If you’re restless and unsatisfied, this is your place, oh Padawans! Here, you get to look at the face of a woman who is perpetually unsatisfied despite all of the fortune and blessings God gave her on this earth. Right. We’re not talking God. True Star Wars fans believe in science.

But, let’s zone in on Mark Hamill for but a second. Remember when he took that cheap #goforceyourself shot at Ivanka Trump’s KID because he dared to dress as a Storm Trooper? Mr. Hamill not only looked a little bit stoned in his collar with BHO (no doubt they may have “choomed” before the video was filmed), he looks like a freaken slob. Mark? #goforceyourself to take a shower you mindless philosopher and overweight glob of grease..

Our only hope…

The Obama Trashcan is Mark’s only hope. After all, he almost left America after Trump was elected this last time around. He thought about joining Rosie O’Donnell in Ireland but has decided to inflict himself on the U.S.A. for a while longer.

As far as “hope” and “inspiration” for the young ones. You’d better HOPE you all can afford to get in. A ticket for this “gateway” on the (now gentrified) Southside will cost about $30 bucks.

Once you start down the dark path, it will forever dominate your destiny.”-Yoda

Perhaps, if we’re lucky, Barack and Michelle will host an A-lister event at the venue. They can cram all of the Met Gala idiots in. The only think that would make this unsightly piece of architecture a sight to behold is if it maybe, magically, in a freakish story of Biblical proportions, propels itself off the ground and shoots itself into space-taking them all to a galaxy far, far, away.

Our guess is the aliens don’t even want them.

So over May The Fourth. Have a margarita, I will.

Feature Photo Credit: Original artwork by Victory Girls Darleen Click

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