Nathan and the “Alleged” School Bully – and the Cowards in Public Schools

Nathan and the “Alleged” School Bully – and the Cowards in Public Schools

Author’s note:  I received permission from Nate’s mom to publish this post, since Nate is underage and I wouldn’t compromise his or his family’s privacy.  Nate is the friend of a friend of mine….Garrett Pittman, another great kid.  They play football together.  Garrett’s Mom let me know about this event and it infuriated me so much, I was compelled to blog about it….it is a small story in the grand scheme of things going on in this country right now…but illustrates what’s happening in the public school systems around the country.  Every damn day. 

This post is about Nathan Downy from Moreno Valley, CA.  A great student, a great kid, with a great family. A normal seventh-grade boy, looking forward to summer vacation starting at the end of this week.

But it’s also about public schools where bureaucratic baloney and political and cowardly “correctness” has trounced the common sense required by school administrations to deal with every increasing bullying and violence toward innocent victims.

Nathan had been hounded by the “alleged” school bully before, but did his best to stay out of the “alleged” bully’s way.  Until the “alleged” bully broke his jaw in two places when the “alleged” bully cold-cocked him as Nate went for a basketball.  So Nate’s summer vacation has turned into reconstructive surgery, pain, a liquid diet and knowing that he faces more surgery as he grows older, to continue to repair the damage.

Here’s the Local news report and video about what happened to Nate. I don’t think an actual broken jaw is “alleged”…. do you?  See, I’m having a bit of a problem about the use of the word….”alleged”.

Furthermore, Nate could not contact his parents until he filled out an “alleged” incident form.  I hope the “alleged” blood splatters on the report or Nate’s “alleged” pain didn’t distress the school personnel too terribly, I mean calling your parents immediately if you were bleeding and your jaw was sidewise on your face.

When I was a kid, (and I suspect many of us had the same experience) I had a bully torment me.  I told my parents, and my Dad gave me some….guidance…on how to handle it.  So, when this little weasel started pushing me around, I laid into him.  Of course, being the coward he was, he was crying and wailing and his parents were furious and came to the school for a big showdown.  The parents of said weasel wanted the principal to do something about it, meaning…punish me.  The principal, who understood who the real victim was, said, “So?  Teach your son to stop picking on students, particularly girls that can whip his butt, and this won’t happen.”  Ah…my eyes grow misty thinking of the time when school principals got to be the real leaders of a school, teachers weren’t cowering behind bureaucratic and NEA bullshit, and parents could teach their kids how to handle bullies, and kids could learn how to handle tough situations in life.  And the severe and swift consequences if you didn’t behave.  So far, this “alleged” bully got, let’s see….3 days suspension.

But these days schools have to contend with more important and pressing matters.  Like a three year old deaf boy whose signed name looks like a gun.

The statist nannies wring their hands at imagined incidents yet when a student is attacked and a jaw is broken, they are helpless.

They sternly state “zero tolerance for violence at our school!”  And “we are anti-bully!”  Yet when it happens, they deal with it timidly, and inappropriately.  Then ask for yet more regulation.  More laws, more rules, more signs that say, “Zero Tolerance!”….which, by the way, I don’t think any bully ever reads.  Assuming they can read.

I can’t really fault the individuals employed at the school, although they should have, absolutely, without question, called the parents FIRST.  Public school teachers and administrators have to be much more than their job description in this cultural environment.  They have to be translators, referees, child psychologists, and babysitters.   They are unable to teach or administrate effectively because they are forced by local, state, and federal law to follow nonsensical rules and essentially have been given children that have little to no parental guidance or care.  Public schools have become huge daycares for children of people who are more interested in the latest iPhone and Kim Kardashian’s love life than teaching their kids about decency and respect for others.

Bullies don’t grow up in a bubble.  I’ll bet you a bag of doughnuts that the “alleged” family of the “alleged” bully take no personal responsibility for themselves or their children.  I’ll bet you TWO bags of doughnuts it’s not the first incident the “alleged” bully has been a part of….and because “alleged” bully  wasn’t punished severely enough the previous times, “alleged” bully has learned there are no consequences to his actions.  “Alleged” bully was smart enough to wait until the last few days of school to attack Nate, knowing all he’d get was suspension.   And I bet THREE bags of doughnuts that this “alleged” bully will have future incidents, and, though Nate had his jaw shattered and I feel so bad for him, the next the “alleged” bully’s victim might not be as fortunate.

And I “allegedly” say that all my many bags of doughnuts (cause I love doughnuts) are on the probability that the “alleged” bully’s family counts on the government to take care of most of their “problems”.  And that’s a bet I’ll take to the doughnut shop.

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  • Laurie Anderson says:

    I got goosebumps reading this post. I have 2 adult children both finished with high school. I haven’t had the opportunity to experience in-laws or grandbabies yet (please Lord not yet!. Puhlease!) but so far the most frustrating, stressful and consuming times of their lives for me were middle school and high school. The BS that I had to deal with many many times with the school adminstration still makes my head spin. You are spot on with your comment “They are unable to teach or administrate effectively because they are forced by local, state, and federal law to follow nonsensical rules and essentially have been given children that have little to no parental guidance or care.” It brings to mind one of my daughter’s experiences during the last week of her junior year. During lunch, some dumb ass kid thought it would be funny to “lock up” her tote bag with another girl’s. Haha. Except these bags contained their school work and they couldn’t open them because the padlock had been attached nearing the opening. The girls panicked because they needed bags to take to the next class. My daughter had a final report due that afternoon. So they went to the office for help and were refused because state law prohibited the school from cutting a lock without a court order! Say, what? So my determined daughter sought out the custodian and convinced him to cut the lock. He did and somehow the school office found out. My daughter’s punishment for trying to get a lock off her own bag? A 3-day suspension for disobeying regulations!! On another occassion, my son was chased by a group of boys with lacross sticks lifted from the PE room after school. This was right after school and the bullies were caught. But I didn’t get a phone call just the story from my own son. The icing on the cake, the school wouldn’t tell me ANYTHING about the incident because it was confidential information. I never knew if the kids were disciplined or what. Thank goodness he wasn’t hurt like this poor boy with a broken jaw. We have all of these “rules” in place to protect “our rights” but the result is that we end up protecting the bullies. What about the victim’s rights?? What happened to good old fashioned common sense??

  • John says:

    I remember 7th grade and the jackwagon who liked to torment me. One day said idiot came up behind me and a group of my “friends” after school, still on school grounds, and pushed me, “Gimme a light Winters”. “I don’t smoke.” turn around and continued to walk. Push again, “I said gimme a light”. I spun around on a dime, grabbed him by his jacket and threw him against the wall and pulled my fist back. His eyes were as wide as saucers. Neither of us moved for a few seconds. I dropped him and continued to walk on. Great praise from my “friends”, coolest thing they’d ever seen. Just past school grounds his older cousin confronted me. “You been picking on my cousin?” “Nope. He started it, I finished it. He leaves me alone, I leave him alone.” and walk away. Couple of blocks away one of my “friends” decides he has to show he’s still top dog of our group, and out of nowhere put’s me in a headlock. Nobody rose up to my defense. I got away from him and NEVER talked to ANY of them again. People still made comments and talked smack about me, but none of them ever made a physical move against me again. Similar incident happened when I was in the Navy while on deployment to Antarctica. When we got back to California somebody thought it would be funny to make us room mates. One night I had just gone to bed when he came in with two buddies. They thought I was asleep and his two buddies were making noise about messing with me. He advised them against it. Never had another ounce of trouble with him. In today’s PC/upside down world I would have been the bad guy.

  • Laureen says:

    Catherine, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU for taking on this subject and highlighting Nate’s story. It seems that we hear a different bullying story every day. It’s a hot button topic. Kids are talking about it. There are support groups and advocate groups popping up everywhere. It’s astounding (and shocking, and sad) the stuff that comes up when you search “bullying” on Youtube. How is it that the SCHOOLS, places where kids are supposed to feel safe so that they can learn, cannot do what is RIGHT for the kids? The advocate groups, the support groups, etc., need to take on the schools. Meanwhile, I see more lawsuits. Sad.

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