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In covering Lena Dunham’s account of rape in her new book, I have tried to be fair about her story. But it seems that the time for that is past. Because Lena Dunham herself doesn’t seem to care about her own rape, the alleged assault of two other women, or the fact that this alleged rapist is still a free man. So, it’s either one of two things:
1) Lena Dunham does not care about putting a sexual predator behind bars, or
2) Lena Dunham is a liar who put this story in her book to get attention.
A responsible person, having made this kind of allegation about an act upon herself (one that she acknowledges she is sketchy because of her inebriated state at the time) and in regards to two other women, would file a police report. I am pretty certain that Dunham had no idea that the statute of limitations on rape in the state of Ohio is 20 years (this alleged rape took place less than 10 years ago) before she released this book. As a result, Oberlin College and their police department have a prosecutable crime on their hands – one which both institutions are bound by law to take seriously once those allegations are made – and a “victim” who is unwilling to aid in putting away an alleged rapist.
And if you ask Lena Dunham why she’s not filing that police report and identifying her attacker, well, see what she had to say for yourself.
Some men are enraged by stories of sexual assault that don't have clear cut villains, pimps or men with guns…
— Lena Dunham (@lenadunham) October 18, 2014
That's because these stories force them to ask hard questions about their history with consent…
— Lena Dunham (@lenadunham) October 18, 2014
Well, we all have to ask hard questions. Grow the fuck up.
— Lena Dunham (@lenadunham) October 18, 2014
Thank you to all the women who have shared with me, and to all the men who have said "I believe you." I love you.
— Lena Dunham (@lenadunham) October 18, 2014
And I have some news for certain "news" outlets. No matter how much you thump your keyboards with your meat hands we will not stop talking.
— Lena Dunham (@lenadunham) October 18, 2014
Say what?
So, in your story, Lena Dunham, there’s no “clear-cut villain?” “Barry,” the campus Republican who allegedly raped you, is not a villain?
Color me confused, because most rape victims DO see a villain, and it’s the person who raped them.
And you were pretty clear about your additional allegations about “Barry” – do you remember those?
In the same chapter she alleges that the following semester she learned that after Barry had sex with another girl named Julia, the “wall was spattered with blood … like a crime scene.”
“The next semester, after Barry is gone, my friend Melody tells me that once her friend Julia woke up the morning after sex with Barry, and the wall was spattered with blood. Spattered, she said, “like a crime scene.” But he was nice, and he took her for the morning after pill and named the baby they weren’t having.”
She also says, “There was a story about him punching a girl in the boobs at a party.”
But he wasn’t a “clear-cut villain.”
And we should just all “grow the f*** up” and stop asking you questions about it. We should just accept your word – with no proof, about a crime still within the statute of limitations, and move on. And we should give you the moral high ground of victimhood, while we’re at it, because you say so. You have no proof, you’re unwilling to name names, and you won’t file a police report – but YOU’RE a victim.
Let me be blunt. Either file that police report or be considered a liar. And more importantly, a liar who will never have any credibility ever again as you advocate for rape victims.
You see, YOU told this story. YOU painted yourself into this legal corner. And now YOU don’t get the right to tell people to “grow the f*** up” if they don’t believe you. Because the burden of proof – that’s on YOU, not us. So make all the excuses you want. But then don’t be surprised if you get treated as a liar and a phony.
Rebecca says: Hearing the name Lena Dunham always makes me throw up a little, so I hadn’t until today read your first post or the item in TIME that inspired it.
First, my overwhelming impression is that Dunham is experimenting with narratives for the event. I understand this. Difficult and regrettable encounters that occur under the fog of mind-altering substances are fertile ground for mental experiments. I wish that hadn’t happened; was he to blame or was I to blame? I worry greatly about the idea that for every such encounter, there can always be clear-cut consent. Except for us old married fogies, sex always has an element of emotional risk, not to mention physical (i.e. potential for pregnancy). It is fraught in the moment, and ripe for regrets in the aftermath. And yet it’s a biological imperative. Why do we kid ourselves that this is a simple problem to fix?
I am inspired by a line in the TIME opinion piece to suggest a different alternative than throwing a young man out of college. This line — “Part of the problem is a pure lack of understanding of the true nature of campus sexual assault. These are not dates gone bad, or a good guy who had too much to drink. This is a crime largely perpetrated by repeat offenders,” Senator Kirsten Gillibrand wrote for Time. — makes me ask: What if the perpetrator does not understand that he is one of the repeat offenders? If even the victim cannot quite ascertain whether a sexual offense has occurred, cannot quite decide if she gave consent or not, how is it possible that the perpetrator can know? This defies logic entirely, and it suggests to me that a structured course of counseling should be offered as an alternative to expulsion, for a man “convicted” of sexual assault by a campus tribunal. A “probation” alternative, if you will, with a clean record following.
I am sure this is too soft for campus feminists. I will go one worse by also suggesting that the accuser have her own, separately source of counseling, which might include a module on the effects of alcohol and drugs on our decision-making processes and how to party responsibly. Dunham’s memoir of her rape is very scary reading for a mother of boys like me.
Zombie John Gotti says: Well said.
Research has shown that the part of the brain that allows a person to understand the consequences of an action doesn’t fully develop until age 25. One article stated that, when you ask young people what they were thinking and they say they don’t know, they might well be telling the truth. As a result, it is entirely likely that a college male (or female victim, for that matter) does not fully understand the results of his actions. Counselling could well be the answer.
Kim Quade says: She tells us to “grow the f*** up.”
And she is a picture of mature behavior?
Appalled By The World says: This moron really needs to take her own advice.
Xavier says: She’s desperately trying to establish that once upon a time a man was sexually attracted to her. Still hard to believe, though.
Chris in N.Va. says: Giggle-snorting coffee through my nose!
Kate says: Among other very unattractive things, she’s a potty mouth.
Kim Quade says: Understand, though, that “Barry” must be a composite of all the men she ever slept with, while she was no doubt drunk or stoned on her kiester.
Merle says: Makes me wonder:
morning after regret?
chemically reduced mental capacity?
was she a skank back then?
how does she know he was a Republican?
why was he so desperate as to be attracted to her?
Merle
Jen says: An actress tell a fantastical, frightening story with no evidence to back it up and the press wants to act like it is sworn testimony in front of twelve witnesses.
Actresses, no matter how poor at their craft, are paid to pretend.
They deserve more suspicion regarding the truth of what blather comes out of their mouth more than the average person.
Wfjag says: There are more than a few reasons to suspect that the allegations are fiction. Given Dunham’s political views, it is too convenient that the unidenified “Barry” is a “Republican” (perhaps the only Republican to attend Oberlin College in a couple of decades), and given her disclosing partial names and graphic details of his other alleged rapes, if there were facts supporting her allegations, either the police could develop leads or some other feminist sisters of Dunham would come forth with corroboration. Instead, all that is forthcoming is Dunham’s Book Tour publicity campaign.
Chris in N.Va. says: Perhaps she’s still pondering, like any good White-guilt, privileged Liberal….
….what is it that I personally did — or that this mean ‘ol imperialistic, racist, greedy country did — that caused this person to want to do harm to me/us? Surely it’s our collective guilt that has brought this upon me/us.
Her requisite navel-gazing having been completed, the navel lint collected was donated to a Navel Lint Rescue non-profit for redistribution to those who cannot afford (due largely to evil conservative Republicans) navel lint of their own.
Oh, the morally superior compassion that just oozes from…. well… TMI.
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