We haven’t really talked much about the MAGA hat-grabbing New York City subway psycho this week.

So, let’s grab some coffee and discuss the unhinged subway liberal who publicly berated and chased a rider down because he was wearing one, triggering, red baseball cap. Yep. You know the one. Cue the video:

Let’s cozy up and huddle in-this deranged person who cannot seem to mind her own business is a “luxury fashion brand strategist” and “freelance creative director”. Her name is Alberta Testanero, and she is 55 years old. TDS Testanero is an Italian-American of dual citizenship and is an alumnus of The Fashion Institute of Technology.

I know what you’re thinking. The fashion industry. Loaded with liberals. Also loaded with “intellectuals” who think anyone who dons a MAGA hat is “uneducated” and “racist”-even if he appears to be Asian.

An experienced team leader, I have a keen understanding of the relationship between corporate strategy and creative vision. No matter how large or small, I approach every project with enthusiasm always furthering brand vision and maintaining the highest standards.”-Alberta Testanero

(Snort.) Maintaining the highest standards. Testanero has worked for several luxury brands to include Bergdorf Goodman, Tiffany & Co., Coach, and Kate Spade. (Makes me wonder if she was part of the disastrous Dylan Mulvaney Kate Spade campaign.) She lives in an apartment on Madison Avenue. The privilege is strong with this one.

As a 53 year-old woman, Alberta Testanero, MAGA Hat Thief, is a woman who has about two years on yours truly. I think about what I would do if a person was sitting across from me on the NYC subway with a Queers for Palestine shirt. Would I insult their intellect? No, (although their shirt is a contradiction of epic proportions). Would I chase after them and attempt to rip the shirt off their body on a subway platform? Hell, no. Why? Because I am a 53 year-old woman and I have better things to do than be triggered by someone else’s political beliefs or ideologies on a damn subway. This 55 year-old woman is acting like she’s 12. In fact, some 12 year-olds are better behaved.

It also seems as though Testanero’s friends have walked away from her lunacy.

She and I stopped being friends a while ago, as she became extremely liberal and very agitated. I see nothing has changed, but now she’s gotten into the extreme, doing things like this.”-A former co-worker

I’ll just go ahead and assume that the former co-worker was racist.

— Hermit (@CryptoHermit_) March 29, 2025

Seems as though the “luxury brand” rep needs a rebrand:

This should be a @TiffanyAndCo Ad since she works with their brand. pic.twitter.com/MHJ8vgtZPD

— PETER (@peterAmerica123) March 29, 2025

Gucci, maybe? Or me thinks Balenciaga…?

Honestly, I think someone can make a killing with this visual on T-shirts. Angry Cat Lady (ACL) Clothing Brand. So triggering, you may tear your ACL!

Nothing says luxury brand like riding the subway harassing strangers.

— James Beam 002 (@M1911_FL) March 29, 2025

As I reflect on being a (former) New Yorker, FIT alumnus (first two years of undergrad) and (still) a proud Italian-American, hearing the tale of Testanero gives me Agita. This Stroonz lives in an apartment on Madison Avenue. Madison Avenue. I think about the humble beginnings of my great-grandparents (and perhaps hers as well) when they first set foot on American soil on Ellis Island. They were dirt poor, tired, hungry, probably haven’t bathed in weeks and helped make New York City the “diverse” melting pot that it is. So many contributions. Such hard work. I marvel at the bridges my great-grandfather helped build while one of my great-grandmothers sold vegetables and fruit at a stand in what is now, Little Italy. Her ancestors (and my ancestors) paved the way for her to act like an immature child on a subway, call an Asian man a “racist” and live in a $4,000 dollar per month apartment.

If we’re still looking for names for a luxury brand Testanero can represent, perhaps La Caduta (cadente means to fall) would be apropos? La Pazza (crazy, lunatic) has a great ring as well. The runway show could feature models running and then subsequently falling and faceplanting in front of spectators. Pianta del Viso! Encore, encore! I see red baseball caps emblazoned with this selling like wildfire during New York Fashion Week!

As for Alberta Testanero, I do hope she is thinking about her life choices right now. Maybe she’ll consider really Making America Great Again by moving back to Italy permanently? Ice that road rash, Bella. And always remember: Fai un giro e scoprilo (FAFO). Ciao, ciao, bambina! MAGA. I’m off to make my Sunday meatballs.

Feature Image Credit: Wikipedia; Make America Great Again hat by Gage Skidmore; cropped.