Man Claims That Being Gay Made Him Abandon His Family For….16 Years

Man Claims That Being Gay Made Him Abandon His Family For….16 Years

This story has nothing to do with being gay.  Or being religious.  Or being deeply in debt.  Or unhappy in your marriage.  Or being gay…did I already write that?  Because ANY insinuation that being gay is an excuse for the most heinous of behaviors….is one of the most heinous of behaviors.  If I was a gay man, I’d want to kick Eric Myers in the nuts.


Not wondering how his family is.
Not wondering how his family is.


That has to be stated up front, because I’ve read comments on various stories about this man, that insist that gay men are so prejudiced against, that this man HAD to resort to the desperate act of disappearing – even though they will admit it was despicable.  And I’ve read comments that self-righteously state that religion and the Bible were responsible – because his religion made it impossible for him to admit he was gay to his family and make the necessary changes in his life.

Such utter bullshit.  This is a story of a deeply selfish, mean, deceptive, narcisstic TOOL of a man who abandons his family and has the chutzpah to show his face on national television with nut-kicking-provoking excuses.

The 20/20 story referenced in the link above was, as usual, salacious and all about ratings.  I’ve long since given up hope for honest, uplifting stories about the millions of really good people that don’t abandon their families.  Gay or not.  There’s no money in that kind of “boredom” I guess.

The 20/20 story emphasis is on the struggle of Eric Myers being gay, but still living a straight life with a wife and kids. He’s unable to deal with it, and society and religious intolerance “drove him” to do the things he did.  They are careful, of course, to include reporting on the heartbreak of the children and just how difficult life was after their father disappeared.  They do include his form of an apology: “But no one is all good, and no one is all bad,” said Myers”.  Gee.  Who knew?

The title of the 20/20 article, “I Escaped My Life,” indicates the blame or the reason for the anguished disappearance of Eric Myers clearly on being gay.  But, as Paul Harvey liked to remark ”and now, the rest of the story…”  The real 12 million reasons he’s back from the dead, and it wasn’t to make amends with his family.

The Arizona Republic presented a three part investigative story on this in 2011…sometime after Eric came back from the dead in 2007.  It is excellent coverage and the financial revelations are quite interesting.  I mean, you REALLY have to read the “rest of the story” to put the 20/20 sob story in the correct perspective.  Disgusted yet? You should be because it’s not “20/20″…it’s more like 20/400.

Here’s the back story…

Eric Myers stated in the Arizona Republic story:  “It took 17 years for me to accept myself,” he said, adding that, when he disappeared, he was sick from years of deception. But evidently, not quite sick enough.

“His father is worth an estimated $60 million,” said Anne Myers, Eric’s ex-wife. “Divided by five (siblings, including Eric), that is $12 million.”

That’s enough to make the most deceptively sick man decide it’s time to find self-acceptance and file to get his death certificate rescinded, don’t you think?

What we learn from this…story…is that a weak, spoiled, and selfish man could not take responsibility for his sexuality, his family, or his life.  On top of that, he’s a mean son of a bitch.   He drops out and never communicates with his wife and five children.  He decides, after a some 17 years of  working dubious jobs that don’t pay very well,  that it’s a good time to come back from the dead.  Dad isn’t doing too well and there’s a pile of money waiting to be claimed.  He knows it’s going to be messy to try to do it, and will again destroy the fragile peace his children have painfully achieved after 16 years, but Eric is up to the task.  He’s found “self-acceptance”.

Currently his abandoned family is appealing a lawsuit that requires they pay back an $800,000 life insurance policy paid out after he was declared dead.  But Eric vows that whatever agreement is reached, he will not pay a dime for benefits that were paid out as a result of his death.

“Why should I?” he said.”

I guess his idea of “self-acceptance” doesn’t include responsibility. And ABC News is quite willing and eager to let this scumbag blather about it.  Ratings, people, ratings!  Like Eric Myers, ABC is all about the financial incentive.

Being gay was the least of Eric Myers reasons to disappear.  He was deep in debt and kinda sick of having a family.  He took off and left a wide swath of despair behind him. His daughter, Kirsten, 8 years old when her father disappeared,  struggled for years with alcoholism and anxiety.  She isn’t swayed by his excuses:

“I know a lot of people who would never do this … absolutely never blame it on their homosexuality. I don’t believe that he is capable of love,”

“It almost hurt more to have him come back than it did for him to go in the first place”

If he were my father, I’d leave the word “almost” out of the above statement.

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  • Robin H says:

    Wow. I hope karma kicks in and the father leaves him out of his will. He doesn’t deserve a penny of that money. Ooh, better yet, I hope the father leaves it to Eric’s ex-wife and the kids. That would be even better.

    • Eric says:

      No inheritance; not in Will. Was removed from Will within the year of leaving. Not in Will now.
      I did not know what reception I’d get when I returned nor that his Will was not already distributed.
      I did return to family in general. Children and ex were spread across the country.
      I’ve been living my life with Sean and we have very little income for a long time now, and have been quite happy.
      Moved in with parents to relieve my mother from her being worn-out as the only caregiver my father (severe dementia) would permit. We offered her relief so that she would not beat him to the grave.

      ABC’s 20/20 program, “I Escaped My Life…” took 100s hours of coverage and edited it into 21 mins of Sensationalism vs. Balance Journalism – for Perspective/Understanding check out

  • Deanna says:

    I think you covered everything that I was thinking! Thanks, Catherine!

  • SammyJo says:

    I just watched the 20/20 episode on Eric Myers. Afterwords I wanted to know ‘the rest of the story’. While searching for articles, I found your blog whilst looking for Eric’s information and found this link. Eric supposedly had a blog titled “That Was The Act”; however, he must have taken it down once the story aired. His failure to recognize his own liability regarding the insurance fraud shows exactly that he is truly a selfish, despicable person! My heart aches for his two daughter’s who have suffered for years because of his actions. Karma is a bitch and he most definitely will receive his ten fold!

  • Concerned says:

    a white straight girl writing about something she has no idea about. Great.

  • Eric says:

    ABC’s “The VIEW” aired on August 2, 2013 ( ) < the complex Story (tip-of-the-iceberg) starts at the 19:27 min mark.

    After much counseling, returning was the right thing to do for a myriad of reasons. I definitely did not return ‘to feel better about myself’ – if that was my motive, staying away would have been better. The possibility (not guarantee) for healing and closure for others was my motive for returning. Once I successfully grasped hold of my own forgiveness, I strengthened myself in all ways to prepare myself for whatever may become upon my return. At the point I was sure I was ready for anything, I returned. (See more at

    I make no excuse. There is none.

    A dam breaks and harms all below it.
    Afterwards, research reveals the weaknesses of the dam – not making ANY excuse for not addressing what should have been addressed before the dam broke. The research is done to help others to see what weaknesses must be addressed to avoid such harm in the future. What made me go off the deep end are NOT justifications or excuses. I speak my “WHY” so that others will be true to their real selves and thereby avoid breaking (or even getting into the ‘damn’ situation in the first place). Not being true to self (eventually) always results in collateral damage…which is wrong and painful for all involved.

    I felt I had failed as a husband and father and I could not accept myself as a gay man. I had nothing left to live for. Then I got robbed and I snapped. I didn’t decide to leave my family – I had a breakdown and left. I would not have done what I did if I was mentally healthy.

    I never thought about running away. In San Diego, I was traumatized by a robbery. I was broken down, weak and I cracked. My greatest fear was losing my entire family and the life I knew, if they found out I was gay. I grew up in the 60s. When it was not OK to be gay. (Others who have lived in fear, shame and hatred may not have cracked. I was weak and I did.) I thought of killing myself 3 times when I was 13. I became a religious fanatic hoping to cure myself. In that religion, divorce and being gay are not options. In my mind I had no options. I failed with my family and my faith failed me. Killing myself was an option too.
    I am humbly greatly sorry for all the harm my damn situation brought to everyone.

    ABC’s 20/20 program, "I Escaped My Life…" took 100s hours of coverage and edited it into 21 mins of Sensationalism vs. Balance Journalism – for Perspective/Understanding check out

    Others, who have made huge mistakes, hide. One more closet I’m not willing to be in. This is a discussion to reduce such future tragedies. If my motive was to be viewed positively, I would have stayed away. Before, I couldn’t face my life; now I can AND AM.
    My previous weaknesses are lessons for others, to help as many as possible to avoid my pitfalls.

    There are NO excuses for my mistakes – only background to help others who may be in similar situations, not to make theirs. After the airing of 20/20 we went to NYC for "The VIEW" which aired on August 2, 2013 ( ) < the story starts at the 19:27 min mark.

    It is as if I believed there should be no gun restrictions and after hurting someone horribly with a gun, I’ve become an advocate for restrictions. Living A Charade Causes Much Damage for All Affected.
    COME OUT, COME OUT — For Everyone’s Betterment.
    I am OK with being the “Come Out” Poster Person similar to a Stop Smoking Poster, showing what could happen.

    I made a serious mistake and if anyone will learn from it, and not do anything hurtful by living a charade, then some good can result.

    Nothing whatsoever can be said/done to undo. I do regret that that statement is absolutely true, yet accept that it is. Though someone's sentence has been served – it does not undo the act – nor undo the pain caused by the act. Even sentencing one to eternal damnation does not undo.

    I pray time, healing and forgiveness can repair vs. undo.

    I hope this much needed conversation continues. So that it will make it to those living a charade, and encourage them to stop and avoid the collateral damage that will assuredly result.

  • faye says:

    Who is this acerbic, mean spirited Catherine Wilkinson? Yes, Eric Myers is a #1 non human piece of crap, no doubt about it. HE should pay back the $800,000. It was because of HIS actions that they received it but he doesn’t think he’s responsible? Well, how about suing him for back child support for all those years? Is he responsible for that? This man makes me SICK! I do not think I have ever seen such a selfish, self centered person. As for Ms. Wilkinson, why the attack against ABC? They are not responsible for what he did but she acts like they are. What is her problem? Such a cynical, hateful, embittered person.

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