If there is anything that we know about the political career of Kamala Harris, it’s that she has two default settings when she talks. She either speaks in word salad, or she tells easily disprovable tall tales about her personal life. The latest one is among the latter.

Since it was Labor Day yesterday, Kamala Harris gave an interview to The Nation, which was all about extolling how wonderful labor unions are. The article starts off with saying that “71 percent of Americans now have a favorable view of unions” with zero citation for that statistic. Given the emotions right now of parents who are currently watching the head of one of the largest labor unions shriek and deny that she had ANYTHING to do with schools being closed for months on end, I’m going to question exactly where the hell that rosy “71 percent favorable” rating came from. Especially when the article admits in paragraph three that union membership nationwide is only at 10.3 percent. Weird.

Regardless, Harris is happy to talk about how much the Democrats and the Biden administration supports union labor, which is the biggest legal money laundering scheme in politics. The unions use their money to get Democrats elected, the Democrats make sure the unions get the contracts and the exemptions, wash, rinse, repeat.

“I do believe that this is the beginning of the next era of the labor movement—the modern labor movement,” said Harris when she and I spoke Friday afternoon. To a far greater extent than many Americans are aware, the vice president knows her way around the labor movement. As the daughter of an activist mother who brought her along to join picket lines, and as a product of the rough-and-tumble politics of one of America’s great union towns, San Francisco, she is informed and engaged with labor issues. And she displays as much passion as President Joe Biden has for transforming the character of labor relations in a country where unions have been let down by both Republican and Democratic administrations. “The president and I were talking at lunch today about this,” Harris said. “We are so proud—and I hope I don’t give off any bravado in saying this—but we are very proud that we will end up being the most pro-labor administration probably ever.”

Oh, gag me. First of all, you will never convince me that Kamala Harris and Joe Biden talk about anything policy-related at lunch. Biden is probably given a cue card of things to ask Kamala, and she tries to look the other way as he eats his ice cream like it’s his last meal. And her “I hope I don’t give off any bravado” line? SPARE ME. This woman is so incredibly disingenuous. It would be hilarious if she wasn’t one staircase fall away from the Oval Office.

So, having told that whopper, Kamala Harris then pulls the other one. Remember her stories of “fweedom” and being the little girl on the bus that Joe Biden tried to keep out of an integrated school? Chalk this one up there with them.

“Kamala Harris says she never tried a grape until she was in her 20s, having grown up amid United Farm Workers-inspired grape boycotts in California” https://t.co/LxKQM7deeo

— Josh Kraushaar (@JoshKraushaar) September 6, 2022

Nope, this is what she is claiming.

Growing up in California in the late 1960s and early ’70s, with a mother who was “very deeply rooted” in the movements for economic, social, and racial justice, the vice president was inspired by Cesar Chavez, Delores Huerta, and the United Farm Workers, which used grape boycotts to force growers to negotiate. “The farmworkers movement was very much a part of my childhood,” she recalled. “This sounds quaint, and so I’m reluctant to say it, but, you know, I didn’t eat a grape until I was in my 20s. Like, literally, had never had a grape. I remember the first time I had a grape, I went, ‘Wow! This is quite tasty.’ It was absolutely ingrained so deeply in me: Never cross a picket line.”

Okay, let’s do some simple math here. There were apparently three well-known grape workers’ boycotts due to strikes and protests. The first and most famous one was from 1965 to 1970. This is likely what Kamala Harris is talking about, because she was born in 1964.

Still, is a four year old noticing that she’s not eating grapes? A second grape boycott took place from 1973 to 1978. By the end of this period of time, Kamala Harris is living in Canada, probably not thinking about the California grape industry. Her mother moved her to Montreal in 1976, and she graduated from high school there in 1981. The third grape boycott began in 1984 and lasted until 2000. Kamala Harris would have turned 20 in 1984, and would have been 36 when the last boycott ended. And she claims that she ate her first grape sometime in her twenties, while the third (and largely ineffective) boycott was ongoing. WHOOPS. Kamala, you “crossed a picket line” when you ate that first grape!

Math hilarity aside, how many people really know that there were three grape boycotts? Bet you Joe Biden’s ice cream freezer that Kamala Harris doesn’t know that! She is probably talking about the only boycott that people actually remember, which is the first one. Do I believe that Kamala Harris’s mother refused to buy grapes? Sure. Do I believe that Kamala Harris never had so much as an oatmeal raisin cookie, or a sip of grape juice, until she was in her twenties? Not in the slightest. Is it hilarious that according to her own timeline, Kamala Harris would have “crossed a picket line” in order to eat her alleged first grape? Absolutely!

And here lies the real problem with Kamala Harris – she lies for attention. Joe Biden does the same thing, when he tells these stories from his past about Corn Pop and the rest. It would have been enough for Kamala Harris to say “I remember my mother wouldn’t buy grapes for the longest time because of the boycott,” but nope, she has to go whole hog and claim that she never tasted a grape until her twenties because she would NEVER cross a picket line! Harris is under the impression that this little anecdotes will make her more relatable and likeable. But when her tall tales are so dumb, and so easy to poke holes in, she just ends up looking incredibly stupid and shallow.

Just remember that this brain trust is only a heartbeat away from the presidency. Vote accordingly.

Featured image: original Victory Girls art by Darleen Click