The business acumen coming from the Kardashian clan is unending. Now, the oldest sister of the porn star Kim Kardashian, Kourtney Kardashian, has her own line of “wellness” gummies called Lemme. The latest gummy product from her wellness line is specifically for the vagina, called Purr. Lemme Purr, and I can’t help but pronounce it limper.

I’m not a doctor, nor is Kourtney, but she has a team to do research and stuff. From her website and under the tab titled “The Proof,” her products are “science-backed.” Oh, okay, science-backed. Whew.

Research is what makes us different: our formulations include clinically-studied ingredients and best-for-you botanical blends.

The website page goes on to blah blah blah about being green and what clean means to them with packing and shipping.

But basically? Her vitamins are simply a combination of green teas, B12, and CoQ10. That’s it, at least according to what you read on Lemme’s website.

Kourtney Kardashian plugs Lemme Purr gummy which promises to support 'taste, odor and freshness' of a woman's privates https://t.co/ir7FgLAr0E

— Daily Mail Celebrity (@DailyMailCeleb) February 8, 2023

Listen, I can’t begrudge a person taking advantage of capitalism. I’m all for it; it’s the American way, right? But does her new gummy actually do what it says it does? I have no idea and don’t plan to find out.

Feminists apparently have a problem with Kourtney and her gummies. They (the feminists) are upset because they think Kourtney is telling them they are unclean. I think they’re really just jealous because, once again, big influencers are making even more money from having a good marketing team. In this case, however, maybe not so good. But people are talking, so what’s that saying; any press is good press?

And it’s only now that they are screaming you should not take health advice from an influencer but consult your doctor? Oh, okay, I’m looking at you, pro-vaccine mandate at-all-cost-people.

If I had to read it, so do you. In the quoted paragraph below from Fox News, Kourtney speaks about launching her newest gummy for vaginal wellness.

“Vaginal health is such an important part of a woman’s overall well-being (and not talked about enough) which is why we are so excited to launch this! Give your vagina the sweet treat it deserves (and turn it into a sweet treat),” Kardashian’s Instagram post advertising her new product read. “You know what they say…you are what you eat. We combined real pineapple and Vitamin C with the power of clinically-studied SNZ 1969™ probiotics to target vaginal health and pH levels that support freshness and taste.” – from a Fox News article.

I’m just going to leave it at that and let you form your own jokes. But I mean, there’s nothing wrong with pineapple and vitamin C, right? Can pH levels really be manipulated to have a fruit fragrance?

via GIPHY

Other Scams

This whole thing reminds me of several health shams from American history:

Remember “toning” shoes from Reebok and Sketchers? Both brands tried to convince you that your legs would become toned just by walking in their shoes.

Women are not the only ones swindled by false advertising – do any men out there remember Extenze? That little supplement apparently does not help a man out, and the courts agreed because the company paid out a $6M settlement.

But Kourtney Kardashian is not the first celebrity to have a company claim benefits it may or may not possess. She won’t be the last, either. While Jamie Lee Curtis and Sally Field did not own Dannon yogurt, it did not stop them from earning money from commercials endorsing the product for their scammy probiotics claims. Yeah, Dannon had to settle in court too.

I guess a sucker is born every minute.

And Dr. Anita Mitra, who is a bonafide gynecologist, is having none of it. The good doctor gives us her top five reasons not to waste your money on the Lemme Purr.

Here is one of them –

“This is anti-feminist. Anyone who tells you that you need to change the taste or smell of your vulva or vagina is working with the patriarchy,” she wrote. “And while we are at it, let’s stop using the cat emoji to refer to our anatomy.”

Working with the patriarchy? Huh? What does that even mean? Meeeooow.

But I can see Dylan Mulvany expressing his excitement with his cartoonish female voice for this new product. He will daydream of joining Lemme’s affiliate network to keep the new vitamin gummies in his handbag beside his tampons.

Feature Image: Britt Bellamy, CC BY 3.0, via Wikimedia Commons